Most important quality for a boyfriend

[kayin]

What is the most important thing for a boyfriend?

[mick01]

Since I'm bi, I'm going to answer.
But just picking one thing is hard but I'll say he has to be a good, caring person.

[Natacha]

To put the partner before your self. It's a quality both boys and girls could be better at.

[abcdeqwe]

Being really fun to hang out with, having things in common, smiles a lot, puts up with me lol

[Caycedilla]

Honesty and consideration for feelings (that works both ways)

[OwlBlue]

Tender loving care

[mick01]

To put the partner before your self. It's a quality both boys and girls could be better at.

Sorry, but wtf does this mean? I'm not supposed to have any of my needs met?

[Pultost]

Sorry, but wtf does this mean? I'm not supposed to have any of my needs met?

Sure you do, but it's a two-way street. If both put the other before themselves, it should be a win-win.

[Natacha]

Sorry, but wtf does this mean? I'm not supposed to have any of my needs met?

I obviously didn't mean this in black and white like "You have to do everything for your partner, so you choose to live like an animal in a cage your self".
I really didn't think I had to explain it, but I guess I have to anyway. Or did you just want to misunderstand it in the worst way possible?

I mean: If both people in a relationsship puts the other before them self (And not being totally selfish) it might be a perfect relationsship for both.
If you put someone else before yourself, it doesn't mean you put yourself absolutely LAST.

[Char03]

To be trustworthy

[mick01]

I obviously didn't mean this in black and white like "You have to do everything for your partner, so you choose to live like an animal in a cage your self".
I really didn't think I had to explain it, but I guess I have to anyway. Or did you just want to misunderstand it in the worst way possible?

I mean: If both people in a relationsship puts the other before them self (And not being totally selfish) it might be a perfect relationsship for both.
If you put someone else before yourself, it doesn't mean you put yourself absolutely LAST.

I get it now with what Pultost said. Each has to put the other before themselves. Sorry, I just read it that one person in the relationship has to cater to the other.

[ska8er]

Same for girlfriend-One who is courteous
and caring and likes the same things u like.
Then it goes from there.

[Uniquemind]

I obviously didn't mean this in black and white like "You have to do everything for your partner, so you choose to live like an animal in a cage your self".
I really didn't think I had to explain it, but I guess I have to anyway. Or did you just want to misunderstand it in the worst way possible?

I mean: If both people in a relationsship puts the other before them self (And not being totally selfish) it might be a perfect relationsship for both.
If you put someone else before yourself, it doesn't mean you put yourself absolutely LAST.


That’s true, but I think actual conflict arise because of differences in personal definitions of what it means to be “selfless” or putting another partner before yourself, as that has a degree of variance depending on cultural background too. Even the smallest behavior has difference significance depending on who you date or are with.


The ideal is clear, but it gets gray in application and that’s just something you learn with time on the dating scene I guess.

—-

For me I think the number one quality is honesty, and that goes for all genders both introspectively and interdependently with partners.

Almost everyone fails this quality though at some point in their lives.

[Zachary G]

He has to be compassionate, open minded, and caring. . . to name a few

[kayin]

I obviously didn't mean this in black and white like "You have to do everything for your partner, so you choose to live like an animal in a cage your self".
I really didn't think I had to explain it, but I guess I have to anyway. Or did you just want to misunderstand it in the worst way possible?

I mean: If both people in a relationsship puts the other before them self (And not being totally selfish) it might be a perfect relationsship for both.
If you put someone else before yourself, it doesn't mean you put yourself absolutely LAST.

I agree

[Katie2003]

Compassion and respect for me are the most important qualities. Without those nothing else matters. Of course there are other things but that is the top of the list.

[Barbara.]

Personality, honesty and credibility.

[Natacha]

That’s true, but I think actual conflict arise because of differences in personal definitions of what it means to be “selfless” or putting another partner before yourself, as that has a degree of variance depending on cultural background too. Even the smallest behavior has difference significance depending on who you date or are with.


The ideal is clear, but it gets gray in application and that’s just something you learn with time on the dating scene I guess.

—-

For me I think the number one quality is honesty, and that goes for all genders both introspectively and interdependently with partners.

Almost everyone fails this quality though at some point in their lives.

It's true honesty is very important. And of course it depends. One who has been hurt by dishonesty might strongly believe honesty to be the very most important quality. But I thought this thread was about, what we individually think is most important. And I stand by my first feeling and I don't feel like being corrected

[ItsJustSomeone]

Having a sense of humor, just be able to chill out and have fun.

[Uniquemind]

It's true honesty is very important. And of course it depends. One who has been hurt by dishonesty might strongly believe honesty to be the very most important quality. But I thought this thread was about, what we individually think is most important. And I stand by my first feeling and I don't feel like being corrected

I’m not correcting you; if it came across that way I apologize. I was speaking more to contribute to the broad theme of discussion.

The “but” isn’t a challenge or contradiction its meant as an addendum to the discussion at large as more and more people contribute their opinions and insight that the original poster poses.

The direction the conversation was heading kind of begged the question that if we all understand the ideal of being “selfless” then why do we see that ideal so twisted in practice? I wanted to address that to the OP’s benefit but that does not imply I’m saying you’re wrong.

Your reply is also spot-on, as I do speak from a perspective of someone who has experienced being cheated on in my earliest relationships so I’m sure my bias influences my post.

The reality is a good boyfriend needs many of the qualities mentioned by everyone here, and there really isnt any “most” important one.

[kayin]

I’m not correcting you; if it came across that way I apologize. I was speaking more to contribute to the broad theme of discussion.

The “but” isn’t a challenge or contradiction its meant as an addendum to the discussion at large as more and more people contribute their opinions and insight that the original poster poses.

The direction the conversation was heading kind of begged the question that if we all understand the ideal of being “selfless” then why do we see that ideal so twisted in practice? I wanted to address that to the OP’s benefit but that does not imply I’m saying you’re wrong.

Your reply is also spot-on, as I do speak from a perspective of someone who has experienced being cheated on in my earliest relationships so I’m sure my bias influences my post.

The reality is a good boyfriend needs many of the qualities mentioned by everyone here, and there really isnt any “most” important one.


I do agree that a good bf need many qualities

[BlackParadePixie]

Trust and open communication

[Karalectric]

Honesty and consideration for feelings (that works both ways)

A million likes on this one, Cayce!

Kindness and compassion. And definitely someone who i can laugh with! It is so good for my soul!!

[candybar]

Honesty and credibility.

[Taelorxo2]

Honesty and kindness

[Ethan19]

To put the partner before your self. It's a quality both boys and girls could be better at.

I think I disagree here. This quality is inherently impossible to maintain. Also, it makes marriage sound like a liability.

I agree with the general premise which is be caring and kind etc. But you cannot live a fulfilling life with your partner if you put them before yourself. There's so much research into fulfillment and how it is necessary for a healthy life style - I find this topic quiet interesting, sad I know 😂 I'd like to know your thoughts on what I said though

I also like the saying you can't love anyone else before you love yourself (or something like this). It shows that putting someone before yourself, is almost not natural?

[Natacha]

I think I disagree here. This quality is inherently impossible to maintain. Also, it makes marriage sound like a liability.

I agree with the general premise which is be caring and kind etc. But you cannot live a fulfilling life with your partner if you put them before yourself. There's so much research into fulfillment and how it is necessary for a healthy life style - I find this topic quiet interesting, sad I know 😂 I'd like to know your thoughts on what I said though

I also like the saying you can't love anyone else before you love yourself (or something like this). It shows that putting someone before yourself, is almost not natural?

Again. It's not black and white. "You can't love anyone else before you love your self". Do you thereby mean, that it's impossible to put someone else before yourself because it means that you literally must hate your self?
You CAN love your self and still think positively about other people.
And putting someone else before your self doesn't mean you are a slave.
I'm not saying you should do that without the partner having you as first priority.
I agree this way of life can make selfish people be more selfish. So you are right. In this age of selfies and self-promotion, for most people this may NOT work.
I just understood the question of the thread as hypothetical and what I see as a great quality.
Not being selfish works for me and my partner, cause we are able to control the ME ME ME urge and think WE WE WE instead :-D

[Spooky_Eli]

I think I disagree here. This quality is inherently impossible to maintain. Also, it makes marriage sound like a liability.

I agree with the general premise which is be caring and kind etc. But you cannot live a fulfilling life with your partner if you put them before yourself. There's so much research into fulfillment and how it is necessary for a healthy life style - I find this topic quiet interesting, sad I know �� I'd like to know your thoughts on what I said though

I also like the saying you can't love anyone else before you love yourself (or something like this). It shows that putting someone before yourself, is almost not natural?

I belive the phrase ur looking for is "you can't love other people if you don't love yourself."

Again. It's not black and white. "You can't love anyone else before you love your self". Do you thereby mean, that it's impossible to put someone else before yourself because it means that you literally must hate your self?
Y

[Ethan19]

Again. It's not black and white. "You can't love anyone else before you love your self". Do you thereby mean, that it's impossible to put someone else before yourself because it means that you literally must hate your self?
You CAN love your self and still think positively about other people.
And putting someone else before your self doesn't mean you are a slave.
I'm not saying you should do that without the partner having you as first priority.
I agree this way of life can make selfish people be more selfish. So you are right. In this age of selfies and self-promotion, for most people this may NOT work.
I just understood the question of the thread as hypothetical and what I see as a great quality.
Not being selfish works for me and my partner, cause we are able to control the ME ME ME urge and think WE WE WE instead :-D

I think you've misunderstood what I said based off your first paragraph? I dont think it means you hate yourself, but discussing what I think that line means is something completely different. I think I it is a prerequisite to a relationship though, do you not?

I have no doubt that you can love yourself and think well of others, I do have a boyfriend after all ��

I think I understand more of what you meant now. You meant that you put them as your #1 priority and they do the same with you, so it 'cancels out' the not putting yourself first. Interesting, but I think this is inherently impossible.

I do think it's a great quality, I just think if it's taken too literal, it can become a fallacy. Also, I would like to say because you can think in favour of your relationship, doesn't necessarily mean you're putting the other first (sounds counter-intuitive but give it a think) . I like the use of the word control too, it's quite suggestive.

Oh and I'm happy you responded without taking it as an attack. I think it's fun to discuss this stuff

[kayin]

I think you've misunderstood what I said based off your first paragraph? I dont think it means you hate yourself, but discussing what I think that line means is something completely different. I think I it is a prerequisite to a relationship though, do you not?

I have no doubt that you can love yourself and think well of others, I do have a boyfriend after all ��

I think I understand more of what you meant now. You meant that you put them as your #1 priority and they do the same with you, so it 'cancels out' the not putting yourself first. Interesting, but I think this is inherently impossible.

I do think it's a great quality, I just think if it's taken too literal, it can become a fallacy. Also, I would like to say because you can think in favour of your relationship, doesn't necessarily mean you're putting the other first (sounds counter-intuitive but give it a think) . I like the use of the word control too, it's quite suggestive.

Oh and I'm happy you responded without taking it as an attack. I think it's fun to discuss this stuff

I also agree with it

[Allover Kelly]

Be able to talk to me as an equal and trust me. Oh and no drinking or doing drugs of any kind.

[Henry333]

ill answer for what i look for in a girl: someone who i can just be my goofy self around. like nothing we do is weird and the strange things we do can sometimes turn out to be the sexiest

[SamanthainCalifornia]

There's lots of quality's and they should all be equally important. Good communication, trusting, non abusive both physically, emotionally, mentally and verbally. Him getting along with your parents and siblings is important. Sense of humor. Loving, passionate and romantic. Always putting you first. Respect. No drinking or doing drugs. No cheating.

[Falcons_11]

Honesty
Sincerity
Integrity
Trustworthiness
Dependability
Just to name a few.

[Lyonella]

Honesty & trust

[ItIsKai]

Honesty mainly i think

[KAG2020]

Single most important thing is to be honest about who you are and what they want. Believe me, I had a lying, cheating, backstabbing boyfriend for awhile and it was a disaster. You have to be true to yourself. Don’t make things up and don’t put on a fake face just to get the person to like you.

[Shaythen]

Honesty, Giving, Forgiving, Open, Funny, Sincere, Loyal

[BJade]

Some one who makes your day seem great even if it's a dark, wet, cold day, when nothing seems to be doing right for you

And doesn't keep secrets or lie to you (apart from when theres a reason like surprise gifts, or if your hairs terrible and he doesn't want to hurt your feelings)

And wants to make everyday and everything you do together great for both of you. So he's not just bothered about his enjoyment but that your enjoying it just as much, if not more ;)