Left behind

[Nicky47]

I have been a late bloomer and I feel that since puberty all my friends left me behind. They started going to parties. Having sex and interest in more adult things since puberty while I still do not have that drive and in turn I feel lone a lot and out of place so much. Has this happened to anyoneone else and do you credit puberty to your friends doing these things

[ShineintheDark]

We go through a lot of changes during puberty, both physical and mental, including a change of interests. Naturally, your friends have turned to more adult stuff like partying, thrill-seeking and sex whilst you haven't. In this situation, the best you can do is try and share whatever interests you can with your friends and try and find a group of people to enjoy what they don;t for when you don;t necessarily wanna partake in what they wanna do.

[jamie_n5]

Part of it may be related to puberty but I think the majority of your problem lies with your attitude and feeling left behind. Try involve yourself in the activities your peers are doing go to dances and parties if invited and other social activities like hang outs. You also may not have totally figured out your true sexuality. Just try to fit in and give yourself some time. Make the effort and change the attitude.

[bonbon]

Mmm, I think puberty isn't the issue there; I know that most of the activities I do with my friends have zero relationship with sex and/or aren't specifically "adult" ones, and I don't necessarily appreciate or take part on everything others do, either.

If you feel put aside by others, maybe you should question your own behavior: are you open to their own ideas? are you listening to them? Is there anything they could find annoying in you?

In another post, you wrote: "I can handle disagreement, I can't handle fools who create narratives and ignore valid points"... That's a very sellfish attitude, I'd say, because it denies others a right you keep for yourself: storytelling. And humans socialize precisely by heavy use of storytelling! What do you think people do when they chat? That they are exchanging cold hard facts on a neutral tone? Of course not! We twist reality, we exaggerate, we lie, we are absolutely subjective and fooled by emotions all the time.

If you are not ready to listen to others' narratives, why do you think others would listen to yours, or enjoy your company? Have you ever asked your closests friends how they percieve you? Have you any idea on what they may like/dislike in your behavior? I think it's worth asking yourself those questions about yourself, before blaming puberty or others behavior.

Oh, and for my own experience: yes, I was a late bloomer, but no, it never prevented me to have friends and enjoy time with them in all kinds of opportunities; they didn't stop doing sports, gaming, going to cinema, party (I didn't even know it was an adult thing!), or just enjoy mindless chatting.

[ska8er]

Just because ur friends r doing "adult"
things doesn't mean u have to rush into
the same. Get involved with other activities
with new people and make new friends if u
think that the friends u now have r leaving
u out of stuff. Friends come and go so u have
to keep looking for others to not feel left behind.

[hairy balls]

yes …. Just because your friends are doing "adult"
things doesn't mean you have to rush into
the same.

[Adamant]

You dont have to be like your friends. Maybe its a late bloomer thing maybe not.
Not everyone is going to like parties whatever stage of puberty you are at but i know that its going to be harder at a party if you are already feeling bad about your body.
Maybe try to go to some if you can just so you have things to chat about with your friends at school....or maybe join some clubs to meet other kids to make friends with.
I can relate a bit to what you are saying. I am not a very confident person and needed to change my friendship group for various reasons.
I was lucky enough to meet some nice people when i started going to church.