Circumcision suicide story

[Confused_panda]

So i saw this story (https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-47292307) a bit ago, and I found it really sad and shocking. Then I saw this follow-up article (https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-48057183) a bit later where people had written in with horror stories about being circumcised, I was really surprised at the strength of feeling.

This might be quite Europe-centric where it's less common, but I suppose my question is: has anyone else felt really strongly negative after they found out they were circumcised (or after they got it done while older)? Hopefully there's no reactions that extreme though!

[SouthernDude]

This is a very sad story. I do send my condolences to the family. But I am perfectly fine and happy with my circumcised penis. I had it done as a baby

[Gazebo]

If you take your own life because of being circumcised, trust me, there is a lot more wrong with you than just the absence of your foreskin

[Gay Paul]

I had a partial circumcision done there, and the surgeon tried to remove as little as possible, part of the foreskin, as I was probably 5 years old, and only after other methods did not work, I'm grateful for it :)

[ska8er]

I agree with Gazebo above. I don't
c where it is so devastating.

[Gay Paul]

I used to read very sad entries about the fact that in the United States, especially in the Midwest, parents circumcise make their son look like daddy. This is how I wonder Americans are a strange nation, if someone ever lost a tooth in a fight, if his son would also like to lose a tooth, to look like a daddy, he would enjoy or rather protest :-)

It is good that I was not born in the US, because I could be born in midwest there and some moron that would be best for me without a foreskin, in my case I lost only a small piece.

[ColdCube]

To be honest, although this story does sound pretty devastating, I would like to point out that this man, a grown man, is responsible for his own actions and the consequences.

As he was said to be so smart and intelligent then why had he been incapable of researching and fending for his own interests? - because his laptop was broken and he was ashamed to research in public or ask the people around him? Quite frankly, this does not seem like very intelligent behaviour.

And why didn't he contact a professional over his problems post-circumcision? Or are all doctors big bad people who want to see their patients suffer? I really don't get it. It seems, like some have meant, that probably there was something else wrong with him but just his penile problem ...

As Kant once said:
"Enlightenment is man's emergence from his self-imposed immaturity."
(And this quote actually does sound better in German.)

[Hermes]

As he was said to be so smart and intelligent then why had he been incapable of researching and fending for his own interests? - because his laptop was broken and he was ashamed to research in public or ask the people around him? Quite frankly, this does not seem like very intelligent behaviour.

Clearly he would have done better to bit it is reasonable to expecr the medical profession to act like professionals, i.e.give accurate advice as to what is in your best interests and to perform operations competently.

With neonatal circumcision still being common I am not we can trust at least the North American medics in this respect.

It's very sad when someone takes their own life for whatever reason but I supect it is more complicated than the story makes it out to be. As much as we may feel good about our favourite toys, and while sexual competence is important, few would conclude that the whole of life is not worth living without it.

Nevertheless, even if only a few feel mutilated by circumcision, that's a good reason not to impose it on a baby who has not choice and no understanding at the time. It should be left until somone can make up thier iwn mind and then we can say "Well it was uour decision".

[Confused_panda]

There's definitely more to that story that we'll never know. Why did he not do any research beforehand? So strange.

The mainly negative replies in the follow-ups surprised me most though. It's like there's a really negative stigma about circumcision in the UK - even when it is medically needed.

[jamie_n5]

Thanks for posting your thread. It does indeed leave you with much thought about circumcision and phimosis.

[Maxbreak]

Thanks for posting your thread. It does indeed leave you with much thought about circumcision and phimosis.

I'm not a fan of getting it done as a baby for the sake of it. I do think all boys should get checked from 10 to 15 to be done sooner. Had the person in this article be done earlier, it could have been different

[jamie_n5]

I'm not a fan of getting it done as a baby for the sake of it. I do think all boys should get checked from 10 to 15 to be done sooner. Had the person in this article be done earlier, it could have been different

I agree if his parents or doctor would have mentioned it at age 7-14 I agree most likely things would be different. I sure hope the mother in the article checked out her other two boys.

I could retract my foreskin somewhere around 6 without any problem and my doctor made sure things were working okay at age 8.

[antandlope]

The story's really sad and no one should be in that position (there's virtual teen for that)! There's also lots of treatment options for it now too including steroids

[Hermes]

The mainly negative replies in the follow-ups surprised me most though. It's like there's a really negative stigma about circumcision in the UK - even when it is medically needed.

Of course, there may be an element of people not wanting to be the odd one out and here in the UK being uncut is the norm. I would not say there was a stigma, though. I first became aware of circumcision when I noticed two boys in gym class were cut and, as far as I know, there has been no teasing about that. I think those two may have been done for religious reasons but I also met someone who was done for medical reasons and he was fine with it.

While it would be nice to think we in the UK were trailblazers for human rights I suspect the low circumcision rate here is mostly down to how healthcare is provided.

The majority of healthcare in the UK is provided by the NHS and funded from taxation rather than via insurance. Doctors (GPs) are allocated a sum of money per year per patient at their practice. That money is not specific to the patient concerned - it is well understood that some patients need more healthcare than others - it is just a way of paying doctors based on the size of their practice. From that money they need to pay their own salaries and for any elective treatment in hospital. Emergency treatment, via A&E is separate.

So a doctor is not going to pay for any routine treatment unless there is clear evidence that the patient's health will be measurably improved by it, or there is a clear case that prevention is better than cure. The case for routine infant circumcision on those grounds is simply not strong enough. If doctors were to spend their budget on things without a clear benefit they would then be short of money for things that really need to be treated.

Compare that to the US model where a medic can say that a treatment has a benefit to a patient, even if it is marginal, and demand that the patient's health insurance pay up for it. The insurance company then pass that cost on to the patient via the premiums.

When it comes to non-routine treatment the doctors here in the UK generally follow a model of preferring the least invasive option which goes like this:

1. Can the condition be dealt with by advice alone? This includes telling the patient it will cure itself (as in a cold), or offering lifestyle advice.

2. If not, can it be treated with medicines? So, for phimosis this would be the steroid cream option.

3. If medicines are ineffective, or if the long term cost is prohibitive, and surgery is available then consider surgery, i.e. in the case of phimosis, circumcision.

[JamesCam]

I read this story when it was published. I’ve carefully considered before answering.

There are lots of Americans, probably a majority of VT members, in the US circumcision is the norm and quite honestly the vast majority of Americans are conditioned to believe that circumcision is better in every possible way.
It’s not.
I’m circumcised, I was circumcised aged 13. I”ve experienced both. Prior to being circumcised I had foreskin issues, quite honestly they’re rare despite what you read here, and the vast majority are easily cured, just like most issues we may have. We dont remove toenails in case we get an ingrown toenail.
My younger brother is circumcised, his circumcision is so tight he suffers with painful erections. He’s 14

I know many many circumcised people , mainly from here , that have problems. I believe as many as 1 in 10 suffer with a complication following circumcision. Put that against the , totally curable, number of guys that get a UTI. I know cut guys that have had a UTI.
Skin bridges, too tight , not enough skin removed. Infections, skin tags .. the list goes on.

I know uncut guys that wish they were cut. I know cut guys that wish they uncut.
Yes i think it should be down to invidiual choice when someone is old enough. All this about looks and hygiene is total shite.

Now down to someone committing suicide.

Ive seen remarks about what he should have researched known better etc.

I went through school being called Jew , snippy , half dick..
i got asked how the fuck i was going to be able to wank.
I got told no one would have sex with me.

I know Americans who have endured taunts for being uncut.

None of that is right but it exists.

I’m a member here but i know guys from loads of places. A friend of mine has a really tight foreskin, he’s 17, he wouldn’t tell his dad but eventually got his mum to take him to the Dr, the Dr told him he would need to be circumcised. He has flatly refused. Pure and simple he knows what get said about cut guys amongst his peers. He has quite categorically stated NOTHING would persuade him to be circumcised.

So when you live in a culture where the needless ( yes the rest of the world says needless) removal of a part of a humans anatomy for no reason is the norm its probably hard to understand why someone would go to that extreme. But also remember there are people in the US that hate being circumcised but they have to put on a brave face as admitting they wish they weren’t would make them stand out and not conform with the bravado I’m skinned this is best look.

The human body evolved for a reason.

I feel sorry for the guys family and i feel sorry that he felt so bad about how his body looked that he made the decision he did.........
But then too many make that decision based on how others perceive their looks etc

[Confused_panda]

I would not say there was a stigma, though.

I agree Hermes, that the NHS budget has probably did a lot to reduce the rate more than any social at the start, but I would say that now the negative stereotype about being circumcised in the UK is probably a bigger factor - although this is might be bigger in the less multi-cultural areas of the country where it is so rare.

I went through school being called Jew , snippy , half dick..
i got asked how the fuck i was going to be able to wank.
I got told no one would have sex with me.

I agree totally with James. I've grown up with the taunts, name calling, and sometimes pity from people when they find out that I've had it done. I've had people tell me they'd rather die than have it done, as if it's the worst thing that could ever happen to them - one even said he thought it would "make him less of a man".

I suppose it's like any other form of body image pressure - it isn't right, but it definitely exists.

[JamesCam]

I agree Hermes, that the NHS budget has probably did a lot to reduce the rate more than any social at the start, but I would say that now the negative stereotype about being circumcised in the UK is probably a bigger factor - although this is might be bigger in the less multi-cultural areas of the country where it is so rare.



I agree totally with James. I've grown up with the taunts, name calling, and sometimes pity from people when they find out that I've had it done. I've had people tell me they'd rather die than have it done, as if it's the worst thing that could ever happen to them - one even said he thought it would "make him less of a man".

I suppose it's like any other form of body image pressure - it isn't right, but it definitely exists.

I know some uncut guys in the US that have been taunted for not being circumcised.
I once got told it put me at the bottom of the social scale .. whatever that was meant to mean I have no fucking idea.
I do know that I prefer being circumcised than having the issues I did. But lots of cut guys especially from the US also need to realise there is nothing wrong with being uncut and from my experience certainly no cleaner and no better being cut that’s utter shite. Whilst here in the UK uncut guys should realise how dumb they are with comments they make .

[Hermes]

I agree totally with James. I've grown up with the taunts, name calling, and sometimes pity from people when they find out that I've had it done. I've had people tell me they'd rather die than have it done, as if it's the worst thing that could ever happen to them - one even said he thought it would "make him less of a man".

It's a shame some people can be so mean, and so immature, as to make others feel bad in that way. I think it also varies from one place to another. While I would not expect any of that to be directed at me as I'm uncut and thus in the majority in the UK, I also wasn't aware of it happening to the cut boys in our class. But James confirms it does happen.

But that still makes committing suicide over that an extreme reaction. I mean if I got my foot run over by a lorry or something and had to have it amputated I'd be annoyed about it and I would find things that were once easy had got harder, but there would still be plenty of life to enjoy.

[JamesCam]

It's a shame some people can be so mean, and so immature, as to make others feel bad in that way. I think it also varies from one place to another. While I would not expect any of that to be directed at me as I'm uncut and thus in the majority in the UK, I also wasn't aware of it happening to the cut boys in our class. But James confirms it does happen.

But that still makes committing suicide over that an extreme reaction. I mean if I got my foot run over by a lorry or something and had to have it amputated I'd be annoyed about it and I would find things that were once easy had got harder, but there would still be plenty of life to enjoy.

He was older than we are so life might be different.
I can honestly say that whilst on line I’ve done my share of stupid things irl I’m really shy sexually predominantly because I’m cut. (I’m gay) I don’t mind cut or uncut dicks, I personally go for the person they are attached to, but the remarks I’ve had certainly make me quite apprehensive when getting intimate. I can honestly empathise with how low that can make you feel.
When you think people commit suicide over their weight, skin colour .. any physical attributes, I can understand the sadness. I’ve seen a few cuts that ain’t great results and I’ve listened to how people feel about it.

[Confused_panda]

It's a shame some people can be so mean, and so immature, as to make others feel bad in that way. I think it also varies from one place to another.

I'm sure it probably does vary. I've grown up in areas that aren't exactly diverse, so I've been the only person that people know about, so I'm sure that makes a difference. Or maybe they just don't like me for other reasons and that's just an easy way to make fun of me :D

but the remarks I’ve had certainly make me quite apprehensive when getting intimate.

This! God, yeah, this...

But that still makes committing suicide over that an extreme reaction.

Yeah, that is extreme and I'm sure there had to be other stuff going on for him to do that. But I suppose if you'd grown up in the UK with that negative stuff and then suddenly gone to a "cut first" doctor in country with a culture where it isn't an issue, I think it probably would be difficult. I dunno...

I mean if I got my foot run over by a lorry or something and had to have it amputated I'd be annoyed about it and I would find things that were once easy had got harder, but there would still be plenty of life to enjoy.

There is that, but if the forums on here are anything to go by, boys are a bit obsessed by their penis' :) - they are central to who they are. I guess if you were going to be a top footballer or something and then suddenly had to get your foot amputated, you would probably take it a bit harder?

Like you said though, people can be mean! Anything that makes you different makes you a target for some people...

Anyway..! This is all getting a bit deep :D