I don't know what to make of this.

[ThatPersonIsMe]

(This is my first post by the way :D)
So for about a year, I've known this girl. I dont remember how, but we became great friends. Whenever we're near eachother, we are constantly grinning and laughing. She makes me, well, happy. I've been pondering my sexuality for some time and I'd come to the conclusion that I was gay, but my relationship with her is no mere friendship. Recently, I've been having dreams about her. Nothing inappropriate. For instance, in one, we we're having a contest to see who could name more types of cupcakes (we're so weird :lol: ) and in another all I can remember is us hugging. I have strong feelings for her but I can't tell if it's just a strong friendship or something more. It's led me to question my previous beliefs of me being homosexual. I know it's not really a question but it's something I wanted to talk about. Another thing, I dont really have the self-esteem for coming out or a relationship as with close inspection to my profile, I am a bit overweight. But my mother just bought an elliptical so I'll see how that works out.

[Luminous]

Sexuality isn't black and white. We're all somewhere on a grayscale and many people have trouble finding that spot. You could be very close to the gay end of the scale, but not quite on the end, so once in 10/100/1,000 crushes, you get feelings for someone of the opposite sex. Some people are fortunate enough to know exactly who they are from the moment they're born, but unfortunately, those people are few and far between. You're not alone. Don't stress too much over whether you're gay, bi, straight, or anything else, just allow yourself to like whoever you like and see where that takes you. Best of luck.

[ThatPersonIsMe]

Thanks Hannah. You're probably right. It's just a weird experience for me as I usually focus my life on schoolwork and excelling academically. She's literally changed the dynamics of my life. Whereas before I'd keep my attention locked on what's important, we usually spend much of class giggling about something completely random.

[thathelperguy]

Don't get hung up on labels (i.e. straight/bi/gay) Life is too short to put yourself in a box and say that you're definitely this and not that. If you have feelings for her follow where your heart and your gut tell you to go. If you don't you might end up regretting it. Hope that helps.

[radsniper]

hannah is right and i have many friends like that most are just really close friendships but i have some feelings also

[ksdnfkfr]

Most of us have mixed up feelings, unusual thoughts and dreams, get confused, go back and forth on what we are etc etc etc.

[ThatPersonIsMe]

I guess I'll just wait it out and sees what happens, especially seeing as how I'm extremely close to entering high school. I appreciate you guys. I never realized how friendly this thing was until I became a an actual member :)

[From Chris]

(This is my first post by the way :D)
So for about a year, I've known this girl. I dont remember how, but we became great friends. Whenever we're near eachother, we are constantly grinning and laughing. She makes me, well, happy. I've been pondering my sexuality for some time and I'd come to the conclusion that I was gay, but my relationship with her is no mere friendship. Recently, I've been having dreams about her. Nothing inappropriate. For instance, in one, we we're having a contest to see who could name more types of cupcakes (we're so weird :lol: ) and in another all I can remember is us hugging. I have strong feelings for her but I can't tell if it's just a strong friendship or something more. It's led me to question my previous beliefs of me being homosexual. I know it's not really a question but it's something I wanted to talk about. Another thing, I dont really have the self-esteem for coming out or a relationship as with close inspection to my profile, I am a bit overweight. But my mother just bought an elliptical so I'll see how that works out.

I think your friendship could be a a couple of things, one being you are just good friends, because those things you said were happening could easily just be a good friendship. If you feel like you may like her more than a friend then that could mean you may not be gay. I wouldn't exactly set a label on yourself unless you are 100% sure. Unless you know for sure you have liked guys for a number of years sexually and or romantically then i wouldn't put a label incase this kind of a situation happens. I have a friend who came out as gay, but he has a friend who he said make him feel different and really happy and stuff and i simply said you shouldn't be quick to find your sexuality so fast and young because anything could happen! :) As to if this is something more than a friendship that is entirely on how you feel. If you feel it could be 'love' or something more then perhaps you should rethink your set decision on being homosexual. I would be cautious if you come out, because one you do it's pretty hard to turn back. People might think the wrong idea if you say oh wait i'm not gay anymore and change your mind. Hope this helps! :)

-Chris <3

[Luminous]

Thanks Hannah. You're probably right. It's just a weird experience for me as I usually focus my life on schoolwork and excelling academically. She's literally changed the dynamics of my life. Whereas before I'd keep my attention locked on what's important, we usually spend much of class giggling about something completely random.

You're very welcome. She sounds like a very special person. Do try and focus on your schoolwork though!

[Landbuscus97]

It depends on what you define as friendship. Anything below making out and having sex to me is a really close friend. If you feel you could work out a relationship with her I say try it out, if it doesn't work out then you can always just be friends

[Karkat]

Agree with Hannah. Also:

People might think the wrong idea if you say oh wait i'm not gay anymore and change your mind.

Definitely agree with that. Two of my female friends came out as transgender to my friends group when I was a sophomore. Another came out as gender-neutral, but then decided they felt they were transgender. Their older sibling was already out as transgender. I came out last, as bigender.

To my knowledge, the older sibling and I are the only ones who still have this gender identity. I think it was a phase for the other three- to my knowledge they feel that they are cisgender.

Not to say that being gay is always a 'phase', but like, sometimes you get your mind set on something, and you open your mouth too soon. Wait until you feel secure in your sexuality to come out about it. (I probably came out about my gender too soon, but oh well.)

[From Chris]

Agree with Hannah. Also:



Definitely agree with that. Two of my female friends came out as transgender to my friends group when I was a sophomore. Another came out as gender-neutral, but then decided they felt they were transgender. Their older sibling was already out as transgender. I came out last, as bigender.

To my knowledge, the older sibling and I are the only ones who still have this gender identity. I think it was a phase for the other three- to my knowledge they feel that they are cisgender.

Not to say that being gay is always a 'phase', but like, sometimes you get your mind set on something, and you open your mouth too soon. Wait until you feel secure in your sexuality to come out about it. (I probably came out about my gender too soon, but oh well.)

Exactly. :) I find it best to REALLY make sure you know who you are before slapping a label down on yourself. Especially publicly.

-Chris <3

[ThatPersonIsMe]

I see. (°~°)

[plebble]

Are you sure you're a homosexual? If this is more than friendship, it sounds like you could be bisexual. You are definitely confused, that's easy to tell... Only time will tell. Maybe you're the type who goes for personality regardless of the gender, people like that do exist which I think is the 'best' sexuality.