Coming Out Atheist/Agnostic

[Hollywood]

As some of you may know, I'm an atheist. It isn't really a big deal to me, but I've been covering this up from my family for five years. In a way, it makes me feel like a liar, even though I've never been asked directly about my views. The problem is, of course, that my family is made up entirely of devout Christians who tend to despise people like me. I'm just curious to hear how some of you have "come out" to your families, or if you're planning to do so if you haven't already. It's something I'm always thinking about.

[PinkFloyd]

What you have to do is make sure that they accept you for who they are before you say that you're an atheist. That's what I'd do.

I've never understood the concept of Christians hating Atheists. I mean, doesn't Christianity teach to accept everyone?

[Hollywood]

What you have to do is make sure that they accept you for who they are before you say that you're an atheist. That's what I'd do.

I've never understood the concept of Christians hating Atheists. I mean, doesn't Christianity teach to accept everyone?

I feel like they would eventually accept it, but I also feel sure it would cause some serious tension and bitterness. The last thing I need is more conflict, but feeling the way I feel and hiding it from everyone is creating a conflict inside of my head anyways. I guess I just have to choose the lesser of the two evils.

[PinkFloyd]

I feel like they would eventually accept it, but I also feel sure it would cause some serious tension and bitterness. The last thing I need is more conflict, but feeling the way I feel and hiding it from everyone is creating a conflict inside of my head anyways. I guess I just have to choose the lesser of the two evils.

Yeah, I suppose you're right. Well, good luck with your family, man.

[DiamondsGirl]

I've been secretly living as a non-believer (I say non-believer because I have no freaking idea how to pronounce 'atheist' correctly LOL) for almost five years now, too. I hid it from everyone including my closest friends. I have no plan of telling anyone though. I tried giving out hints to one of my best friends whom I thought is also a non-believer, but she freaked out immediately. My other two friends are avid church-goers, and would undoubtedly stress out over my confession so it's out of the question. My parents are very controlling and unsupportive. They would definitely make me go through hell if I ever said a word. I don't mind attending my school's Catholic mass (yes I go to a catholic school) though--even if I always secretly roll my eyes--so staying under the radar is not a problem for me. I'm leaving this country soon for college anyways =\ soon I'll be in a place where people are more accepting towards non-believers. Here in my country, unless you believe in religion, you're done for.

[phuckphace]

http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=204757

didn't go too well for this poor guy. your experience is likely to be very similar. my advice would be the same as I gave him in that thread.

[Hollywood]

I've been secretly living as a non-believer (I say non-believer because I have no freaking idea how to pronounce 'atheist' correctly LOL) for almost five years now, too. I hid it from everyone including my closest friends. I have no plan of telling anyone though. I tried giving out hints to one of my best friends whom I thought is also a non-believer, but she freaked out immediately. My other two friends are avid church-goers, and would undoubtedly stress out over my confession so it's out of the question. My parents are very controlling and unsupportive. They would definitely make me go through hell if I ever said a word. I don't mind attending my school's Catholic mass (yes I go to a catholic school) though--even if I always secretly roll my eyes--so staying under the radar is not a problem for me. I'm leaving this country soon for college anyways =\ soon I'll be in a place where people are more accepting towards non-believers. Here in my country, unless you believe in religion, you're done for.

Yeah, I have the same feeling as you, I'm going to be leaving before too long anyways so it might just be worth it to tough it out for a little bit longer. The worst-case scenario here is pretty awful, I really don't think it's worth risking. I don't mind going to church every Sunday, but the pressure's going to start coming on soon to start attending other church functions, and I'm not sure I'm going to be able to handle all of that. Hopefully I can put them off long enough to get everything done that I need to and get out of here before things get too out of hand.

I'm flying under the radar as well, I was religious for the first 13 years of my life so I'm good at playing the part. I hate playing a role, putting on a face, but at least I'm not lying to myself anymore. I know who I am and I'm happy with it.

http://www.virtualteen.org/forums/showthread.php?t=204757

didn't go too well for this poor guy. your experience is likely to be very similar. my advice would be the same as I gave him in that thread.

I think that's the plan right there; wait until I get what I need and start my own life before telling anyone. Thankfully, I'm on my way and hopefully I'll be out on my own within the next year.

[JamesSuperBoy]

I know who I am and I'm happy with it.
.


That can only be good.

[Syvelocin]

You don't have to come out about anything that makes you who you are, first of all.

Honestly, even my mum who is super accepting of everything as long as I'm well and happy was a little mad when she found out, but she got over it. There isn't really a grey area here: any parent who feels differently than that, reaction possibly and then tolerance or acceptance, is doing it wrong and they can go fuck themselves. Beyond all else, a parents' focus should be on your health, happiness, and maintaining a solid relationship with you. My mum was fine when I identified satanist and she was fine when I identified pagan. But she did try to cultivate me to be a Christian until she was too tired to fight me and let me stop going to church at age 8, and I think anyone could be a little mad about that. I wouldn't show it, but if my future kid announced they were Christian I'd be a little pissed, but still accept them. There isn't anything on this planet they could tell me and cause me to think of kicking them out, disowning them, etc. Hopefully they would still take on some of my morals and be one of the "good" Christians though.

But yeah, you are pretty close to leaving. If you'd think they'd react THAT strongly, obviously your well-being is more important. I'd hope not though; I can't stand people who are like that. But it's up to you if you wait.

[Dalcourt]

I wouldn't bother to tell my family. I don't see why you should make a big deal out of it. In my opinion religious beliefs are something private anyway and there's no need to "out" yourself if this only creates unnecessary tensions.
Why make life more complicated than it is...