Keenan
April 24th, 2020, 06:33 PM
The old man Wizzers, wearing a blue billowing cloak with a wide scarlet belt and a golden sash over one shoulder, all illuminated by the candle flickering in front of him, bounded up a spiral staircase made of crystal in a wild frenzy. “Madness, I tell you! Absolute madness!” he muttered to himself, as he used the banister with a hand to propel himself up the steps faster. “Surely, the boy has gone mad! Surely! Mad! Stark-raving, I say. Maaad.”
When he reached the top of the staircase, he stopped to clutch his side, as he huffed and puffed for a brief moment. Then he straightened up and charged down a long arching corridor lit by candles on the walls. Far off, two burly soldiers stood against one wall guarding a doorway.
“I must see him at once!” Wizzers cried as he raced up to them. “At once, d’you hear!?” He grounded to a halt in front of the pair, who both stepped forward to intercept him.
“No visitors, Wizzers – not even you – king’s orders,” stated one of the soldiers, without breaking the gaze he held level before him. “Emergencies only,” he added nonchalantly, stealing a glance at Wizzers.
“But this is an emergency!” panted Wizzers, propping himself up with his hands on his knees. He heaved heavily several times.
The soldier watched him curiously for a moment. “You sure?”
Wizzers nodded vehemently as he straightened up, gasping for breath. “Trust me on this one, Dante,” he wheezed, placing a shaky hand on the man’s shoulder. “Trust me, alright?”
The soldier looked him over again carefully, and then finally exclaimed: “Okay then!” He stood up straight, gave a salute, and turned and opened the door.
Wizzers stepped into a spacious room with a roaring fireplace behind a grand desk where a tall and handsome dark bearded man in majestic robes was sitting. High windows let streams of moonlight in, their waves shimmering across the man, desk and walls.
“The boy’s muttering strange things, sire,” Wizzers whispered, bowing at the entrance. “Strange, strange things, sire,” he added, raising his voice a little.
The king looked up from his scroll, as he reclined in his chair very slowly and solemnly.
“He utters nonsense as if he were mad, sire! Come see! Come hear! It’s a terrible fright, sire.”
“My son – mad!?” the king bellowed, letting the scroll fall out of his hands onto the desk with a thud. “Now that’s utter nonsense. Maybe you’ve gone mad, Wizzers?” He shot Wizzers a cold look.
“O great king!” Wizzers wailed, stepping further into the room where he fell to his knees. “Come hear for yourself, sire! The boy rambles gibberish!”
The king roared at him, leaning over his desk and wagging a pointed finger at Wizzers: “My father was a genius! His father was a genius! I am a genius! Madness – what a thing to proclaim!?” The king howled with crude laughter, as he picked up his scroll again and started recoiling it. “Isa – mad!” he muttered under his breath, as he shuttered and shook his head. “Ha!”
“But sire!” pleaded Wizzers fervently now, folding his fingers as if saying a prayer. “You must come see, sire! It’s a horror to behold! A horror, I say!”
“And I say I’ll have no more of it!” thundered the king, leaping to his feet in a furious burst of energy as he tightened his grip on the scroll with both hands. “You hear it!?” He whipped a hand through the air. “Be gone from my sight at once – servant!”
--
The premise of this novel is that there is a prince and princess from different kingdoms that are at odds with each other. There is much strife between the two nations. Now, the prince has been able to speak a strange language ever since he could talk that no one has been able to understand, and he’s been ridiculed for it most of his life.
But when he meets the princess, it turns out she’s the only one who can understand and interpret what the prince says. We discover the source of this language is the Creator, who speaks through both parties to give them guidance for how to bring peace and prosperity to both kingdoms by defeating their enemies and uniting them under a single rule.
But an evil emperor seeks to keep them apart because they’re a major threat to his desire and power to conquer and control as much land as possible, including the two kingdoms.
It’s a tale of star-crossed lovers that may just have you in tears by the end.
I’m looking for thoughts and reactions here, but I’m also looking for two males and two females who are interested in being beta-readers and sharing their responses as I write it and the story unfolds, which will help influence and shape it.
I can't have Beata for a beta-reader/counsellor, so I have to go with my second option. No offense or anything. :)
When he reached the top of the staircase, he stopped to clutch his side, as he huffed and puffed for a brief moment. Then he straightened up and charged down a long arching corridor lit by candles on the walls. Far off, two burly soldiers stood against one wall guarding a doorway.
“I must see him at once!” Wizzers cried as he raced up to them. “At once, d’you hear!?” He grounded to a halt in front of the pair, who both stepped forward to intercept him.
“No visitors, Wizzers – not even you – king’s orders,” stated one of the soldiers, without breaking the gaze he held level before him. “Emergencies only,” he added nonchalantly, stealing a glance at Wizzers.
“But this is an emergency!” panted Wizzers, propping himself up with his hands on his knees. He heaved heavily several times.
The soldier watched him curiously for a moment. “You sure?”
Wizzers nodded vehemently as he straightened up, gasping for breath. “Trust me on this one, Dante,” he wheezed, placing a shaky hand on the man’s shoulder. “Trust me, alright?”
The soldier looked him over again carefully, and then finally exclaimed: “Okay then!” He stood up straight, gave a salute, and turned and opened the door.
Wizzers stepped into a spacious room with a roaring fireplace behind a grand desk where a tall and handsome dark bearded man in majestic robes was sitting. High windows let streams of moonlight in, their waves shimmering across the man, desk and walls.
“The boy’s muttering strange things, sire,” Wizzers whispered, bowing at the entrance. “Strange, strange things, sire,” he added, raising his voice a little.
The king looked up from his scroll, as he reclined in his chair very slowly and solemnly.
“He utters nonsense as if he were mad, sire! Come see! Come hear! It’s a terrible fright, sire.”
“My son – mad!?” the king bellowed, letting the scroll fall out of his hands onto the desk with a thud. “Now that’s utter nonsense. Maybe you’ve gone mad, Wizzers?” He shot Wizzers a cold look.
“O great king!” Wizzers wailed, stepping further into the room where he fell to his knees. “Come hear for yourself, sire! The boy rambles gibberish!”
The king roared at him, leaning over his desk and wagging a pointed finger at Wizzers: “My father was a genius! His father was a genius! I am a genius! Madness – what a thing to proclaim!?” The king howled with crude laughter, as he picked up his scroll again and started recoiling it. “Isa – mad!” he muttered under his breath, as he shuttered and shook his head. “Ha!”
“But sire!” pleaded Wizzers fervently now, folding his fingers as if saying a prayer. “You must come see, sire! It’s a horror to behold! A horror, I say!”
“And I say I’ll have no more of it!” thundered the king, leaping to his feet in a furious burst of energy as he tightened his grip on the scroll with both hands. “You hear it!?” He whipped a hand through the air. “Be gone from my sight at once – servant!”
--
The premise of this novel is that there is a prince and princess from different kingdoms that are at odds with each other. There is much strife between the two nations. Now, the prince has been able to speak a strange language ever since he could talk that no one has been able to understand, and he’s been ridiculed for it most of his life.
But when he meets the princess, it turns out she’s the only one who can understand and interpret what the prince says. We discover the source of this language is the Creator, who speaks through both parties to give them guidance for how to bring peace and prosperity to both kingdoms by defeating their enemies and uniting them under a single rule.
But an evil emperor seeks to keep them apart because they’re a major threat to his desire and power to conquer and control as much land as possible, including the two kingdoms.
It’s a tale of star-crossed lovers that may just have you in tears by the end.
I’m looking for thoughts and reactions here, but I’m also looking for two males and two females who are interested in being beta-readers and sharing their responses as I write it and the story unfolds, which will help influence and shape it.
I can't have Beata for a beta-reader/counsellor, so I have to go with my second option. No offense or anything. :)