lack of contact between friends

[denma]

so back in elementary life was extremely fun, always had someone to be with no matter who it was and we were always out doing stupid stuff that kids usually do
i remember, EVERY single day i would take one friend with me at home after school and play with him for hours no end, then later i would call my other friend and ask him if i could come to his house and play together, mess around, you know
and while we were there we would call other people to come over and basically, every day was like a fun party

which brings me to the present, now it's the polar opposite, i have a ton of friends but i'm always alone in my room except for when i decide to go for a short walk, which is when i mostly see my friends outside of school nowadays.
this is starting to have a negative effect on me, i miss those times where every day me and the boys all hanged out and had a great time
i dont use instagram or messenger because it's just not my thing personally, so this also makes things harder for me
also while i do attend the same school as my elementary friends, i've basically lost contact with all of them except for 1 because they have moved on to different friendships and that's honestly the saddest thing to me

anyways, do you guys have any suggestions on how i can start hanging out outside of school with people again? the scariest feeling for me is missing out, and when i'm the only loser that stays inside all day then you know how i must feel

[ArfyMcPeesh]

Yes I feel the same way. I used to always hang out with people or go to their house or whatever but since we started high school I’ve been more and more alone. I had snap and insta and Twitter but barely used them but now I can’t find people to hang out with, everyone seems to be busy or something. I’m on here and other social media bc I can’t find anyone to be with. Not that I’m not trying but it’s just not happening which sucks. If you find out the trick let me know!

[antandlope]

I think we all have something called FOMO at some point, which is entirely normal. Humans are social beings and want to be around others.

To get around this you can ask your friends at school to come over to your house/plan a day out etc (even if it’s just one friend who decides to come). Also, since you don’t use social media, it’s important that you get their phone numbers. Apart from keeping in touch, you can spontaneously organise things to do - really helpful when you’re bored/lonely.

[BlackParadePixie]

No offense but it sounds like you lost contact with everyone because YOU failed to make an effort to keep those friendships alive. Relationships are a two way street...if you want to hang out with someone, then call them and plan something....don't just always wait for the other person to make the first move.

[ska8er]

We all feel alone at times in our life. When we
were small we had more friends our age to play
with and it seemed like we didn't have a care in
the world. It is summed up in the movie
Stand By Me:

“I never had any friends later on like the ones I
had when I was 12. Jesus-does anyone?"

It defines "coming of age" and the heart
of childhood friendships.

As we get older many of our friends leave
to college or move to new neighborhoods
and we no longer keep in touch cause we
r now growing up and leaving most of our
past behind us. The best thing I can say is
to start to make new friends. Join a club or
a gym or even hang out at the library. Any
place where others meet. Its not to give up
on ur own friends-try to keep in touch.

[ArfyMcPeesh]

No offense but it sounds like you lost contact with everyone because YOU failed to make an effort to keep those friendships alive. Relationships are a two way street...if you want to hang out with someone, then call them and plan something....don't just always wait for the other person to make the first move.

In his defense I ask people on a daily basis and I get a lot of “oh I’m going with...” and it’s usually with a significant other. Which I get, but some of us have a hard time finding someone. I have tried making plans and I’ve had no luck. Tonight I dmed and called 5 ppl and not one could do anything tonight or tomorrow, so you can’t really say I’m not making an effort

[BlackParadePixie]

In his defense I ask people on a daily basis and I get a lot of “oh I’m going with...” and it’s usually with a significant other. Which I get, but some of us have a hard time finding someone. I have tried making plans and I’ve had no luck. Tonight I dmed and called 5 ppl and not one could do anything tonight or tomorrow, so you can’t really say I’m not making an effort
but at least you're making an effort.

[ArfyMcPeesh]

but at least you're making an effort.
Yeah but it gets frustrating when no one is available. Or they’re available but not interested

[BlackParadePixie]

Yeah but it gets frustrating when no one is available. Or they’re available but not interested
try making plans a few days ahead of time...not the day of. If I called my friends up right now at 6:30 on a Friday night...yeah, they'd most likely all be busy.

[ska8er]

Unless u have a clique like a group
of buddies or even girls and guys
that meet every weekend say to
socialize and keep together-you
r not going to always find some
one who has time or wants to go
out. As you get older many people
seem to want to do their own thing.
BTW when I said clique I didn't mean
some groups that stick together and
not want or shut out other people.

[denma]

No offense but it sounds like you lost contact with everyone because YOU failed to make an effort to keep those friendships alive. Relationships are a two way street...if you want to hang out with someone, then call them and plan something....don't just always wait for the other person to make the first move.

yeah, i guess you're right
i'm not sure if this is a valid reason but i just gave up on making plans myself since years ago when i tried doing so everyone would decline some way or another (they had their reasons though)
it's not like they were trying to avoid me either, since everyone back then found me fun to be around and i was usually the type of guy people would constantly ask "can i sit with you here?", "can i sit with you there?"

i tried too many times and all attempts ended like that, so that kind of changed me
i guess it's still my fault though, giving up probably wasn't the best option

there was a time where that actually worked though, and that was when i told my group of friends that i was building a pc and i needed their help
they accepted with no hesitation unlike the previous times, not sure why
we all had a lot of fun as well

[ArfyMcPeesh]

Like today, we had track practice and one of my friends asked my other friend what time should he be at his house, and they had basically made plans yesterday when I asked if anything was going on, and they said no. So today after they realized I was not invited but heard the convo, they were all well were taking the girls... so I miss out bc I don’t have a girlfriend, not that they couldn’t have asked or looked for a girl to go along just as a friend for me, but whatever.

Sometimes people don’t think about anything besides themselves and I guess that’s normal

[denma]

Like today, we had track practice and one of my friends asked my other friend what time should he be at his house, and they had basically made plans yesterday when I asked if anything was going on, and they said no. So today after they realized I was not invited but heard the convo, they were all well were taking the girls... so I miss out bc I don’t have a girlfriend, not that they couldn’t have asked or looked for a girl to go along just as a friend for me, but whatever.

Sometimes people don’t think about anything besides themselves and I guess that’s normal

damn that sucks dude
it's not that rough in my case, as in i'm sure i will be allowed to come if i just ask but the fact that they don't tell me in the first place makes me think as if i'm not wanted and that i would bring them to a difficult position
guess i should man up and try though, these are supposed to be the best years of my life and i shouldn't stand idly by behind a screen

keep updating me if you manage to change anything