Falling for someone when you're attached?

[liptonlee]

Like thread title. Anyone has these kinds of experience? I find myself in quite a sticky situation and i dont know how to get out...

[Dalcourt]

Happen to me...is this enough as an answer or do you need to know any specific, like how it ended?

[death-metal]

Happened to me too... and yes, it sucks

[DiamondsGirl]

I don't understan unfortunately. What's "attached"?

[liptonlee]

Happen to me...is this enough as an answer or do you need to know any specific, like how it ended?

yes the more specific the better...i wanna how others solve such a problem...

I don't understan unfortunately. What's "attached"?

like when you are having a crush on somebody else while being in a relationship

Happened to me too... and yes, it sucks

mind sharing how's it? i really need some advice here...

[death-metal]

mind sharing how's it? i really need some advice here...

Wait, you mean you already are in a relationship and you are falling for someone else too?
If that's the case then I completely misunderstood the post. I thought you meant being really close to someone and falling for them. I mistook "attached" for being close to someone.
If you meant you already are in a relationship but you're falling for someone else, then I'll have to ask you something; why are you in a relationship with someone else in the first place?

[DiamondsGirl]

a quote from some random celebrity whose name I can't remember: if you ever fall in love with a second person after being in a relationship with another person, pick the second one. Because if you really loved the first one, there's no way you would fall in love with the second one.

[Dalcourt]

yes the more specific the better...i wanna how others solve such a problem...

Um, the details...I guess in a shortened version it would be like: I was with person A. This one seemed nice and caring and we had a good time. At a friend's birthday party I met person B who was a few years older and way cooler...I got bored in my relationships with A, started hanging out with B more when A wasn't around. Finally cheated on A with B and was a total idiot to a good person like A.
A separated from me as he found out what was going on.

After that I got together with be and at first we had a real awesome time, later B started to get jealous always suspecting me of making out with others behind his back ... I didn't but after what I did to A it is obvious why he'd think I'm unfaithful. It became worse, he turned out a complete asshole...and eventually friends advised me to dump him.

I did so, but not without tons of drama from his side. I'm rid of him at last and been living happily ever after with C.

But beware not all this relationships have to end up like that...just be true to yourself and think about what you really want.

[ksdnfkfr]

Kinda, but my attachment is stronger then my crush.

[luq_]

a quote from some random celebrity whose name I can't remember: if you ever fall in love with a second person after being in a relationship with another person, pick the second one. Because if you really loved the first one, there's no way you would fall in love with the second one.

It's Johny Depp. And yeah, I kinda agree with that. Although I cannot say I've had any experience with situations even remotely similar to that.
Do you still love the person you're in relationship with? Flip a coin. Don't look at the outcome - how do you hope it turned out? What did you hope for while it was in the air?

[DiamondsGirl]

Johnny Depp? Right, there's a reason why I love that guy

[Body odah Man]

I have never even HAD a relationship but if it does happen (your thread scenario) STICK with the first girl. 's Kinder

[Saint]

You sure it isn't just lust?

But if it's a crush that's been going on for a few months,you need to reevaluate your current relationship on where it's heading. Your girl definitely doesn't need to be in a relationship if you're half assed and confused about your feelings for her,and you don't deserve to be in the relationship for the same reasons. Don't mean to sound rude,but you just need to be clear about your feelings.

[Body odah Man]

You sure it isn't just lust?

But if it's a crush that's been going on for a few months,you need to reevaluate your current relationship on where it's heading. Your girl definitely doesn't need to be in a relationship if you're half assed and confused about your feelings for her,and you don't deserve to be in the relationship for the same reasons. Don't mean to sound rude,but you just need to be clear about your feelings.

Easier said than done sadly. Feelings are a quagmire

[Saint]

Easier said than done sadly. Feelings are a quagmire

Never said it was easy for everyone,however it is probably the best thing to do :P

[Body odah Man]

@^
Yeah, guess ur right

[PinkFloyd]

I've never dealt with this, but my good friend has and I can tell it's not easy.

[liptonlee]

You sure it isn't just lust?

But if it's a crush that's been going on for a few months,you need to reevaluate your current relationship on where it's heading. Your girl definitely doesn't need to be in a relationship if you're half assed and confused about your feelings for her,and you don't deserve to be in the relationship for the same reasons. Don't mean to sound rude,but you just need to be clear about your feelings.

definitely not lust, my gf is way hotter than my crush
i got this crush coz gf started to ignore my feelings all of a sudden and seems to fail to support me emotionally when im going thru difficult stuff, but the crush can! so it somehow takesover her role....
i agree, but it's not like you can draw a clean cut line immediately...

[Saint]

definitely not lust, my gf is way hotter than my crush
i got this crush coz gf started to ignore my feelings all of a sudden and seems to fail to support me emotionally when im going thru difficult stuff, but the crush can! so it somehow takesover her role....
i agree, but it's not like you can draw a clean cut line immediately...

Ah,that's understandable. See,you messed up when you were getting too comfortable with your crush on talking about your feelings with her,instead of trying to converse with your girlfriend. that's just a way of enabling yourself to even get a crush on her because of the emotional contentment that you received by talking to her.especially during a tough time because that's when you're most impressionable. I don't blame you though,it's just how it works. But still,I stick with my previous response on you needing to be sure of your feelings,because that's really all to it. Just give yourself time to think about it :)

[DiamondsGirl]

definitely not lust, my gf is way hotter than my crush
i got this crush coz gf started to ignore my feelings all of a sudden and seems to fail to support me emotionally when im going thru difficult stuff, but the crush can! so it somehow takesover her role....
i agree, but it's not like you can draw a clean cut line immediately...

((please note that I'm very pragmatic when it comes down to relationships and tend to pick my brain over my heart. I'm not saying I don't know how hard it must be for you. I'm not trying to be mean, I am saying this in the clearest most blatant way possible so that there would be no ambiguation))

If your girlfriend is starting to show signs of getting bored with you, then I guess you should just wait and see. If your guts are right and she really doesn't care about your feelings no more, she's gonna walk away soon anyways. Then you can be with your crush, if that's what you want. Like I said in situations like this, listen to Johnny Depp.

[liptonlee]

((please note that I'm very pragmatic when it comes down to relationships and tend to pick my brain over my heart. I'm not saying I don't know how hard it must be for you. I'm not trying to be mean, I am saying this in the clearest most blatant way possible so that there would be no ambiguation))

If your girlfriend is starting to show signs of getting bored with you, then I guess you should just wait and see. If your guts are right and she really doesn't care about your feelings no more, she's gonna walk away soon anyways. Then you can be with your crush, if that's what you want. Like I said in situations like this, listen to Johnny Depp.

Ah,that's understandable. See,you messed up when you were getting too comfortable with your crush on talking about your feelings with her,instead of trying to converse with your girlfriend. that's just a way of enabling yourself to even get a crush on her because of the emotional contentment that you received by talking to her.especially during a tough time because that's when you're most impressionable. I don't blame you though,it's just how it works. But still,I stick with my previous response on you needing to be sure of your feelings,because that's really all to it. Just give yourself time to think about it :)

thanks guys for the opinion and advice hmm
im somewhat afraid of the stigma i get if i jump to my crush and dump my gf since we are all in the same social circle. do i ever get to explain how the crush is the one who really shares my feelings...
well im a jerk like this, but i guess nobody wants to be called a jerk lol

[conker0118]

break up with the person your attached to and ask the other person out

[DiamondsGirl]

thanks guys for the opinion and advice hmm
im somewhat afraid of the stigma i get if i jump to my crush and dump my gf since we are all in the same social circle. do i ever get to explain how the crush is the one who really shares my feelings...
well im a jerk like this, but i guess nobody wants to be called a jerk lol

trust me when you're in a multi gender social circle, things like this happen very often. More often than you think. More often than not, they would continue being friends despite the arising romantic situations. If your girlfriend REALLY does not "care" about you anymore, believe me she won't mind.