Be open, curious and free yourself from mental taboo attitudes. Question everything.

[rationalmind]

I just want to preface this by saying I really like the idea behind this type of forum. It can be very helpful and reassuring. From what I have seen, some execution and close minded treatment has made a poor example.

After reading a few posts and seeing them shut down by moderators I think this is one of those environments where you can only go to for certain questions. One of those societal, "you are completely free," whilst someone holds a knife to your back.

An example is one young lad asking something considered really taboo; is it ok to masturbate over Facebook photos? This was swiftly followed by a not so professional moderator blocking the post and calling them creepy. Not very helpful, let alone reassuring to someone already feeling isolated. As for whether it is about puberty, of course it is. It is completely natural to wonder what is and is not ok. It is really selfless to want to fit in to a society and follow the rules.

Apparently it is also not ok to talk about cyber sex, urination or having a tight vaginal opening, but it is ok. These things should not be censored. It is ok people. Talk about these elephants in the room. Gain some sensibility, humility, understanding.

Who is to decide what is and is not to do with puberty?

If it comes up in the conversation, obviously it is under question or on ones mind. Instead of hiding it, address it.
So to anyone who is told, "no, that is not about the topic, " they are wrong to say that and you know inside that if it is on your mind it is on topic. You decide for yourself what is for yourself.

It is ok to be different. It is ok to be curious. It is ok to be happy.

"We live in a world where we have to hide to make love whilst violence is practised openly on the street." - John Lennon

May all find peace and prosperity; to the cosmos.

[Elysium]

You might be surprised to find that I agree with you. I'm one of the most open minded people I know. I have never once been disturbed by fetishes, no matter how taboo. I'm all about questioning - in fact, my religion strongly encourages it. I think questioning is good and healthy, pushing the limits and finding who you are and where you fit in is really important.

That said, this forum has a designated purpose. We as staff members do call the shots about what is and what isn't puberty related on our site, where we decide on the rules and enforce them, and sometimes those are difficult calls. And sometimes locking a thread has nothing to do with the topic at hand, but the responses getting out of line. I think these are all important things to do, questioning and whatnot, but there's a time and place for everything and sometimes, VT is not that place.

I believe I might've been the moderator who called it creepy, and you know what, I'll defend that. Looking at porn is one thing, but masturbating to people you know, without their knowledge or consent? I mean yes, they did put the pictures up, but should they really have to erase their entire online presence just so some horny teenager won't jerk off to them? Have a little decency, come on. I would be extremely disturbed if I found out someone was doing that to me.

Cyber sex... it depends on the context. Discussions of safety are one thing, asking to do it/have you ever done it is another. What about that is puberty related? What about that is educational? The same goes for urination (of course, depending on the context), and as for a tight vaginal opening, I can't possibly think of what you're referring to - that sounds puberty related to me. Maybe we are a little limited, but you need to realize that we are a site with a clear intention, and that intention is not to help teenagers hookup and be inappropriate and lewd. That intention is to help, advise, and educate. That doesn't mean that questioning and exploration aren't okay to discuss, but we just don't want it done here, do you understand? It's like smoking. Teachers aren't going to stop you from smoking, just don't do it at school. Puberty101 is often misused and misinterpreted as a sexual hangout. That's not a reputation we want for our site, so yes, we keep a strict leash on that type of thing. But how often do you see threads locked elsewhere for any reason other than being bumped or requested?

If you are going to use our site, agree to our terms of service and our rules, then I hate to break it to you, but we have a right to enforce rules as we see fit. You don't have to like it, you don't have to agree with it, but you do have to obey it. If you don't want to, nobody's forcing you to stay.

That said, this obviously is not puberty related. If you or anyone else has any issue at all with the way a moderator has handled something or with a rule, please take it to a staff member and don't post threads like this and make a scene. Especially if you've been on the forum less than 24 hours and it's your only post. It doesn't look very credible.

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