Does this Count?

[WyattR972]

I don't know if this counts as abuse or maybe just regular problems with parents but here it goes.

I have issues with my Mom and privacy. She is always doing stuff to catch me naked or, or telling me that I shouldn't be ashamed of being naked or anything. She tries to talk to me about stuff regarding puberty, which I'm sure is fine, but she can be a little too personal sometimes.

One time, I was telling her that she should respect my privacy a little more and knock instead of just walking into my bedroom unannounced. She responded by taking the door to my bedroom. Even worse, I share a room with my little brother so he was mad because now we didn't have a door and my mom told him to "thank me"

I don't know what to do, my parents are divorced and I'm too shy to talk to my dad about it, and Mom always gets mad when I bring anything up. I have read some posts on reddit about narcissist parents. Could my mom be one?

[Second Chance]

I don't know if this counts as abuse or maybe just regular problems with parents but here it goes.

I have issues with my Mom and privacy. She is always doing stuff to catch me naked or, or telling me that I shouldn't be ashamed of being naked or anything. She tries to talk to me about stuff regarding puberty, which I'm sure is fine, but she can be a little too personal sometimes.

One time, I was telling her that she should respect my privacy a little more and knock instead of just walking into my bedroom unannounced. She responded by taking the door to my bedroom. Even worse, I share a room with my little brother so he was mad because now we didn't have a door and my mom told him to "thank me"

I don't know what to do, my parents are divorced and I'm too shy to talk to my dad about it, and Mom always gets mad when I bring anything up. I have read some posts on reddit about narcissist parents. Could my mom be one?

This is really odd, and I am thinking that your Mother is a little too interested in your puberty and wanting to know what is happening to your body. The fact that she would remove the door to your bedroom is way too much, and she should not have done that because teenagers need their privacy.

As for your Mother being a narcissist, that is hard to say just based on this. I think you have a really controlling parent who is having a hard time dealing with the fact that her kid is no longer a little boy and is slowly becoming a man. It seems like the one other man in her life left her (your parents getting divorced), and maybe she thinks once you become a man you will not need her?

I do not want to go into psychoanalyzing your Mother at this point because I think she is getting a little too close for comfort. What I would suggest are the following:

1. Thank your Mother for willing to be a resource person for you with puberty. If you have any girl questions, then you can humor her by pretending you need her advice. Hopefully, questions about periods and those kinds of things will scare her off.

2. If your Mother is trying to see you naked, then you should tell her that you feel uncomfortable with that.

3. You absolutely need to tell your Father what you have told us because someone has to be on your side since your Mother is being unreasonable.

4. Ask your Mother nicely if you can have your door back since you feel like a fish in a bowl not having one.

When you say that your Mother is being a little "too personal," then what do you mean by that?

There could be a chance your parents' divorce could have really messed with your Mother's mind especially if it was recent. You should not have to suffer in silence, and talk to your Father or a trusted adult about this situation because every child needs to feel safe at home.

[WyattR972]

I have tried to talk to Mom about more privacy but thats what lead to her taking the door away to our room. It happened after we got in an argument about it. I started by telling her that I wish she would knock or something instead of just walking into my bedroom or the bathroom. She responded by saying she's my mom and has seen it all before, and it's "just a penis, don't be so uptight."

What I mean by her being too personal is some of the puberty related questions and comments. She has asked my if I am a virgin, she also asked if I could cum once. Also since she sees me naked she has made comments on my development before too. This doesn't happen every day, or every time that she sees me naked or in my underwear, but it does happen often enough that it's annoying.

[ska8er]

I would talk to your Dad and tell him that your
Mom is getting a little bit too personal now that
you have started puberty. If you are shy you can
avoid talking about masturbation but just say she
is getting a bit too close for comfort. You do not
have any privacy. I think he will get the message.

She is acting weird and you have to talk it over
with someone that you are close to other than her.
If she is doing this with you think about your little
brother once he gets to be your age.

[WyattR972]

My dads been depressed a lot since the divorce. I’m worried if I tell him that he will feel worse or something. Or he would have a fight with my mom about it. If they did that I feel like it would bring more attention to the stuff she is saying, or that she might say more stuff to me.

[ska8er]

My dads been depressed a lot since the divorce. I’m worried if I tell him that he will feel worse or something. Or he would have a fight with my mom about it. If they did that I feel like it would bring more attention to the stuff she is saying, or that she might say more stuff to me.

Well Wyatt you have to talk to someone and your
Dad is the best bet. If it gets worse then you will
have no other course.

[WyattR972]

I know I need to talk to someone I’m just a little scared it will cause a huge issue for everyone. Or that maybe she will eventually calm down if I just ignore it or go along with it. Maybe if I just answer all her questions and just accept it she will get over it?

[abcdeqwe]

I’d say that’s borderline abusive

[ska8er]

I know I need to talk to someone I’m just a little scared it will cause a huge issue for everyone. Or that maybe she will eventually calm down if I just ignore it or go along with it. Maybe if I just answer all her questions and just accept it she will get over it?

Wyatt I would keep in mind that it wouldnt lead
to sexual abuse. I dont say that this is what you
are going through. Your Mom is probably going
through a lot with the problems with your Dad
and maybe she is doing this stuff as sort of
some mental thing. I would keep an eye on
your brother if she begins the same with him.

[WyattR972]

Do you think this could also be considered sexual abuse? I was wondering if it could be because of the types of questions she is asking. Especially like asking if I could cum yet. She hasn’t touched me or my brother, but she doesn’t hide the fact that she looks. And also makes comments based on what she sees.

[ska8er]

Do you think this could also be considered sexual abuse? I was wondering if it could be because of the types of questions she is asking. Especially like asking if I could cum yet. She hasn’t touched me or my brother, but she doesn’t hide the fact that she looks. And also makes comments based on what she sees.

I wouldnt say it is sexual abuse but maybe it
may lead to it. Does she find this amusing or
acts like she finds it bad behavior and just
wants to see if you are doing some evil.
You can answer her questions but I cant see
a Mom asking a son if he cums and is so
concerned in watching what you do.

Talk to your Dad and say you need your
privacy and you are not getting it at home.
Thats all you have to say for now. I think he
will know why.

[Second Chance]

I have tried to talk to Mom about more privacy but thats what lead to her taking the door away to our room. It happened after we got in an argument about it. I started by telling her that I wish she would knock or something instead of just walking into my bedroom or the bathroom. She responded by saying she's my mom and has seen it all before, and it's "just a penis, don't be so uptight."

This is really pretty wrong, and the fact that your Mother wants to see you naked clearly shows that something is really off about her. Has your Mother ever asked you personal questions about this kind of stuff before, or has this just started once you started puberty?

The fact that your Mother has removed your door and is more or less asking to see you naked has crossed a major line, and this is not normal by any stretch of the imagination.

What I mean by her being too personal is some of the puberty related questions and comments. She has asked my if I am a virgin, she also asked if I could cum once. Also since she sees me naked she has made comments on my development before too. This doesn't happen every day, or every time that she sees me naked or in my underwear, but it does happen often enough that it's annoying.

While it is not abnormal for parents to make casual comments about development the fact that your Mother wants to know whether or not you can cum is way too personal. If she had asked you to cum in front of her, then that is definitely sexual abuse plain and simple because no parent needs to see that.

The virgin question is not necessarily out of bounds, but the way she is asking the question makes me wonder.

The fact that your Mother conveniently sees you in your underwear or naked is not right, and she has to give you privacy. Does your Mother go around not dressed or acting inappropriately for an adult in front of a child?

My dads been depressed a lot since the divorce. I’m worried if I tell him that he will feel worse or something. Or he would have a fight with my mom about it. If they did that I feel like it would bring more attention to the stuff she is saying, or that she might say more stuff to me.

I totally agree with the others that your Father is your best bet at this point. Depressed or not your Father has to help you since he is responsible for you. This could start a fight, but the fact that your Mother is really way too interested in your puberty and your body is really scary. No normal parent acts like that, and there is something very wrong with your Mother for her to do the things that she is doing.

I know that this is scary approaching your Father, but he is still your parent who has an obligation to help you when you are in trouble.

I know I need to talk to someone I’m just a little scared it will cause a huge issue for everyone. Or that maybe she will eventually calm down if I just ignore it or go along with it. Maybe if I just answer all her questions and just accept it she will get over it?

Can you tell your Mother that her questions are making you feel uncomfortable? My concern is that if you answer her questions, then that might be like feeding the beast with her only wanting to know more and more things about you.

You are a person of value, and your gut instincts are correct that something is really not right about this situation. You have done nothing wrongly or to deserve this treatment, and do not feel that this will cause an issue. Your Mother is the one with issues at this point, and she might need some help because she could not be right mentally. What you are describing is not what a normal mother would be interested in finding out about their child.

If talking to your parents is not possible, then talk to a school counselor, even if it is digitally, to get help. Otherwise, if you have a trusted relative nearby such as a grandparent or uncle or aunt, then see if they can help you.

The point here is that you are not alone, and there are a lot of resources out there to help you. You do not need to suffer alone.

Do you think this could also be considered sexual abuse? I was wondering if it could be because of the types of questions she is asking. Especially like asking if I could cum yet. She hasn’t touched me or my brother, but she doesn’t hide the fact that she looks. And also makes comments based on what she sees.

This is a tough question, and I will not lie that I know the answer. Your Mother can act like this was simply her prerogative as a Mother to know what is going on with your life and that she is simply a caring mother who wants to understand her boys. However, I believe your Mother's behavior is sinister, and I trust your instincts that something is definitely not right here. You have to talk to someone whether it is your Father, your school counselor, a trusted relative, a responsible adult, a member of the clergy, or even social services if your Mother is getting weirder and weirder.

It is the hardest thing in the world to recognize that a parent is not perfect or when said parent acts inappropriately. Without knowing your Mother none of us have any way to know why she is doing what she is. However, what she is doing is not proper, and I think she has a major mental problem to be really interested in your development. Your feelings are valid, and talk to someone responsible because you do not deserve what is happening to you.

I am not sure how your Mother was like before, but assuming that she was a relatively normal mother before her divorce and now is suddenly acting like this, then she could have been badly messed up by the split. Like someone else above had mentioned, telling your Father about this is important since he might know something about your Mother's interests which might have led to their divorce. Something is really not right with your Mother, and I am really confused on why she is so determined to see you naked and how developed you are? There could be a chance your Mother is a control freak and cannot handle your growing up, or she is threatened by men in general as opposed to boys. At this stage none of us know the "why," but there is no question you have to figure out what to do now by working with responsible people around you. This will make waves, but the other option is to not have a door on your bedroom and for your Mother to watch you in ways that no parent should do so. You deserve to feel safe at home, and what is happening to you is not proper at all.

[WyattR972]

I do have a cousin that I am sort of close to that I could talk to, but aunts and uncles are not really close. Or I wouldn’t feel comfortable talking to them about it. Telling her that the questions make me uncomfortable has caused her to act annoyed with me or even get mad. When she first noticed me getting pubes seems to be when this all started. Or at least when it started getting more personal and uncomfortable.

She will also be naked around us. Usually just topless. But she leaves the door open to her bedroom when she is changing so if we walk by we can see. Same with her getting in and out of the shower. The door is wide open so if I walk by I can see everything.

[AmyChloe]

It’s abusive

And a bit perverted

[Second Chance]

I do have a cousin that I am sort of close to that I could talk to, but aunts and uncles are not really close. Or I wouldn’t feel comfortable talking to them about it. Telling her that the questions make me uncomfortable has caused her to act annoyed with me or even get mad. When she first noticed me getting pubes seems to be when this all started. Or at least when it started getting more personal and uncomfortable.

She will also be naked around us. Usually just topless. But she leaves the door open to her bedroom when she is changing so if we walk by we can see. Same with her getting in and out of the shower. The door is wide open so if I walk by I can see everything.

You seem like a pretty intelligent person, and you clearly know without any of us telling you that what your Mother is doing is beyond abnormal but is downright wrong. I am not getting a sense that you come from a family of nudists, and it seems like all this has started up around the time you started developing.

I want to make clear that being in puberty or growing is not your fault or a problem. You are a completely normal boy, and you are going through changes like the rest of us have. Being in puberty is not a bad thing, and do not feel badly if you are ejaculating, have hair, or are getting bigger than you were. All because your Mother seems to take a fascination in those things does not mean there is anything wrong with you, and you are fine just the way you are.

If this means anything, I think your Mother has had an underlying problem, and for whatever reason it seems like young guys seem to trigger something in her. The issue is not with you or your puberty but entirely with your Mother which you need to understand. All because she has a fetish for puberty or young guys does not mean there is anything wrong with you.

At this stage you are going to have to make a choice: continue with the way things are and allow your Mother to behave inappropriately, or you will have to do something about it. Is your Father a good person, and can he help, or is he as bad as your Mother? If your Father is a good person and is otherwise stable, then you need to go to him with your concerns since he is an adult and can do something. If your Father is stable financially, then I would say that you and your sibling(s) should stay with him since your Mother is not well mentally. If your Father is not at all well and is as bad as your Mother, then this is an issue that might require the attention of child protective services. I know that is a big thing I am saying, but if your Mother is aggressively trying to see you naked and is showing herself off to you guys and has taken away your ability to have privacy that is completely wrong and is abuse. Granted, your Mother is probably providing for your needs and most likely loves you, but her not providing a safe home environment and openly flaunting her naked body to you when you clearly do not like it has crossed multiple lines. You have a right to your body, and no one should force you to be naked in front of them including a parent.

You have tried your best to talk with your Mother, and it is a shame she will not listen. It is almost like she is regressing to becoming a teenager which is not normal for a full grown adult. I think what you can do are the following:

1. Talk to your Father and see if you can get pulled out of where you are.
2. Talk to a counselor at school, even if it is by e-mail or a virtual visit, to see if you can get help that way.
3. Call the child protective services in your area to report this behavior.

Your Mother will no doubt get furious and will make a big fuss. However, the person with the problem is not you but her which she needs to understand. I cannot think of any circumstance where it is normal for a parent to do what your Mother is doing. Your Mother might genuinely need some professional help, and there is no shame for that. I hope that she has not been doing this around anyone else or other boys your age.

Do not get discouraged, and know that you have done nothing wrong and that there is nothing wrong with you for being in puberty.

[SouthernDude]

OP was banned :locked: