Cousin

[Jacobaa]

Today is the anniversary of my cousin dying. He was about a month younger than me and he was basically my only cousin in america so we were bestfriends since we were babies. I visit him alot as the place he was buried is close to my school and alot of the time I do school work there when we actually have school but I havent been able to go as much lately and I have felt really bad. I always feel like im the one out of the two of us that should have died because he was always a better person than me and he was smarter and not so bizarre like me. Even though we were around 8 when he died im not really sure how to deal with it. I know my aunt and uncle have it alot worse but most of the time I feel like my family would have been better off if we had switched places. I guess im not really looking for replies just nice to have somewhere to get it out of my head.

[Pultost]

No one should go that early. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[xols]

I'm glad you felt comfortable sharing that with us.

You said you didn't really want replies, so I'll keep mine short.

The way you feel about yourself, which affect how you feel about your cousin's young death, is not healthy. I do hope you look into talking to a professional about this. As I read your post, I was sad to read about your cousin, but also sad to read about how you view yourself.

I'm very sorry for your loss and the pain you're experiencing.
I hope you take care of yourself.

[ska8er]

Sorry for your loss-You can talk how much
you want to Jake.

[Katy_]

Today is the anniversary of my cousin dying. He was about a month younger than me and he was basically my only cousin in america so we were bestfriends since we were babies. I visit him alot as the place he was buried is close to my school and alot of the time I do school work there when we actually have school but I havent been able to go as much lately and I have felt really bad. I always feel like im the one out of the two of us that should have died because he was always a better person than me and he was smarter and not so bizarre like me. Even though we were around 8 when he died im not really sure how to deal with it. I know my aunt and uncle have it alot worse but most of the time I feel like my family would have been better off if we had switched places. I guess im not really looking for replies just nice to have somewhere to get it out of my head.


I’m sorry for your loss
You’re meant to be here
Live and share it with him acknowledging him as you go

[Jacobaa]

No one should go that early. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm glad you felt comfortable sharing that with us.

You said you didn't really want replies, so I'll keep mine short.

The way you feel about yourself, which affect how you feel about your cousin's young death, is not healthy. I do hope you look into talking to a professional about this. As I read your post, I was sad to read about your cousin, but also sad to read about how you view yourself.

I'm very sorry for your loss and the pain you're experiencing.
I hope you take care of yourself.

Sorry for your loss-You can talk how much
you want to Jake.

I’m sorry for your loss
You’re meant to be here
Live and share it with him acknowledging him as you go


Thank you all ❤

[Second Chance]

Today is the anniversary of my cousin dying. He was about a month younger than me and he was basically my only cousin in america so we were bestfriends since we were babies. I visit him alot as the place he was buried is close to my school and alot of the time I do school work there when we actually have school but I havent been able to go as much lately and I have felt really bad. I always feel like im the one out of the two of us that should have died because he was always a better person than me and he was smarter and not so bizarre like me. Even though we were around 8 when he died im not really sure how to deal with it. I know my aunt and uncle have it alot worse but most of the time I feel like my family would have been better off if we had switched places. I guess im not really looking for replies just nice to have somewhere to get it out of my head.

Since you are not really looking for replies I will keep my words brief.

Survivor's guilt can be the worst, but the reality is that we have no control over who lives and who dies. Especially with your cousin dying so young it is traumatic for many especially his parents as you have mentioned. I would not focus on why you have lived and he has died but rather look at what you have learned from your cousin and use that to make your life the better. Clearly, you must mean a lot to your parents, and the thought of your not being around would be absolutely terrible for them as well as your friends.

At least you visit your cousin's grave which is very nice, and even if you are not visiting it regularly at least you still do so as often as you can. For a lot of people the only time they go to a grave is for the funeral and then not return to the grave. At least you are visiting the grave and paying your respects.

It can be tough when you lose not just a cousin but someone your age who could have been a playmate and friend. Based upon your words that you both were raised together I am sure it still hurts not having him around. I do not know what can be said about the void other than the fact that at least you had someone growing up which is more than what most people have.

If you are close to your Uncle and Aunt who were the parents of your late cousin, then visiting them here and there would probably be good for everyone so that you all can heal together. Especially with your having been the same age as their late son having you around could let them know that their son is not forgotten.

[Just JT]

Second Chance gives. A lot of great advice. It’s solid advice. Grief and loss is hard for people, one of the worst feeling you can have. I’ve had plenty of it myself with death, and don’t want any more

The thing is although you may feel it should of been you instead of him, sorry, your wrong. People die for all kinds of reasons, and there’s no reason why. It’s just their time is all. One day it’ll be all of our times.

Just be happy you had him as a friend and can still have a private place you can go and spend time with him alone. Time will pass, it’ll get easier, a lot of time. You’ll prolly never forget him and always miss him, that’s just the way it is. But it’ll get easier

Talking about it helps

[Jacobaa]

Since you are not really looking for replies I will keep my words brief.

Survivor's guilt can be the worst, but the reality is that we have no control over who lives and who dies. Especially with your cousin dying so young it is traumatic for many especially his parents as you have mentioned. I would not focus on why you have lived and he has died but rather look at what you have learned from your cousin and use that to make your life the better. Clearly, you must mean a lot to your parents, and the thought of your not being around would be absolutely terrible for them as well as your friends.

At least you visit your cousin's grave which is very nice, and even if you are not visiting it regularly at least you still do so as often as you can. For a lot of people the only time they go to a grave is for the funeral and then not return to the grave. At least you are visiting the grave and paying your respects.

It can be tough when you lose not just a cousin but someone your age who could have been a playmate and friend. Based upon your words that you both were raised together I am sure it still hurts not having him around. I do not know what can be said about the void other than the fact that at least you had someone growing up which is more than what most people have.

If you are close to your Uncle and Aunt who were the parents of your late cousin, then visiting them here and there would probably be good for everyone so that you all can heal together. Especially with your having been the same age as their late son having you around could let them know that their son is not forgotten.

Second Chance gives. A lot of great advice. It’s solid advice. Grief and loss is hard for people, one of the worst feeling you can have. I’ve had plenty of it myself with death, and don’t want any more

The thing is although you may feel it should of been you instead of him, sorry, your wrong. People die for all kinds of reasons, and there’s no reason why. It’s just their time is all. One day it’ll be all of our times.

Just be happy you had him as a friend and can still have a private place you can go and spend time with him alone. Time will pass, it’ll get easier, a lot of time. You’ll prolly never forget him and always miss him, that’s just the way it is. But it’ll get easier

Talking about it helps

Thank you for the replies. I know I said i didnt want any but theyve been very helpful. I just have problens with talking about feelings is all. You all are very kind

[Just JT]

Jacobaa that’s what makes a place like this pretty good. You can express yourself within a good community, and get some support, without feeling threatened by letting your guard down. Because nobody knows who you are.

[pahern0317]

My goodness and so sad.

[Phoebe_]

That’s so sad I’m so sorry for you :(