I'm scared...

[Tungsten]

For quite some time now, I think about when I became generally apathetic, it seems that my personality and emotions have split into three separate components... The three being, firstly the part that is most often myself in that it is apathetic, logical and generally devoid of much emotion... Secondly is the part of my personality that is happy, outgoing, excited and tends to smile a lot, occasionally this aspect comes to the front taking over from the more apathetic side... and the last one, which seems to be more separate to the others, the other two being like two sides of a coin, is the component of my personality that personifies, hate, greed, envy, anger, cruelty and such... the thing is though, that these parts often talk in the back of my mind... commenting on things that occur, and it is the third part, when it starts to talk to me that makes me scared...
Sometimes I even have dreams in which this cruel, spiteful, sadistic thing takes over, and pushes me to the back of my own mind. In these dreams I witness myself doing immeasurably cruel and demented things, to those that I'd normally care for, torturing and inflicting pain on them and other twisted things for pleasure.. and the thing is, that I believe I would be capable of such things if they ever did take over in real life, and it really scares and depresses me. So much so that I often end up self-harming after such dreams, or when it talks to me...
I really need some help with it... Am I okay...?

[DiamondsGirl]

First off, when you're having auditorial hallucination, you're best not try to keep this to yourself. Do you have a psychiatrist? If not, is there any near you? You need professional help IMO hallucination is not fun, and you need to sort that first before anything else.

Second off, do believe in your own self. Believe that this is YOUR body and this is YOUR consciousness. Should you not want to do it, you wouldn't. Because YOU control your body. Not your hallucination. Why? Because it won't be called hallucination if it is real. It's not real. It's not any more real than a gory movie. Hang in there, alright? :) x

[Dalcourt]

If this is really as bad as you describe it and you feel like you are losing control I'd talk to a professional.
If it's just nightmares...well, they sound scary but are just dreams. I have violent nightmares in certain phases, too and that over a period of years now...still I'm not scared anymore as I know that I am in control and would not do anything of the things in real life.

So as I said it could be harmless or something you need to seek help for...depends on your condition.

[Tungsten]

First off, when you're having auditorial hallucination, you're best not try to keep this to yourself. Do you have a psychiatrist? If not, is there any near you? You need professional help IMO hallucination is not fun, and you need to sort that first before anything else.

Second off, do believe in your own self. Believe that this is YOUR body and this is YOUR consciousness. Should you not want to do it, you wouldn't. Because YOU control your body. Not your hallucination. Why? Because it won't be called hallucination if it is real. It's not real. It's not any more real than a gory movie. Hang in there, alright? :) x

No, I don't have a psychiatrist... Is it really auditory hallucinations if it is part of yourself talking to you...?

If this is really as bad as you describe it and you feel like you are losing control I'd talk to a professional.
If it's just nightmares...well, they sound scary but are just dreams. I have violent nightmares in certain phases, too and that over a period of years now...still I'm not scared anymore as I know that I am in control and would not do anything of the things in real life.

So as I said it could be harmless or something you need to seek help for...depends on your condition.

I guess they probably are not worth being scared of.... but it isn't really the nature of hem but that I believe that I might actually do such things that scares me...

[DiamondsGirl]

It is a hallucination if:
- You have no control of it.
- You don't know what will the voice say next
- The sound is vivid and as real as any other voice you hear on Earth

I *think* I have occasional auditory hallucination but I am in full control of it so it doesn't bother me. In fact, I use them voices as an aid to go to sleep. When I find it hard to sleep, I just tell myself "listen!" and wait. Soon these voices would start taking turns speaking in my head. There are a lot of voices. It can be a man or a woman, but mostly adults' voice. They're always saying meaningless parts of a conversation such as "...and he says I have to..." "...did think that she..." etc. Sometimes they're in English, sometimes in my local language. They're supposedly hallucination, but they only fulfill criteria #2 and #3 of my little list above. I don't know if this is what you're experiencing?