stitchmeup
March 20th, 2019, 06:38 AM
So basically, I'm 16, never been in a real relationship and this is all new to me. I know that as a teenager, it's going to be messy and confusing and all that but I hate this feeling and I regret rushing into the relationship that I did. To give context, last year three boys liked me. I'll call them A, B and C :confused: A had liked me since like year 9 (I'm currently in year 11) B was a friend who grew to like me last year, and C I had spoken to on and off for a while - so I kinda knew them all. The thing was that I couldn't listen to myself. I was so influenced by the thoughts of others - and me, being the pushover I am, took into account what everyone said.
My friends would make fun of A, even though he was sweet and gave me chocolates, flowers, stayed with me in the nurses office one time after school but he also had anger/emotional problems himself.
B was funny but again some of my friends would be like "No, he's so annoying, don't trust him etc." Although he made me laugh and stuff whenever we hung out. It always felt, comfortable.
C, was the least 'problematic'. All my friends loved him and I saw how he was different to the others. He really is one of the most decent, if not the only, person in my year. And I had gone on a couple dates with him, yet I would always feel awkward, even now. We could only really talk online.
Late last year was when this whole dilemma came crashing down. :what: My bestest friend, who I love so so much was basically wing-manning all three of them. And she told me everything too. I wasn't talking much with A but I knew he still liked me. B, I was close to - his confession literally gave me butterflies in my stomach? but my friends thought he was "eh boring" and my best friend was really hyping up C. What makes all this better - B and C are best friends ! :yes:
I can't recall everything to detail, it really happened that fast but me, my BFF, B and C hung out one time and this was when I decided to listen to my friends and just go with C, they all thought he was the best option. "If you're not dating him by the end of this year!!!" they all said. I went with it and I told B I couldn't go out with him. All the while A was unaware. So then a couple of days/weeks later, my best friend says "C you like her right?" and C replies with a yes. She turns to me "And you like C?" I said yes. I don't know what to do because I believed it at the time - I really believed I liked him. At the time I truly did, but I don't know why... Because I don't think that liking someone is meant to feel like this - I wouldn't be having doubts this quickly, if I truly wanted him right? And what sucks is that I always think of what could've been if I had chosen A or B. Why do I still care about what they think of me if I'm in this "relationship" with C?
Am I just an attention seeker?
My best friend recently mentioned something I had noticed too, she said she may have pressured this relationship I have with C because she wanted one herself and was projecting. Which I completely agree with, because I would be perfectly fine being alone.
Anyways - now my conflict is: I want to end this thing I have with C, but how should I? I know he'd be so hurt - but I want to rip off this band-aid and do something for myself. And I don't want him to think it's because of him. I just don't think I ever really wanted a relationship or to date.
I think after I eventually break it off, I should just forget about all of them, but a part of me wishes I never "dated" in the first place. And I'm so :mad:
I don't know if I'll ever get a reply on this, but yeah please give me advice.
TLDR: I want to end things with my bf but I don't know when or how.
My friends would make fun of A, even though he was sweet and gave me chocolates, flowers, stayed with me in the nurses office one time after school but he also had anger/emotional problems himself.
B was funny but again some of my friends would be like "No, he's so annoying, don't trust him etc." Although he made me laugh and stuff whenever we hung out. It always felt, comfortable.
C, was the least 'problematic'. All my friends loved him and I saw how he was different to the others. He really is one of the most decent, if not the only, person in my year. And I had gone on a couple dates with him, yet I would always feel awkward, even now. We could only really talk online.
Late last year was when this whole dilemma came crashing down. :what: My bestest friend, who I love so so much was basically wing-manning all three of them. And she told me everything too. I wasn't talking much with A but I knew he still liked me. B, I was close to - his confession literally gave me butterflies in my stomach? but my friends thought he was "eh boring" and my best friend was really hyping up C. What makes all this better - B and C are best friends ! :yes:
I can't recall everything to detail, it really happened that fast but me, my BFF, B and C hung out one time and this was when I decided to listen to my friends and just go with C, they all thought he was the best option. "If you're not dating him by the end of this year!!!" they all said. I went with it and I told B I couldn't go out with him. All the while A was unaware. So then a couple of days/weeks later, my best friend says "C you like her right?" and C replies with a yes. She turns to me "And you like C?" I said yes. I don't know what to do because I believed it at the time - I really believed I liked him. At the time I truly did, but I don't know why... Because I don't think that liking someone is meant to feel like this - I wouldn't be having doubts this quickly, if I truly wanted him right? And what sucks is that I always think of what could've been if I had chosen A or B. Why do I still care about what they think of me if I'm in this "relationship" with C?
Am I just an attention seeker?
My best friend recently mentioned something I had noticed too, she said she may have pressured this relationship I have with C because she wanted one herself and was projecting. Which I completely agree with, because I would be perfectly fine being alone.
Anyways - now my conflict is: I want to end this thing I have with C, but how should I? I know he'd be so hurt - but I want to rip off this band-aid and do something for myself. And I don't want him to think it's because of him. I just don't think I ever really wanted a relationship or to date.
I think after I eventually break it off, I should just forget about all of them, but a part of me wishes I never "dated" in the first place. And I'm so :mad:
I don't know if I'll ever get a reply on this, but yeah please give me advice.
TLDR: I want to end things with my bf but I don't know when or how.