hipster = no friends?

[ThatAsianGuyinHK]

What if you don't have any same interests as all your peers?
What if you are not the friendly and funny type that everyone loves?
What if you are considered nearly transparant to others even if you can and are willing to talk?
How can you get friends in this condition :( ?

Even though throughout the most of my life, friends play a really small role since I'm busy studying average 12-14 hours a day(necessary for most here in HK), still occasionally I feel lonely and admire those who have only 1-2 friends. After that, I just delve into the imaginery world of Internet....

Should I change myself and my personalities?
What have I done possibly wrong? Being too honest?

Any tips/advice would be lovely :)

[ninja789]

You should never change who you are just to fit in but there are little things (like being too honest) that can really annoy people. You just need to learn what people's limits are for certain traits. You do seem really lovely though :)

[phuckphace]

I gotta say, 14 hours a day of studying sounds insanely unhealthy, both physically and mentally.

[Body odah Man]

Don't change yourself to fit in as then they aren't real friends at all

[DiamondsGirl]

I agree with phuckphace. I am an Asian myself and I know how strict schools can be, but come on... Life is short! Did you realize that we spend twelve years in basic education? Do you really want to spend twelve hours studying every day for twelve whole years? There is surely a way to work around your schedule and lessen the study time while maintaining your grades right? Surely! =\

If you go to the net so much, why not join some nation-based community website and attend their meet-up? The world is a much larger place. Oh and I think the answer to your last questions are pretty obvious. Come on... Do you REALLY want to change who you are? :) Stay true to yourself. If they can't handle you, it's their loss.

[Dalcourt]

Your study time really seems way too much, it's unhealthy, you need time to relax, too.
Other, I don't think you should change yourself...I'm sure if you cut down on studying a bit and relax more, you be able to have a social life, too.

[backjruton]

I changed some things about myself to make friends but nothing too serious. >I< hate bathing but I do it every day for college, I hate shaving but I do it every day for college (and partly for my sanity as I hate facial hair) and I go days and days wearing the same t-shirts, or at least I used to - I've changed my top 4 times in the past 2 days and don't even have to go anywhere. Some of it's been embarrassing though, I bought a lot of bobble hats for some reason as they helped with my confidence and now I'm having problems to stop wearing them. It's Summer and I'm still wearing bobble hats and thick hoodies because I'm trying to co-ordinate my clothes :P this is just a simple thing though.

You shouldn't try to change your interests because that can go worse than you might be thinking. Some of my friends drink, smoke and do drugs; I wouldn't do that because of them, we all think I'm weird enough already - you could try to know more about what people talk about but it still won't be interesting for you as some things just aren't. I hardly listen to the same music as a lot of my peers also, something else you shouldn't change if you're considering it - my friends in college listen to Black Veil Brides, Avenged Sevenfold and MCR but I wouldn't because that's not my kind of music, I guess your music tastes depend on something natural rather than just listening to it and saying "OOh I like that" when you didn't before.

Everyone says I'm funny but that's partly due to things I can't really control a lot of the time so I don't really know much to say but I wouldn't exactly call myself too friendly. It sounds like the only difference between us in this area is that "you're willing to talk" and I know I'm not because the effects of something that happened 4-5 years ago are finally hitting me and I'm feeling worse than ever. I can't talk to people very well right now, I can only talk to them face to face and even then I need to talk to them when there's more people around - I would rather a large group of people find out something "secretive" about me than just 1 person because of the time I trusted this 1 person not to tell anyone and he did as if I make a lot of people find out I won't be hurt as easily, and I can't talk to old friends over facebook or anything because I can't be sure they won't do what he did.

I find it much easier to talk to people online that I've never seen face to face; as long as they're around the same age as I am (I think over 25 I get freaked out quite a lot... except for 2 online friends I've known for 7 years that I still talk to quite frequently and they won't spill the beans on their age) and if I don't know them well it always needs to be on something like this, a forum where everyone can see what you post. As far as I know, I'm the only person in my college course who plays RuneScape - that's my own interest, and by far my biggest interest; I wouldn't stop playing a game I love to adapt and make more friends, I've been playing it almost non-stop for 7 years (I think since 2007 or 2006... meh) and made more good friends on there than I ever have in real life. I think it's better to make friends over the internet, because at least then if you have a big fall out you can block them but you can't block the people you go to school with.

Don't try to change for anyone in school, especially because you do so much work (which I can't really think of a comment for) and changing could ruin things for you - it is a lot of work to be doing and you should only be doing it if you feel the need to but they shouldn't try to change that either way. It's much easier to make friends online, especially in the case of someone with an ASD, so I would recommend trying to do that instead of hurting yourself inside trying it and failing with your peers.

[ThatAsianGuyinHK]

Thanks everyone for the tips, kinda made up my mind to worry less and stay to my true self. I AM MYSELF :)


why not join some nation-based community website and attend their meet-up?

Actually never thought of the suggestion before... Did a bit of research, while I didn't find any apprppiate for my age, I'm sure I'll keep on looking for one and most likely find one !




I changed some things about myself to make friends but nothing too serious. >I< hate bathing but I do it every day for college, I hate shaving but I do it every day for college (and partly for my sanity as I hate facial hair) and I go days and days wearing the same t-shirts, or at least I used to - I've changed my top 4 times in the past 2 days and don't even have to go anywhere. Some of it's been embarrassing though, I bought a lot of bobble hats for some reason as they helped with my confidence and now I'm having problems to stop wearing them. It's Summer and I'm still wearing bobble hats and thick hoodies because I'm trying to co-ordinate my clothes :P this is just a simple thing though.

You shouldn't try to change your interests because that can go worse than you might be thinking. Some of my friends drink, smoke and do drugs; I wouldn't do that because of them, we all think I'm weird enough already - you could try to know more about what people talk about but it still won't be interesting for you as some things just aren't. I hardly listen to the same music as a lot of my peers also, something else you shouldn't change if you're considering it - my friends in college listen to Black Veil Brides, Avenged Sevenfold and MCR but I wouldn't because that's not my kind of music, I guess your music tastes depend on something natural rather than just listening to it and saying "OOh I like that" when you didn't before.

It sounds like the only difference between us in this area is that "you're willing to talk" and I know I'm not because the effects of something that happened 4-5 years ago are finally hitting me and I'm feeling worse than ever. I can't talk to people very well right now, I can only talk to them face to face and even then I need to talk to them when there's more people around - I would rather a large group of people find out something "secretive" about me than just 1 person because of the time I trusted this 1 person not to tell anyone and he did as if I make a lot of people find out I won't be hurt as easily, and I can't talk to old friends over facebook or anything because I can't be sure they won't do what he did.

I find it much easier to talk to people online that I've never seen face to face; as long as they're around the same age as I am (I think over 25 I get freaked out quite a lot... except for 2 online friends I've known for 7 years that I still talk to quite frequently and they won't spill the beans on their age) and if I don't know them well it always needs to be on something like this, a forum where everyone can see what you post. As far as I know, I'm the only person in my college course who plays RuneScape - that's my own interest, and by far my biggest interest; I wouldn't stop playing a game I love to adapt and make more friends, I've been playing it almost non-stop for 7 years (I think since 2007 or 2006... meh) and made more good friends on there than I ever have in real life. I think it's better to make friends over the internet, because at least then if you have a big fall out you can block them but you can't block the people you go to school .




Even though I'm younger, but hey I'm actually surprised to see someone similar to me.
I like electronic (apparently no one from my school listens to that)
I play PC games like QuakeLive,TF2,CS:GO, Dota 2, Loadout, which again only a few out of a thousand in my school would play it.
I wear T-shirt WHOLE YEAR, no matter the seasons and weather. Partly cuz I live nearer to the equator than alot of you guys.

Oh, about the talking thing, I once went to UK for a month, went back home, tried to talk to strangers like people did in UK, got glared at and that suspicious and hateful look ... *shudders*. So yeah I'm brave enough to talk through the Internet, less in real life as well :P

[DiamondsGirl]

Whoa whoa LOL what do you mean "not appropriate for your age"? XD apparently it's a scary place over there? :P

surely there's a gamer community there somewhere. Get me a teen-inappropriate gamer club, if there's any ;)

[laurakitty]

Be ur self and so,some will love you for you

[Bmble_B]

What if you don't have any same interests as all your peers?
What if you are not the friendly and funny type that everyone loves?
What if you are considered nearly transparant to others even if you can and are willing to talk?
How can you get friends in this condition :( ?

Even though throughout the most of my life, friends play a really small role since I'm busy studying average 12-14 hours a day(necessary for most here in HK), still occasionally I feel lonely and admire those who have only 1-2 friends. After that, I just delve into the imaginery world of Internet....

Should I change myself and my personalities?
What have I done possibly wrong? Being too honest?

Any tips/advice would be lovely :)

Yea dude, don't make the same mistake I did. At my school, due to changing and acting like a funny and judgemental asshole, now Im in an entire group of people who's brains would hurnt even if I tried speaking or behaving like a truly am. To be honest, I only have 2 GOOD friends that I can express myself to. And over the short time of being a teenager, I've realised all I need are 2 friends that're actually there for me, instead of 7 of em' that would completely reject me if I told even a smidgen of what I told people here. So please, don't make the same mistake I did.

[Babiole]

What if you don't have any same interests as all your peers? It shouldn't matter. I know that a lot of my friends aren't really into watching old movies like I am. Plus they tend to read different things from me - I tend to read more older literature while many of my friends prefer recent books. I admit, I am somewhat old-fashioned. I actually enjoy cricket (even though normally I don't play sports - I can play soccer fine, though it's not one of my favorites, and I'm horrible at rugby), which most of my friends don't care for. We do play the sport here in France, but it's far from popular. I also am a big fan of Birdy, and a lot of the kids at my school don't know who she is.
What if you are not the friendly and funny type that everyone loves? I'm not that funny. Believe me. I'm not exactly friendly, but I am nice. It's okay.
What if you are considered nearly transparent to others even if you can and are willing to talk? I don't understand what you mean.
How can you get friends in this condition ?

Should I change myself and my personalities? No way! Be yourself. I have a lot friends who like stuff that I hate. It's normal for different friends to like different things.
What have I done possibly wrong? Being too honest? You've done nothing wrong. Being unique is what makes us all special. Mom and Dad always tell me that.