Dad's girlfriend. Need Help!

[Dalcourt]

This is going to be long, sorry.

A few months ago my father found a new girlfriend. I didn't really like her from the beginning. She has a horrible attitude and outright ignored me from the first day on. (Most of the other women he was dating at least pretended that they acknowledge that he had a kid and said a few friendly words now and then to me)
Not too long ago they decided that she should move in with us, she was thrown out of her old place as she didn't pay the rent as far as I know but anyway, she lives with us now. It was a weird situation for me, none of my Dad's girlfriends has ever lived with us and I really found the thought of a stranger in my place uncomfortable and also told my Dad. He just laughed it off and told me that it will be okay and I would barely notice her at all.

Well, if he referred to her doing something around the house he was right, I guess. Cuz if she's not out with him or her friends she is simply sitting around doing nothing at all. I come home from school and do all the work.

I'm not complaining I'm used to doing most of the housework as my Dad doesn't do it. I come home do some household chores, fix something to eat and then do homework or hang out with my friends. It's okay and I don't want her to clean our house, do the washing or cooking or whatever so that I don't have any work to do now.

But this woman, she's plain lazy. I came home from school the other day late as we had some track and field practice for an upcoming sports event. She asked me what's for dinner when I came in and I shrugged, said I didn't have time to buy groceries and that we could order a pizza maybe. I went to my room cuz I had homework to do. After a while my Dad came home and complained that there was no food and I told him that I had no time for shopping and that I want to finish my homework. Dad's girlfriend took my phone that was lying on the table and threw it at me, shouting I should order a pizza. I shouted at her if she was crazy throwing my phone and called her lazy bitch under my breath as she could have ordered the pizza herself while I was doing my homework. I probably said the b-word too loud and she got in a fit telling my Dad how evil I am...He was then shouting at me and slapping me for being disrespectful to his girlfriend.

Another time I was home and fixing dinner for Saturday, I cooked exactly what Dad wanted. She came in and complained that she doesn't want to eat that shit. I told her fine...she can cook something else then I just made this cuz my father wanted it. She immediately started to complain about how rude I am and annoyed my Dad with it.

And who was shouted at and hurt in the end? Me...I totally hate it. I mean my Dad has some serious anger management problems and always used to be abusive...but I have learned to handle the situation and avoid certain things that make him freak out. With this woman around this has become impossible and she seems to know it and provoke it.

This woman does nothing except having her hair and nails done and try to make my life hell...what have I done to her? I just can't keep calm around her as she makes me so totally mad. And in the end I'm always made the bad guy by her and Dad's mad at me not her...

[MechaSniper]

Tell your father or teach her how to cook.

[radsniper]

that sucks you need a plan to make your father see her for who she really is and he'll hopefully break up with her

[ScottishCanary]

Tell your father or teach her how to cook.

What he said!

Sounds like a right nasty piece of work, sooner she is gone the better.

[Body odah Man]

Are there any helplines you can call or something? Maybe have counseling for you and lazy-bitch? I don't know what else you could do but it seems to be on the verge of domestic abuse (ur home situation)

[DiamondsGirl]

is there any other family members you can live with? that is insanity if I were you, I'd pack my stuffs and leave immediately =\ that's not an advice btw running away is never the best solution

[Stronk Serb]

I would round up my little siblings and annoy her so bad that she at least moves out of the house, but seeing that's not possible, maybe fake something? Like cheating or theft, but it's really hard to do it if he trusts her more then you. Maybe try getting other family members involved. If she is so hungry, why doesn't she learn how to cook or order something herself. And she should work on her terrible manners.

[Ethe14]

Do you have grandparents or aunts or uncles you could talk to? She sounds awful and maybe some of your family could knock some sense into either her or your dad.

[Dalcourt]

Are there any helplines you can call or something? Maybe have counseling for you and lazy-bitch? I don't know what else you could do but it seems to be on the verge of domestic abuse (ur home situation)[/QUOTE

Well, I don't really want to get authorities in any form involved. I guess those thing would mainly get my Dad in trouble. He's on probation and well authorities know that he has a drug problem and we had trouble with the CPS in the past as he was abusing me really badly and I had to stay with foster families and stuff. I'm afraid I'll be back in the system in no time when I try to seek help somewhere...

[QUOTE=DiamondsGirl;2747411]is there any other family members you can live with? that is insanity if I were you, I'd pack my stuffs and leave immediately =\ that's not an advice btw running away is never the best solution

Lol, no I won't run away. And no, I don't think there are any other family members I could live with. My Grandma maybe, but I don't really want to live with her as she moved to Mississippi and I hate this place there and I have an aunt, but I don't know her very well...

So yeah, it's really hard to do something without making things worse. I really dunno why this woman acts like that...now she seems to have set her mind on making my Dad throw my two cats out cuz she doesn't want them around...ah well...

[NeuroTiger]

Running away is not the solution...tell your dad how you feel really.

[DiamondsGirl]

seriously though you can't live in that situation forever D: there MUST be something you can do to get out of this situation.. it's just that I can't find that something right now =\

[Body odah Man]

I agree with Diamonds-this situation is ridiculous and WRONG. You gotta do something

[Dalcourt]

Well, but waiting till I'm old enough to live on my own...I don't really know what to do.

[EddietheZombie]

Sounds like they both need their asses kicked.......

[Left Now]

Such a life you have friend!It's exactly like those horrible "Evil Step-Mothers" stories in 19th century European novels...With the difference that she's not married to your father yet of course.

If I were you,I would try to improve my relations with her or at least decrease her hatred toward myself.Have you ever tried to talk to her herself?Have you ever asked her what she wants from you and why she dislikes you too much?

Maybe a really easy apologizing for calling her a lazy b.... could solve the problem at first.

Anyway If she's really exactly like what you've described her above,then I think you should be serious and manly solve this situation with her and your father.If trying to improve your relations with her and solve your problems quietly didn't have any result,then I only can recommend you two options:

1.Talk to your father and tell him that he has to choose one person between you and his girlfriend.

2.Live your life and deal with its difficulties...

[Snydergate]

Go love with your mom is thats possible or another family member. If thats not possible I would do what I would have done in your situation. Go bat shit on her. I would teach her what being rude really is and be a complete ass to her every day and annoy the shit out of her. I would ignore her and stay in my room whenever she was home or leave the house, and if they tried to come to get you to do something I would call her a cynical asshole and tell her to do it herself.
I went through something a bit similair when my father started dating again after he split up with my mom, whom I live with now.

[DiamondsGirl]

alright forget family. Is there any close friend you can live with?

[Dalcourt]

Such a life you have friend!It's exactly like those horrible "Evil Step-Mothers" stories in 19th century European novels...With the difference that she's not married to your father yet of course.

If I were you,I would try to improve my relations with her or at least decrease her hatred toward myself.Have you ever tried to talk to her herself?Have you ever asked her what she wants from you and why she dislikes you too much?

Maybe a really easy apologizing for calling her a lazy b.... could solve the problem at first.

Anyway If she's really exactly like what you've described her above,then I think you should be serious and manly solve this situation with her and your father.If trying to improve your relations with her and solve your problems quietly didn't have any result,then I only can recommend you two options:

1.Talk to your father and tell him that he has to choose one person between you and his girlfriend.

2.Live your life and deal with its difficulties...

Of course I apologized to her. I usually always try to be respectful and if I freak out and get mad like that I always apologize. I don't want to fight her or anything. I tried to talk about why she acts like that with her and well, she told me that she has nothing against me...I mean I didn't know what to answer then without provoking another argument. Maybe she doesn't do it on purpose...I dunno...

Go love with your mom is thats possible or another family member. If thats not possible I would do what I would have done in your situation. Go bat shit on her. I would teach her what being rude really is and be a complete ass to her every day and annoy the shit out of her. I would ignore her and stay in my room whenever she was home or leave the house, and if they tried to come to get you to do something I would call her a cynical asshole and tell her to do it herself.
I went through something a bit similair when my father started dating again after he split up with my mom, whom I live with now.

I don't feel like provoke them even more. I want some quiet at least now and then...So yeah, I try to be invisible as much as I can staying in my room or at friends' houses...

The only thing I can do is hope that my Dad gets sick of her, soon. He relationships never last very long so that's my only hope at the moment.

[nklarke]

It's a pity tour situation.

I'd evaluate moving with your grandmother even if you don't like the city, I think that's the least important now.

Also, you can put a camera (nowadays are very very cheap) so you record when she's with you and do it a couple of time and when something extreme happened, show it to your father when both of you are alone.

[nothinginhand]

oh dear , why don't you sit down , and talk to her what you think about this mess ... I know it's so difficult for you , but you must do it if you want to fix your breaking HOME .
Talk to her gently , politly , as a younger person talking to an older , and find something common with 2 of you , try to do something together , im sure your sistuation will be better ...
You should also increase the family-comunication
Talking is always a good way to solve problems , and remember to do something together as much as you can
Good luck , dear , i know you can do it
:):):)

[Dalcourt]

oh dear , why don't you sit down , and talk to her what you think about this mess ... I know it's so difficult for you , but you must do it if you want to fix your breaking HOME .
Talk to her gently , politly , as a younger person talking to an older , and find something common with 2 of you , try to do something together , im sure your sistuation will be better ...
You should also increase the family-comunication
Talking is always a good way to solve problems , and remember to do something together as much as you can
Good luck , dear , i know you can do it
:):):)

Thanks for the nice words. You are right I have to try to talk to her. It won't be easy, but I know that's the only choice I have.

[DiamondsGirl]

Thanks for the nice words. You are right I have to try to talk to her. It won't be easy, but I know that's the only choice I have.

and once the talking session is done, would you let us know what comes out of it?

[Dalcourt]

and once the talking session is done, would you let us know what comes out of it?

Well, not much I guess cuz as I suggested talking they were just like wtf why would you make such a fuss outta nothing.

[DiamondsGirl]

=\ that's.... to be expected honestly. Is there really really no one else you can live with? How old are you?