Age difference...

[Emilyfox]

Can a relationship work with a girl and an older guy?
Like not an old man but I’m 13 and I’ve been a bit involved with a guy in his 20s... can it work?
Is it wrong to be into someone more mature/not just a boy?

[Sailor Mars]

Absolutely not. He is a grown man, and if he’s interested in you while you are just barely a teenager, he’s a creep and a predator. I’d recommend distancing yourself from this person

If it were a year or two older, that’s understandable. But he is over 7 years old and an adult

[Spooky_Eli]

No, no it cannot. there is a good chance, hell, huge chance he's a preditory creep.
And No, it's not wrong to be intersted in some one more mature, but i'd recommend trying to find some one closer to 17 or younger to swoon over, aka find some one to still goes to school, preferably your school, and i don't mean one of the teachers.

[Karalectric]

Yikes!! I am with Eli and Sailor here! Even if you are mature for 13, it is hard to believe this guy is looking for anything from you than something physical. Bad vibes!!

[OwlBlue]

I agree with you. 13 and 20 years. Honestly, i don't think a guy who is 20 years and is in his right mind would go out with a girl who is considerably younger. You would be 20 and he would be 27 years, yes. But you're only 13. Honestly, i don't know if i would trust him. You did think it was certainly exciting and many would think the same thing. It's flattering but it's really very awkward. You never know what could happen. A guy who is 14 years would be better. My opinion. My bf is 22 (I'm 17) and he would never date with a girl your age if he was single. It is pretty perverse.

[Karkat]

Coming from a guy in his 20s, that is beyond not ok on his part. He's taking advantage of u, hun. It's not your fault, don't blame yourself, but steer clear

[BlackParadePixie]

a 20 something year old guy is an old man. And if he can't have a normal relationship with someone his own age...he has serious issues.

Abort abort.

[Emilyfox]

Yeah
It’s just so confusing

[Emilyfox]

Ended things
Not an issue anymore

[niceguy44]

Ending it was the best thing to do.

[MasonBA]

sounds like you made a mature, safe decision by ending it. Hope it wasn't painful for you

[Pultost]

Glad you ended it, you made the right choice.

[Lionsden04]

Ended things
Not an issue anymore

Good for you

[jasondrums]

Ending it is a good call.

[rgconrad23]

It’s hard having someone show an interest in you. They can come across so genuine and kind. But you totally did the right thing. My cousin, 14, had a neighborhood guy, 20+, that would always walk with us to school or be waiting for us when we were headed home. So creepy and she was totally gaga over him. Finally, while we kept telling her to beak it off she wouldn’t. So, I had a principal come out one day and speak to him. My cousin didn’t know it was me and the principal was totally cool keeping my cover. He also called my aunt and uncle. So happy that was over.

[Pultost]

It’s hard having someone show an interest in you. They can come across so genuine and kind. But you totally did the right thing. My cousin, 14, had a neighborhood guy, 20+, that would always walk with us to school or be waiting for us when we were headed home. So creepy and she was totally gaga over him. Finally, while we kept telling her to beak it off she wouldn’t. So, I had a principal come out one day and speak to him. My cousin didn’t know it was me and the principal was totally cool keeping my cover. He also called my aunt and uncle. So happy that was over.

That's really creepy, glad the principal could help out and end it. I can understand finding 20+ guys attractive, I'm no exception there, but it stops in my mind.

[Falcons_11]

Ended things
Not an issue anymore

Emily, you made the right decision. Good for you. :)

[Sheaman17]

Way too old I’m sorry

[Lindsaylovesyou]

Ending it was definitely the best move. He shouldn’t be even thinking about a relationship with someone your age

[Emilyfox]

Yes, you certainly did the correct thing by wishing not to let him enter your body.

If he's an old man he's just a perv trying to deflower your body to make his wrinkled old pole feel good. That seriously stinks.

He’s 25 it’s not wrinkled and old it’s perfect and i can’t describe how amazing it felt

[Spooky_Eli]

He’s 25 it’s not wrinkled and old it’s perfect and i can’t describe how amazing it felt

You had sex with him?

[Emilyfox]

You had sex with him?


We played scrabble

[Spooky_Eli]

We played scrabble

Are you being sarcastic?

[Emilyfox]

Are you being sarcastic?

Possibly, I don’t want to get in trouble

[Spooky_Eli]

Possibly, I don’t want to get in trouble

...huh. I see.

[Uniquemind]

It’s not the end of the world.

If the relationship at its core was really wholesome, he’d wait 7 years.

[Spooky_Eli]

It’s not the end of the world.

If the relationship at its core was really wholesome, he’d wait 7 years.
If Elvis did it, he can do it too..

[Uniquemind]

If Elvis did it, he can do it too..

The late David Bowie had sex with a 14 year old groupie who is I think 70+ ish now?


While I agree the law of 18 is a good barometer of what is and isn’t legal, I do want to suggest it’s not always correct either. It’s just nobody who has had relationships positively that cross that age gap are going to come forward and you’re only going to hear about the negatives.

That’s also not to say those who are both 18+, aren’t in a toxic relationship. I just hear about a famous Youtuber who dated this guy who by all appearances had a NICE house, fancy cars, paperwork saying he was pursuing a doctorate degree, but at the end of the day upon further investigation was probably part of the criminal underworld, and was planning to sell her and their baby to human trafficking ring.


Relationship or going into one makes you want to keep your wits about you, but it’s very hard because you don’t want to give off a sense of mistrust or paranoia because your afraid of turning a romance opportunity into a souring experience of being paranoid.


I’ve seen age gap relationships work, but I’ve also seen them get abusive.


In my personal experience my last relationship had an age gap, but it just didn’t work out because life took us in two separate directions. For me school keeps me grounded unable to travel etc. But it limits your partner’s.


The rationale from my ex, was that he too when he was my age, didn’t date much in his schooling as he was naturally shy, and while older his life revolves around academic nose-to-book lifestyle.


The main barometers of ANY relationship is are they slowly isolating you, are they commandeering you’re legal identity slowly, do they promote your schooling like your parents do or are they an obstacle to it?


I find that if you DO date older, there has to be extra precautions and awareness of how things go south/negative as a process. Their also needs to be a healthy skepticism on your part to also not get “swept up off your feet” to the point where you kinda worship them.



If the relationship or any relationship is overtly sexual, that’s also a HUGE red flag and I also mean a super red flag.


But if an age gap relationship is a slow open courtship and hopefully non-sexual in the beginning I don’t see a problem inherently.

[Spooky_Eli]

The late David Bowie had sex with a 14 year old groupie who is I think 70+ ish now?


While I agree the law of 18 is a good barometer of what is and isn’t legal, I do want to suggest it’s not always correct either. It’s just nobody who has had relationships positively that cross that age gap are going to come forward and you’re only going to hear about the negatives.

That’s also not to say those who are both 18+, aren’t in a toxic relationship. I just hear about a famous Youtuber who dated this guy who by all appearances had a NICE house, fancy cars, paperwork saying he was pursuing a doctorate degree, but at the end of the day upon further investigation was probably part of the criminal underworld, and was planning to sell her and their baby to human trafficking ring.


Relationship or going into one makes you want to keep your wits about you, but it’s very hard because you don’t want to give off a sense of mistrust or paranoia because your afraid of turning a romance opportunity into a souring experience of being paranoid.


I’ve seen age gap relationships work, but I’ve also seen them get abusive.


In my personal experience my last relationship had an age gap, but it just didn’t work out because life took us in two separate directions. For me school keeps me grounded unable to travel etc. But it limits your partner’s.


The rationale from my ex, was that he too when he was my age, didn’t date much in his schooling as he was naturally shy, and while older his life revolves around academic nose-to-book lifestyle.


The main barometers of ANY relationship is are they slowly isolating you, are they commandeering you’re legal identity slowly, do they promote your schooling like your parents do or are they an obstacle to it?


I find that if you DO date older, there has to be extra precautions and awareness of how things go south/negative as a process. Their also needs to be a healthy skepticism on your part to also not get “swept up off your feet” to the point where you kinda worship them.



If the relationship or any relationship is overtly sexual, that’s also a HUGE red flag and I also mean a super red flag.


But if an age gap relationship is a slow open courtship and hopefully non-sexual in the beginning I don’t see a problem inherently.

yeah.. true true, what i was saying was that when Elvis met his first wife, she was 14, but he waited until she was of legal age to marry her(and f*** her)
In other words, i was backing up your point

[Uniquemind]

yeah.. true true, what i was saying was that when Elvis met his first wife, she was 14, but he waited until she was of legal age to marry her(and f*** her)
In other words, i was backing up your point

I know. Rock and roll culture and entertainment industry has a sordid past some of it coming to light from the metoo movement as well.

It’s a big reason why those from more conservative points of view usually dislike the entertainment big money culture. Rock and roll and even further back towards the history of the Blues music, you’ll encounter stories of Satan influencing fame and fortune of various stars and celebrities.

Groupies happen when fame happens, and in my opinion such culture is base and reckless and very high risk for your health.

[Spooky_Eli]

I know. Rock and roll culture and entertainment industry has a sordid past some of it coming to light from the metoo movement as well.

It’s a big reason why those from more conservative points of view usually dislike the entertainment big money culture. Rock and roll and even further back towards the history of the Blues music, you’ll encounter stories of Satan influencing fame and fortune of various stars and celebrities.Hmm, again, very true

[Allover Kelly]

Can a relationship work with a girl and an older guy?
Like not an old man but I’m 13 and I’ve been a bit involved with a guy in his 20s... can it work?
Is it wrong to be into someone more mature/not just a boy?

I will be blunt, NOPE. One it is not legal, Two why would a guy hat age not want to be with a woman his own age. I have been way to many guys due to crap I went though, At 13 you should be out with guys at the most 16.

[Lorraine02]

a 20 something year old guy is an old man. And if he can't have a normal relationship with someone his own age...he has serious issues.

Abort abort.

Yeah totally agree

[Emilyfox]

I get it
I screwed up :/

[Karkat]

I get it
I screwed up :/

Don't blame yourself. Blame the fucking disgusting tool who took away your innocence, manipulated you, and used you.

Are you ok?

[Emilyfox]

Don't blame yourself. Blame the fucking disgusting tool who took away your innocence, manipulated you, and used you.

Are you ok?

My innocence?

[Karkat]

My innocence?

You had sex with him, right? You don't have to answer, it's more rhetorical than anything.

[RileyX]

My innocence?

I think he means virginity

[Emilyfox]

I think he means virginity


Ohhh

No

That was someone else

[Emilyfox]

You had sex with him, right? You don't have to answer, it's more rhetorical than anything.


Why does having sex with someone make me not innocent?

[Karkat]

Why does having sex with someone make me not innocent?

In and of itself, it doesn’t
But if a young girl is being seduced by an adult man, that’s a completely different story

[SamanthainCalifornia]

He’s 25 it’s not wrinkled and old it’s perfect and i can’t describe how amazing it felt

You're only 13 and he is 25? Eww! He sounds like a disgusting creep. If this was in California he would get 25 to life

[Emilyfox]

You're only 13 and he is 25? Eww! He sounds like a disgusting creep. If this was in California he would get 25 to life

Yeah
Well ended it and avoid him now so it’s not an issue anymore

[Spooky_Eli]

Why does having sex with someone make me not innocent?

Generally the benchmark foe Innocence in the non-legal sence is:
Is she/he a virgin?
Is she/he nieve?

If you are not a virgin nor nieve then you have lost your Innocence.

[Emilyfox]

Generally the benchmark foe Innocence in the non-legal sence is:
Is she/he a virgin?
Is she/he nieve?

If you are not a virgin nor nieve then you have lost your Innocence.

What about boys?
Does it count for them? Or is it only if they get it up the butt?

[Spooky_Eli]

What about boys?
Does it count for them? Or is it only if they get it up the butt?

Did you not notice the interchangible she/he?
'getting it up the butt' would count, obviously, but so would intercourse with a girl being pentitrated by the boy. and other sex acts count too.

[Emilyfox]

Did you not notice the interchangible she/he?
'getting it up the butt' would count, obviously, but so would intercourse with a girl being pentitrated by the boy. and other sex acts count too.

Sorry focused on the she
Guess I’m sexist lol

Just this whole innocence thing sounds so archaic

Like I’m soiled goods now

[Spooky_Eli]

Sorry focused on the she
Guess I’m sexist lol

Just this whole innocence thing sounds so archaic

Like I’m soiled goods now
lol, it's all good,

Well, it is, kind of, its more the attitudes people have to it that are archaic, it's true that you may not have your innocence anymore, and some folks out there may think of you as 'soiled goods' but pay them no heed,, and never think that of your self or others, you not having your Inoccence is simply symantics

[Emilyfox]

lol, it's all good,

Well, it is, kind of, its more the attitudes people have to it that are archaic, it's true that you may not have your innocence anymore, and some folks out there may think of you as 'soiled goods' but pay them no heed,, and never think that of your self or others, you not having your Inoccence is simply symantics

:-) :wub:

[Xuan]

Emilyfox, there is something wrong here. I am not saying anything that you are doing is wrong in crushing on someone older because I think most girls have done it , but some guy 25 years old who should be out of college and focusing on a career and he is interested in dating a 13 year old who is in Middle School there is something wrong with that. He should definitely have totally different interests than you like starting his career, buying a home, not dating a kid. This is my advice to you Emily and I am saying this as a concerned person for you, distance yourself from this guy because you are going to get really hurt.