Is it abuse to get a spanking if you are 13 now?

[Tylerttt]

i mean if you do something pretty bad and they punish you by a spanking is that abuse or what?

[Natacha]

Yes it is

[arnorway]

it is at any age

[InternetTeen]

Any form of physical attack is abuse.

[Gone Away]

Yes, there is no need to put hands on anyone for punishment because there are other ways to punish like consequences like taking away your phones for a week or something like that.

[Natacha]

Parents should be the one who know how to use words for reasoning. Not teaching how to deal with problems by force or violence

[Pultost]

Spanking should never be allowed at any age. If someone spanks their kids in my country, they'll be in deep shit.

[Katie2003]

i mean if you do something pretty bad and they punish you by a spanking is that abuse or what?

While it can be abuse under the right circumstances, you need to evaluate the circumstances and the severity of the punishment first before even thinking that it could be.

As a 16 year old who is from a family that believes in spanking and has for generations, I'm used to it and have come to realize that's what my parents believe in because that's how they were raised. I can honestly say that I firmly believe it is not abuse if it's done as punishment for something you did, and done without being excessive. To me it seems like a way for parents to get the attention of the person being punished, letting them know that their behavior will not be tolerated. Of course it's possible to carry it too far, but I would expect most parents know better than to do that and are capable of giving a fair yet firm punishment that can be effective.

I understand that it's not legal in some countries, but in the US it is still legal, and I don't see that ever changing any time soon as it is very traditional in many families. In fact I recently looked up the statistics and there are 19 states in the US that still allow spanking in the public schools.

[Just JT]

If the parents are using brute force and pain to discipline you.....yes
That only teaches a child it’s ok to put your hands on someone else when they do something yo7 don’t like
And that’s not ok

[kro814]

Spanking by parents is legal in every state in America. I still get spanked.

[hayley2003]

i mean if you do something pretty bad and they punish you by a spanking is that abuse or what?

Kinda depends on how abuse is defined. Basically abuse means "Excessive".

Personally, I kinda think a mom\dad hitting their children is wrong. But that does not mean abuse.

[Ethan19]

In my opinion, no. In the eyes of the law, in most cases of spanking, no. Quite a simple one really. People will let their emotion get in the way of answering this one, rather than answering for what it is.

[kayin]

I dont think it is an abuse

[Uniquemind]

This is an interesting topic and I’m of mixed feelings on this because I have friends who come from parenting cultures where spanking is much more accepted (black culture, Latino culture, and even among asian cultures there’s a mixed bag of views on this).


And one thing I’ve noticed is that the poorer background someone comes from generationally speaking, the more the utilize spanking or have been spanked.


Humans have a tendency to turn to what is called in applied behavior analysis as “positive punishments” mainly because when a person (a parent in this case) is mad their brain might actually give-in to a small dopamine release when actually applying the behavior of the punishment like spanking because of catharsis.


That’s why you see parents who don’t mean to go overboard, but for a moment they go insane and actually accidentally scar or even kill their own children but they “meant well” or it was “an accident” and suddenly they on the news....tragically.


Now I could argue from a holier than thou perspective, but I recognize that some families can’t do the “take away privileges” instead of spanking, but what are they going to take away from their kids? A smartphone, vid game, makeup, and lock-on-bedroom door for grounding?

If your poor, no parent can enforce any of those because you probably couldn’t afford them in the first place, Internet probably doesn’t exist in that household anyway, makeup might be easy to replace from sources on the street, and poorer parents got those 8-9 hour daily work shifts; they can’t enforce a grounding if all their kids are rebellious.


It’s a problem especially in the inner cities in the country and from what I hear from friends I’ve met just this past year over deep discussions over lunch, there’s no real answer.

——


If I were ever a parent I wouldn’t spank UNLESS it was clear my child was literally committing crimes; things that go beyond just regular bad behavior, and that they should know from household rules established when they were little, that I’d be upset by.

But that’s a last resort.

[jenjen]

Not for ages sucks though when it happened. My bff has super strict parents. She gets the belt or stick and usually on the bare

[SouthernDude]

If they're not spanking you hard; ie forcefully whipping you for 20 minutes until your butt starts bleeding; then I don't consider it to be abuse. My siblings, parents, and their parents were all raised with spankings to teach them lessons.

[Catt]

Depends what you did / were doing
It’s not exactly right
But if someone keeps pushing a parent like I’ve seen my sister do, a slap isn’t unfair

[jeanZ]

I think in the States whether it's abuse or not depends on how hard you spank.
Just limited to the rump and not too hard isn't abuse.

[AnnaVitamin]

Sounds weird for me.

[ska8er]

If it is done in anger and hurts someone
then it would b considered abuse. Otherwise
I don't think it is abuse.

[abcdeqwe]

While it can be abuse under the right circumstances, you need to evaluate the circumstances and the severity of the punishment first before even thinking that it could be.

As a 16 year old who is from a family that believes in spanking and has for generations, I'm used to it and have come to realize that's what my parents believe in because that's how they were raised. I can honestly say that I firmly believe it is not abuse if it's done as punishment for something you did, and done without being excessive. To me it seems like a way for parents to get the attention of the person being punished, letting them know that their behavior will not be tolerated. Of course it's possible to carry it too far, but I would expect most parents know better than to do that and are capable of giving a fair yet firm punishment that can be effective.

I understand that it's not legal in some countries, but in the US it is still legal, and I don't see that ever changing any time soon as it is very traditional in many families. In fact I recently looked up the statistics and there are 19 states in the US that still allow spanking in the public schools.

Doing just cuz it is “tradition” is never enough of a reason. I think it’s important to put oneself in the shoes of the kid. Even if they know better, there r better ways to deal with bad behavior and from talking with some of my friends who still get spanked, it doesn’t make them any more disciplined or less inclined to do something g that will get them in trouble.

[minda015]

i mean if you do something pretty bad and they punish you by a spanking is that abuse or what?
sure...age is not a criteria..punishing by spanking is bad

[Spooky_Eli]

It's always abuse.

[Atlantis]

sure...age is not a criteria..punishing by spanking is bad

please don't bump old posts :locked: