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Uniquemind
April 4th, 2019, 11:47 PM
“Playing hard to get” is that genuinely good advice or does it promote a toxic dating culture?


Thoughts?
antandlope
April 5th, 2019, 12:04 AM
Promoting toxic dating culture. I don’t think it ends well for either party, because either... they’ll end up hating you, or, they’ll think you’re not interested. In both cases, neither of you get in a relationship. Lose-lose situation
Uniquemind
April 5th, 2019, 02:50 AM
Is that really true though? Because playing hard-to-get is done to differing degrees, depending on the people involved. Some are better at reading subtext than others, and it tends to be extroverts that really recognize or jump at opportunities whereas introverts tend to be the scenario you described above where either party fails to act.


Are you playing hard to get to be fun and playful? Or are you doing so because you’re a diva?

It’s just a different kind of intent despite the outward behavior being the same. And for guys I’m not sure they sense the difference.
Pultost
April 5th, 2019, 03:27 AM
I think playing hard to get is bullshit. It can also backfire.
ska8er
April 5th, 2019, 06:10 AM
I wouldn't do it. Don't make yourself too available
or too distant. Ur partner might get wrong ideas.
Adamant
April 5th, 2019, 09:53 AM
Just be honest. If you like someone let it show. If you know they like you and you quite like them why do it?
Char03
April 5th, 2019, 10:59 AM
Just be honest. If you like someone let it show. If you know they like you and you quite like them why do it?

Couldn't have put it better myself.
Pultost
April 5th, 2019, 11:00 AM
Just be honest. If you like someone let it show. If you know they like you and you quite like them why do it?

Well said, Adam. :)
Caycedilla
April 5th, 2019, 11:51 AM
Playing hard to get makes you seem like you aren't into the other person (even if you actually are), and can cause hurt feelings for both people. It's not something I would ever do. If I like someone I would definitely flirt and talk to with them (and hopefully get a date), and not act like they should "work" for attention. I don't consider myself better than other people, so why would I intentionally make them feel inferior?
Karalectric
April 5th, 2019, 01:56 PM
Just be honest. If you like someone let it show. If you know they like you and you quite like them why do it?

I am also with Mr. Ant here. I dunno it feels like toying with someone and that is not nice
Taelorxo2
April 5th, 2019, 05:13 PM
Don’t play games with people, be honest about how you feel
PlasmaHam
April 5th, 2019, 05:26 PM
Playing a little is fine, but if you see that the other person is invested in pursuing a relationship, be honest. Unless your goal is to ruin any potential relationship with that person, even on a friend level, playing hard to get is just going to hurt everyone.
Allover Kelly
April 5th, 2019, 08:37 PM
If you play hard to get and they want you, they might just move on. To me it is a respect thing. Just let thing go and see what happens.
Jordan99
April 10th, 2019, 12:28 PM
It's silly and childish if not a bit immature. If you play games the person you're interested in may not like to play such games and will simply move on and YOU will lose or miss out on what might have been something nice.
Elise05
April 10th, 2019, 10:49 PM
Just be up front. I think people might lose chances if you aren't showing interest. That would suck!
Ashley2004
April 12th, 2019, 08:14 PM
I'm not a fan of playing games. Someone usually ends up getting hurt and it's a waste of time.
Uniquemind
April 12th, 2019, 10:06 PM
Given that there is a consensus that it’s bad, why do you think it even gets mentioned as advice from friends counsel? I think it’s definitely something you grow out of, but I remember this line of advice being passed around all the time in jr. high and even high school.

I’ve heard it a few times at college too.
Common.Name
April 20th, 2019, 12:57 AM
Im not a fan of it. Im not sure its toxic, but deff doesnt help build trust or the sense of relationship.
hayley2003
April 20th, 2019, 02:39 AM
“Playing hard to get” is that genuinely good advice or does it promote a toxic dating culture?


Thoughts?

I can't imagine it would be good. It's that what they call Mind Games or manipulation?
Amy_n_Annie
April 23rd, 2019, 05:07 PM
It’s not cool, it’s not a good way to start a relationship and will most likely get your ignored and get you a rep for being a stuck up bitch
Shaythen
April 26th, 2019, 07:38 PM
It’s a stupid thing, if someone likes you and you like them, tell them. If someone likes you and you don’t like them that way, tell them, honesty is always best
ItIsKai
April 27th, 2019, 08:25 AM
I think it's not very good. What's the point of it anyway?
KAG2020
April 27th, 2019, 09:32 PM
Hard to get it’s a total un mitigated disaster. You have one person who is head over heels, and the other one is too. But, one thinks it’s a good idea to not seem desperate EVEN THOUGH THE OTHER ONE IS TOO! It is so stupid to be straight with you. Well, I can’t be straight with you. I can be quite frank with you.
ArfyMcPeesh
April 28th, 2019, 08:34 AM
I have tons of experience being rejected and I really hope that none of them were playing hard to get bc if you really do want someone why would you try to get them to not like u first or think you’re not interested. If u tell me no I’m done bc I’m not into getting pissed off and hurt more