I really don't care anymore.

[musicalguy]

I honestly just don't care what people think because they all fucking hate already. One of my "friends" have been blackmailing for the past year about something that would cause all my friends to hate me. I used get so stressed whenever they bloody mentioned it every single time i did something they didn't like that everyone will hate me. But now i have basically no friends ( i still hang out with them but cant talk to them without dying of anxiety) and it's all my fault they all just don't care about me so now i don't care if they expose me to them and i can always just kill myself and i honestly think they really wouldn't care that much. I'm not looking for support or anything i just wanted to say this to someone and VT was a bunch a people who don't know me so yea.

[ska8er]

Well I know you casually and I think you
are a Cool down to earth guy. Im sure
what you did or say is not a conclusion
to kill yourself. If this "friend" is holding
this against you and its causing a lot of
anxiety the only way to let go of this is to
open up to your friends and tell them what
is happening. Then your "friend" will not have
this thing over your head. IDK what you have
done but im sure u have some friends that if u
open up you will have some allies that are on
your side. PM me if you wish but give me a
little time to get back to you. Brodie its not
the end of the world. Be strong and let time
heal itself.

[BJade]

Ska8er is right what ever you did it's not something to kill yourself for. I'm sure if you're friends really are friends and you talk to them they can understand, it will take the worry of what you did off your shoulders. And there are plenty of people on here I'm sure see you as a friend so you aren't alone in the world
X

[Second Chance]

I honestly just don't care what people think because they all fucking hate already. One of my "friends" have been blackmailing for the past year about something that would cause all my friends to hate me. I used get so stressed whenever they bloody mentioned it every single time i did something they didn't like that everyone will hate me. But now i have basically no friends ( i still hang out with them but cant talk to them without dying of anxiety) and it's all my fault they all just don't care about me so now i don't care if they expose me to them and i can always just kill myself and i honestly think they really wouldn't care that much. I'm not looking for support or anything i just wanted to say this to someone and VT was a bunch a people who don't know me so yea.

You have mentioned that this is more of a vent thread which is something I respect, and I will keep my comments as brief as possible.

As for the person blackmailing you, the fact of the matter is that he/she is not your friend. Short of your killing someone I am sure whatever you did is something that can be overcome in time. I am not diminishing what had happened or a potential negative reaction to it, but in the end of the day if there is genuine remorse for an issue people can be rehabilitated. Anyone who is using information to control you and isolate you is clearly wrong and is messing with your mind which you are smart enough to understand.

If whatever information out there will cause you to lose friends the reality is that they were probably not your friends in the first place. What counts most is that you are surrounded by quality people than a quantity of them. If you honestly do not like the people around you right now, then you are not losing anything if they leave you. Obviously, it sucks to be lonely, but chances are some friends will stick with you. You really would be surprised who out there can be dependable.

If someone has a level of control of you to the point that you are going between life and death, then the problem is with that person and not with you. If there is anyone responsible you can talk with about whatever is being held over your head, then it would be best. It looks like you are from Australia, and you should make use of lifeline in your country: https://www.lifeline.org.au/

You are right that we are a bunch of people on here who do not know you personally, but you are wrong if you believe that people on here would not care.

We can only encourage you and help build you up, but it is up to you to believe that and act in a positive way.

[musicalguy]

Just to clarify the thing i did was not an illegal thing or anything like that just something some people might think is weird

[Second Chance]

Just to clarify the thing i did was not an illegal thing or anything like that just something some people might think is weird

Weird is very relative, and people can be very forgiving. Look at all those Hollywood actors who do bizarre things but always seem to bounce back.

Personally, I would tell the blackmailer that you do not care anymore and you are moving forward with life. You will probably have some turbulence at first, and you might even lose some friends. However, it is always best to live life standing than to be kneeling in front of someone. You do not deserve that kind of life, and hurting yourself is not a solution.

At least people on here are supportive, and I am sure you can sound things out on here to get perspective. What incentive do we have to hurt you?

Stay safe, and my hope is that you can talk things out. If you are really hurting, then contact the telephone number listed above and get help. You may think hurting yourself may not matter, but there are others who will be affected if something happens to you. They deserve the chance to at least try to help before you take away that opportunity unilaterally. You do not want to mess up a bunch of people by doing something to hurt yourself.

If it means anything, the fact that you are bringing this up shows you know it is not right, and you seem smart enough to know that you can work through this.