Mother is gone and I feel nothing

[Allover Kelly]

On Sunday my Dad got a call from someone in Miami FL to let me know my Mom is gone a few weeks ago. She died from a drug overdose and drinking. After I went though hell with her for my first 11 years of my life. When my Dad told me I felt nothing, well in a way I felt good knowing she can never try and take me from my family now. My dad said they want to know what to do with her ashes later. I told my case worker today to let them know that I did not care what they did with them and that I sure did not want them.
Some might say that I should feel something but she was dead to me the first time the state of FL took me and she never came to court for anything.
Now I can really start the life with my Dad and my new family.

Thanks, Just had to get this out.

[ska8er]

I don't see y u have to feel anything
but u vented and that's OK.

[Xuan]

I am glad you got that out. Sometimes you have to do that. First off, I am sorry you had to go through all of that crap your whole life and I can totally understand how she can be totally dead to you after how miserable she made your life. Sometimes even the people you are suppose to be the closest to in life make your life miserable and you have to cut them out of your life to make it better for you. Now go live your life with your new family and dad. Enjoy it and have loads of fun. You have a whole life to live.

[Second Chance]

On Sunday my Dad got a call from someone in Miami FL to let me know my Mom is gone a few weeks ago. She died from a drug overdose and drinking. After I went though hell with her for my first 11 years of my life. When my Dad told me I felt nothing, well in a way I felt good knowing she can never try and take me from my family now. My dad said they want to know what to do with her ashes later. I told my case worker today to let them know that I did not care what they did with them and that I sure did not want them.
Some might say that I should feel something but she was dead to me the first time the state of FL took me and she never came to court for anything.
Now I can really start the life with my Dad and my new family.

Thanks, Just had to get this out.

I am sorry to hear about your Mother's death under such unfortunate circumstances, and I completely sympathize with your perspective especially since your Mother had issues. There is no question your Mother did a lot to hurt you, and I cannot blame you at all for your feelings which is normal. In a way, I am sure you feel relief that your Mother is not a weight hanging over you especially if she had been someone who would suddenly show up in your life and cause all sorts of chaos. No question you need stability in your life which is something your Mother could never provide for you in light of her issues. You should not feel badly for not feeling anything about her death especially since she is someone who made bad decisions that caused you pain.

I would say that you should focus on the future and build yourself up with your Father and your new family. With that being said it would be good if you can have closure for your time period with your Mother. Assuming you would not be on the hook for a large expense for taking possession of your Mother's ashes, then it would not be a bad idea to give her some sort of burial or resting place. At very least you have done your duty even if your Mother never completed her obligations to you and be the better person. Of course, if handling your Mother's ashes would be too much for you to handle or something that would cause you further pain, then it will be ultimately her family members who will have to decide on what to do.

No matter what do not feel guilty if you do not feel anything, and all you can do is make a good future for yourself by learning from the mistakes you have seen growing up.

[ImJulia]

If you ever need someone to talk to message me.