depresso still

[BunniBoi]

so to those who remember me (probably not) would probably know that I've had depression since before this acct was created, so can untreated depression take a toll on someone?

(edit:) also it's just mindblowing how much my life went downhill since my last post, I'm 19 in my grandmother's house, I dropped out of high school due to fucking taking care of my gran, and because of being isolated I lost contact with my "friends", during that isolation my brother became a druggie and abandoned his GF and my nephew then he went to jail twice I believe, they moved back to their hometown, then my aunt came home to take care of gran way better than what I was doing, then they expect me to be a fully functional human being as if I haven't lost contact with my entire social life and been "alone" for the past 4 years and constantly threatened to be kicked out on my own and that I'm just like my brother and I might have ADHD, granted I haven't been the best person I could be it just feels so hard to go out and interact with the world and make myself appointments and do things around the house. Everything just feels so hard....maybe I am just a lazy fuckwad who's not worth a life but since I'm too much a coward to kill myself I hope I'm out doing something and my black ass gets killed by a cop what a way to go

[ska8er]

Dont do anything or anticipate something stupid to happen.
If you are not working strive to look for a job so you can be
self serving taking care of yourself. If you dont have means
get in touch with an agency that might steer you to a doctor
who might be able to help you get through this.

[HighVamp913]

so to those who remember me (probably not) would probably know that I've had depression since before this acct was created, so can untreated depression take a toll on someone?

(edit:) also it's just mindblowing how much my life went downhill since my last post, I'm 19 in my grandmother's house, I dropped out of high school due to fucking taking care of my gran, and because of being isolated I lost contact with my "friends", during that isolation my brother became a druggie and abandoned his GF and my nephew then he went to jail twice I believe, they moved back to their hometown, then my aunt came home to take care of gran way better than what I was doing, then they expect me to be a fully functional human being as if I haven't lost contact with my entire social life and been "alone" for the past 4 years and constantly threatened to be kicked out on my own and that I'm just like my brother and I might have ADHD, granted I haven't been the best person I could be it just feels so hard to go out and interact with the world and make myself appointments and do things around the house. Everything just feels so hard....maybe I am just a lazy fuckwad who's not worth a life but since I'm too much a coward to kill myself I hope I'm out doing something and my black ass gets killed by a cop what a way to go
First off let's start with me saying IM NOT A DOCTOR. All I have are my PERSONAL experiences, my psychology+sociology class, and the INTERNET
I have had the same thoughts you are having. I get where you are coming from. You feel like there isn't anything you can do to please them. That you're not good enough. I understand how it can be hard to make appointments. You may feel like there is no point, but you gotta keep your head up. No you aren't lazy. Lack of motivation and low energy are common with depression. Don't even think about getting shot.
The ADHD bit. I have ADHD and it doesn't mix too well with depression. Your mind is naturally on overdrive with ADHD. Especially when you find something that interests you. Careful tho, cause when you're having a bad day your ADHD doesn't stop. You may be laying in bed, but your mind is still going. Think of it like anxiety but without an off switch. With ADHD you think of the good and bad. Plus you are quite impulsive compared to "normal" people. But whatever. {[(Sorry for rambling. I like talking about mental health.) I feel we should be more open about it.] Nothing to be ashamed of}.
Try to see a doctor to get tested.