Coming out as bi to parents.

[maddogmj77]

I'm planning on telling my mom and dad that I am bisexual. I have no idea how to go through with it, but I DO NOT wanna do it face to face. I'll get nervous, start saying random things really quietly and quickly, have my throat swell up to the point it hurts, and maybe even start randomly crying. I've come out to 3 friends, 2 guys, and 1 bi girl. I feel like I gotta do this sometime, and it's never gonna get easier. ANY suggestions, comments, or questions are welcome. I'm desperate :(

[Bmble_B]

Just sit down and think through how you're gonna go through with this. Try planning your entire convo and continue from there. Dont rush into it though, if you feel that ur not ready then dont. Sit down and breathe, this takes time to be able to come out.

[ksdnfkfr]

bi girl. I feel like I gotta do this sometime, and it's never gonna get easier. ANY suggestions, comments, or questions are welcome. I'm desperate :(

Personally I don't think you gotta. It really isn't a requirement imo. I think it is easier later on when you're an adult on your own.

[maddogmj77]

Personally I don't think you gotta. It really isn't a requirement imo. I think it is easier later on when you're an adult on your own.

Yeah, I know. But I don't think I should hide it from them for a whole 4 years, it doesn't seem fair to them.

[Tatii99]

Take pictures of you and your significant other kissing and leave them around places you know they will find them.

[maddogmj77]

Take pictures of you and your significant other kissing and leave them around places you know they will find them.

I would have no way of doing that, and wouldn't do it anyways. Nice idea though. lol

[DiamondsGirl]

Plan what you're gonna say as if it's a speech test. If you're not gonna do it face-to-face, leave a letter. Good luck x

[ksdnfkfr]

Yeah, I know. But I don't think I should hide it from them for a whole 4 years, it doesn't seem fair to them.

I could see that if you were talking about being full out gay. But not for being bi.

[maddogmj77]

I could see that if you were talking about being full out gay. But not for being bi.

Ehhhh, I still feel they should know.

Plan what you're gonna say as if it's a speech test. If you're not gonna do it face-to-face, leave a letter. Good luck x

Wow, for some reason I NEVER thought of a letter. I'm not even being sarcastic, I'm gonna write a few things down and see how it goes. :)

[ksdnfkfr]

Ehhhh, I still feel they should know.

Do you have a boyfriend at all? (it's more typical not to have one at 14). My folks put it together on their own based on how me and my friend acted towards each other.

[maddogmj77]

Do you have a boyfriend at all? (it's more typical not to have one at 14). My folks put it together on their own based on how me and my friend acted towards each other.

Nope. There is absolutely no way anyone would know I'm bi unless I told them.

[KidKing]

Would it be easier to tell your preferred parent?
They'd of course relay it to the other, and it might halve the difficulty of going through with it.

Otherwise, maybe saying that you like guys and girls might be less hard to say?
When I came out [as gay] I just told them I liked a guy and left them to make their own interpretations.

However it goes, best of luck to you!

[football3114]

I like thinking about sucking dick and I just want someone to talk to

[logan69]

It's really up to you. If you feel comfortable with it do it

[maddogmj77]

Would it be easier to tell your preferred parent?
They'd of course relay it to the other, and it might halve the difficulty of going through with it.

Otherwise, maybe saying that you like guys and girls might be less hard to say?
When I came out [as gay] I just told them I liked a guy and left them to make their own interpretations.

However it goes, best of luck to you!

I'm probably gonna tell my dad, and have him tell my mom. I'm just gonna say either pansexual or bisexual, in a letter. Also, I have recently discovered, I may be pansexual. Sooooooo, I was wondering if I should tell them that, or keep it simple and say bi. Also if I should re-come out to my 3 friends, I told them I was bi.

[myfoodisnotshared]

I am in exactly that boat. I know what you're saying - it doesn't matter that you don't have a boyfriend or girlfriend in my case, it's a really significant part of your life and you want them to know.

I'd keep it simple with bi. If you say pan, they'll likely not know what it is - and then you'll have to tell them which will make things harder, especially as pan can be quite a hard concept to grasp - and they'll be more likely to think you're 'over thinking' or 'going through a phase' which seems to be the big issue for bi's coming out.

My one big piece of advice would be disregard the first reaction. The most supportive parents say the most stupid things because they know this moment is defining for them, they know they have to say the right thing, and sometimes pressure makes us real idiots so they say they're embarrassed or they don't know. Ignore all that, it's the later reactions that matter.

Oh, and don't rush it. I did that when coming out to my sister, pretty much told her I had a crush on a girl we both knew and that I was bi in the same breathe, and it was just a little too much detail about her baby sis's love life. It's not that I think your parents will be grossed out about the idea of you with a guy, just grossed out about the idea of their son and sex being in the same sentence.

Good luck:-) I wouldn't do it in a letter myself (eternal proof to embarrass you with when you bring round partners) but I understand why you might want to.

[Unsolvedmind]

I have been in the same exact position you are in right now. I was Terrified to come out to my parents and yes it is really scary. But how i did it was i went on my moms (I)Phone and then went in to the notes app and basically made a long story about how i knew i was bisexual and then just said it. That's just a suggestion though you dont have to do it that way if you dont want to

[backjruton]

All I can say is.. I told my parents about my sexuality in an argument about something completely unrelated to try and shift the conversation. At that point they didn't take much notice, but last month my mum asked me about it again and it felt much easier that time. If you get into arguments with other members of your family quite frequently, try to go down this route... but it might not work for everyone.

[Matt_97]

Plan it out a bit before hand, i planned on how i was gonna tell my best friend... I may have been a nervous wreck all day in the build up to it but it does help (a little bit). I know one of my friends wrote a letter and another that did it face to face. But it's all down to how you feel and how you'd want them to find out. My parents don't know yet and personally i'm planning to tell my mum face to face (unsure on my dad because of how homophobic he is)! And what ever you do don't do it in a way you'll regret later on.. I almost told my parents as i stormed out the house one day as i was about to take the dog out for a walk and i'm glad i didn't! But good luck with it :D

[plebble]

You could send a text to them saying it... but then again, that could be the worst advice I've ever given.

How do they react to other people being gay/bi? Do you know what their views on homosexuality are?

[maddogmj77]

You could send a text to them saying it... but then again, that could be the worst advice I've ever given.

How do they react to other people being gay/bi? Do you know what their views on homosexuality are?

I have absolutely no idea. But, just based on "them", I would think they'd be perfectly fine with it.

[Star Wolf]

I have absolutely no idea. But, just based on "them", I would think they'd be perfectly fine with it.

If you think they will be cool with it, then just take a deep breath, relax, and embrace your sexuality. Tell one of them casually. Like an, on by the way, thing.