Azanama
April 6th, 2014, 11:22 PM
Throughout my whole life, I have always loved hanging out with girls. Even when I was a small child I hung out with girls a ton because I was used to hanging around my sister. Later I started developing feelings for girls and at first (around middle school) there were plenty of girls that liked me. One girl I was good friends with in 6th grade started following me around and after somewhat confessing she smiled and a couple days later she moved to Seattle. Another girl in 6th grade walked with me sometimes to orchestra and later she stopped walking with me because I couldn't tell from the hints ( sad ). Later in eighth grade a girl confessed to me straight up and since I knew her well from math I said yes: a week later school ended and she went to a different high school. Then in 9th grade another girl liked me and somewhat confessed but later "changed her mind" and decided to insult me by comparing me to some macho latino through a text message with some of her fellow friends. Now there aren't any girls who could even be considered friends and all of the other girls hate me for some unknown reason or for no reason at all.
My search for love has been a rough one. I'm not short, I don't think I'm ugly (heck maybe I am) and I try to be the nicest guy in the crowd. Why can't I just have someone to lean on to support me? I'm not some guy that searches the crowd and thinks with his d*** like almost every other guy I know, but I'm not an innocent angel either. I'm mainly serious or nervous inside but I try to be funny and I easily smile or laugh at funny things. I'm not close to my parents at all due to some traumatic things I've endured and the only person close to me, my sister, is in a college four hours away. I take all pre-AP and AP classes but I'm not conceited about it and find it somewhat hard or irritating. I think about suicide almost everyday but I doubt I'll ever find the strength to go the easy way out of life, mainly because I'm scared (yes I admit it) about the concept of not existing.
The ideal girl that I dream about nowadays is someone who is caring, nice, but extremely aggressive in the relationship. I care very little about looks and anything above average is in my mind just considered extra. If I lived in a relationship like this I could easily take care of school and have my mind on someone to care about. Feeling alone hurts. Reply however you want, anything helps.
My search for love has been a rough one. I'm not short, I don't think I'm ugly (heck maybe I am) and I try to be the nicest guy in the crowd. Why can't I just have someone to lean on to support me? I'm not some guy that searches the crowd and thinks with his d*** like almost every other guy I know, but I'm not an innocent angel either. I'm mainly serious or nervous inside but I try to be funny and I easily smile or laugh at funny things. I'm not close to my parents at all due to some traumatic things I've endured and the only person close to me, my sister, is in a college four hours away. I take all pre-AP and AP classes but I'm not conceited about it and find it somewhat hard or irritating. I think about suicide almost everyday but I doubt I'll ever find the strength to go the easy way out of life, mainly because I'm scared (yes I admit it) about the concept of not existing.
The ideal girl that I dream about nowadays is someone who is caring, nice, but extremely aggressive in the relationship. I care very little about looks and anything above average is in my mind just considered extra. If I lived in a relationship like this I could easily take care of school and have my mind on someone to care about. Feeling alone hurts. Reply however you want, anything helps.