17 feel like it’s all been a waste

[skittlesh]

I’m now 17 entering into my last two years of ‘high school’ (gonna go with American terms) and I just feel like I’ve wasted it all.

I’ve never done anything fun almost never. All my life I wanted to be an actor I worked so hard on the theatre thinking that would get me famous as a child so I could finally leave this dull country life. But I live in the outbacks of the U.K. not many chances for film or even theatre. I’m just so down that I never achieved that goal.

Now I’m also down about wasting High school. I have a fewww friends but non every close. I’ve been to a total of like two parties and never done anything even slightly Risky. I’ve been the perfect child. I study occasionally not as much as
I could but I don’t drink every weekend and go on mad benders some teusday casue we were always told that all these drugs kill your brain and body. Well every on these drugs perform 10x better than me in most tests how is that fair why don’t they pay the price for hard core drug abuse.

I’ve never done anything sexual. I’m 17 ffs and never even kissed someone that’s messed up. In my life I had one amazingly close friend who we shared everything. Everything. Then one day he left me. That also left me pretty messed up as we used to check
If everythjng down stairs was the same suddenly my guide to puberty left me. Also my closest friend left me. And IMHO I think I maybe crushed on him slightly.

I just seem to be in this sad rut were I’ve deemed my life over. Once I hit 18 that’s life finished I can’t have fun or make mistakes or do anything like that.

Everything I do I do to now get into a good University and of that doesn’t go to plan then what will it all have been for. I’m not a nerd. I fact that stereotype hardly exists at my school now. All the fit athletic kids are of course also the smart ones.

Top it all of I’ve got made sexuality issues. Gay Bi gay Bi who knows

Just everything is getting me Down.

[ska8er]

I think what u r having is an anxiety attack.
Ur life is not over it is only starting and I would
strive to get through high school and set ur sights
on going on to a university maybe studying acting
if u feel that is what is in ur heart. U r going thru
many issues. I would just take a deep breath and
then chill for awhile. Do ur best to try and make
new friends and join a club in school to find some
one who has the same interests as u. Talk to people
and ask questions to find out what they like to do or
what things they r into and then admire them. Im
sure there r things about u that other people will
find interests in. The sexuality issues u should try
and find a support group as a LGBT to talk to some
one to answer ur questions. There u might find some
one who u can befriend. Its not the end of the world.
Make the best of it.

[skittlesh]

I think what u r having is an anxiety attack.
Ur life is not over it is only starting and I would
strive to get through high school and set ur sights
on going on to a university maybe studying acting
if u feel that is what is in ur heart. U r going thru
many issues. I would just take a deep breath and
then chill for awhile. Do ur best to try and make
new friends and join a club in school to find some
one who has the same interests as u. Talk to people
and ask questions to find out what they like to do or
what things they r into and then admire them. Im
sure there r things about u that other people will
find interests in. The sexuality issues u should try
and find a support group as a LGBT to talk to some
one to answer ur questions. There u might find some
one who u can befriend. Its not the end of the world.
Make the best of it.
Thank you this helped!

[Second Chance]

I’m now 17 entering into my last two years of ‘high school’ (gonna go with American terms) and I just feel like I’ve wasted it all.

I’ve never done anything fun almost never. All my life I wanted to be an actor I worked so hard on the theatre thinking that would get me famous as a child so I could finally leave this dull country life. But I live in the outbacks of the U.K. not many chances for film or even theatre. I’m just so down that I never achieved that goal.

At 17 you are hardly an old person, and many people do not break into theatre or related fields well into their 30s. You have plenty of time to get your big break, and you should use this time to refine your skills to make yourself marketable. There are even a couple of actors who did not get their big break until their 50s, and it really depends a lot on luck when it comes to the theatre and acting.

As for where you are being boring or off the beaten path, my thinking is that if acting parts are not exactly coming your way where you are, then get into a field related to the theatre. For example, one big part of theatre is stage crew, and if you can build up skills with carpentry, then that can translate into set design. Otherwise, find other elements of theatre which may have links where you are so that when you eventually make it to the big city that you have a bunch of skills that can get your foot in the door.

Now I’m also down about wasting High school. I have a fewww friends but non every close.

I am sorry to hear that you do not have a lot of friends, but if where you are is rural, then that is not unusual because there honestly may not be many people you can have as friends. What counts is quality friends and not a quantity of them, and if you have even one or two high quality friends, then consider yourself lucky. There are plenty of people out there who have no friends.

If you need to find a close friend, then that might take some work on your part. You have to get involved in the right areas and also be flexible enough to adjust to realities where you live just in case people are not exactly into your interests. It is not easy to find close friends, but you just have to put yourself out there until you get lucky. You might get hurt a bunch of times or get frustrated not finding anyone, but your time will come if you keep on trying.

I’ve been to a total of like two parties and never done anything even slightly Risky. I’ve been the perfect child. I study occasionally not as much as
I could but I don’t drink every weekend and go on mad benders some teusday casue we were always told that all these drugs kill your brain and body. Well every on these drugs perform 10x better than me in most tests how is that fair why don’t they pay the price for hard core drug abuse.

I would say you are a success that you do not feel the need to use external substances to do well in life and that you are naturally gifted just the way you are. I actually feel sorry for people who need to use alcohol and drugs to get by in life, and it is pretty sad that such people cannot be themselves but use external things to create a mask. Good for you that you are being yourself and that you have not gone after things that would put you at risk.

I’ve never done anything sexual. I’m 17 ffs and never even kissed someone that’s messed up. In my life I had one amazingly close friend who we shared everything. Everything. Then one day he left me. That also left me pretty messed up as we used to check
If everythjng down stairs was the same suddenly my guide to puberty left me. Also my closest friend left me. And IMHO I think I maybe crushed on him slightly.

As for the sexual part, trust me, you are hardly the only 17 year old virgin out there. Sex is something that needs to happen when you find the right person who cares for you unconditionally and not with someone who is going to treat you or your treating someone else like a sex toy. Even if every single person around you has lost their virginity and you have not does not mean there's something wrong with you. I seriously doubt you are alone with your being a virgin, and you are just a late bloomer and nothing more.

I think the hardest thing is when someone has strong feelings for another and that other person does not feel the same. It is even harder still when that person is not happy about those feelings and leaves. At least you tried to express your feelings towards the others which is to your credit rather than living in denial.

It is pretty bad that your friend that you used to talk puberty with left, and I know that can really mess a person up when something like that happens. It is not like you can go talk to someone else about that issue because that would be awkward. Without knowing the circumstances on why the person had left I do not know if there is much I can tell you about that situation. If either or both of you did something to cause an issue, then just know that mistakes happen in life. Short of killing or maiming the person most people are rational and will forgive others if there is genuine remorse. If the situation was where the person was comparing with you but found someone else and moved on, then that person might have used you which was not right. Whatever happened unfortunately you will have to put the person in the past if the person does not want to interact with you anymore though you can use the good memories you have had with him/her to build new, good ones.

If this means anything, while you did nothing wrong now that you know that a particular person has a different sexuality than you, then it is best to respect it rather than having unrealistic feelings for that person. Just like it would be irrational for anyone to expect you to change your sexuality you cannot expect the same of others.

It can be really tough to lose close friends, but when you think about it, then they really were not friends if they outright left you without trying to make things up. Perhaps this was an opportunity for you to find someone who will respect you as a person as opposed to someone who did not accept you as who you are. Especially if you are in a place where there are not many people it can get really lonely when you loose a friend.

At 17 you have plenty of time to find others, and part of puberty is growing mentally meaning our minds change along with our bodies. Oftentimes the friends we had before and during puberty are not the same ones we have after we are done with it.

I do not want to sound patronizing by saying you will make new friends, but the reality is that if you go away to college or get a job somewhere you will eventually make new friends no matter what. Everything just takes time, but you need to believe in yourself and accept that you are someone of value so that you have the confidence to put yourself out there.

I just seem to be in this sad rut were I’ve deemed my life over. Once I hit 18 that’s life finished I can’t have fun or make mistakes or do anything like that.

I can definitely sense that you are in a rut for the following reasons:

1. Your social life
2. Your academic future/future in general
3. Sexuality
4. Lack of companionship
5. Friend situation

I would tackle the issues that are the easiest to handle rather than trying to do everything at once. One thing over which you probably have the most control is academics since you can study and put effort into it to determine whether or not you get into university or pursue another field.

As for sexuality, as I have mentioned below, I would not focus on it right now since it is not like you are a eunuch, and you will find someone eventually.

As for companionship, do not settle for anyone but rather for the right person. You are going to need to be selective, and things like that take time. Sure, you can jump into bed with anyone at a drop of a hat, but wait until you are with the right person which you will know by that person accepting you for who you are and bringing out the best in you as opposed to just being fun but in reality just being into themselves.

As for friends, once you are in univerity or are working you will find a good group. The reality is that once you're out of high school many of your classmates will do their own thing anyway, and you might not see many of them past high school.

Anyone who tells you that you cannot make a mistake past 18 is an idiot. I am not encouraging you to make mistakes, to get involved in drugs, alcohol, or anything else like that, but if you make a mistake, then that is the human condition.

Everything I do I do to now get into a good University and of that doesn’t go to plan then what will it all have been for. I’m not a nerd. I fact that stereotype hardly exists at my school now. All the fit athletic kids are of course also the smart ones.

Your life is hardly over at 18, and your challenge is to find other options in case university does not work out. You cannot put all your eggs in one basket and watch that basket disappear. Decide on several options so that you have a backup plan if your initial plan does not work out. Do not put too much stress on yourself about this because you have abilities and talents that you need to find. Make sure you're talking out your feelings to someone responsible, and if your family is a good one, then make sure you're being open to them about your concerns. Do not keep things bottled up because you will explode.

You also need to make sure you're comparing apples to apples and oranges to oranges and not mixing up the two. What I mean is that if you are looking at others in your school there is simply no way you can compare to them because you are an individual no different than them. Of course, there are some objective standards like schoolwork, tests, and academics which determine how much knowledge you retain which is a fair measure. However, for things like "athletic, good looking, nerd, etc." are all subjective which you simply cannot determine. Again, my suggestion is to focus on things over which you have control which is clearly academics. You can prepare for class, study for tests, get your schoolwork done, etc., and the more effort you put into that, then the better your outcomes.

The other things are important like having a social life and friends, but the way you deal with that is believing in yourself which is another thing you have control over. Short of being God no person on this Earth is perfect, and it is totally fine to be imperfect.

Top it all of I’ve got made sexuality issues. Gay Bi gay Bi who knows

Just everything is getting me Down.

Sexuality is just a small part of us, and you should not let your sexuality define you. You are a combination of abilities and talents, and those things should stand out in your life. One day you will find a special person to share your sexuality, but until that day comes just focus on educating yourself and building yourself up. If you have strong sexual urges, then masturbate which is always a great way to deal with frustrations. You need to be good at what you are passionate which will give you happiness, and the sexuality part of you will fall into place later on.

[ska8er]

At 17 you are hardly an old person, and many people do not break into theatre or related fields well into their 30s. You have plenty of time to get your big break, and you should use this time to refine your skills to make yourself marketable. There are even a couple of actors who did not get their big break until their 50s, and it really depends a lot on luck when it comes to the theatre and acting.

As for where you are being boring or off the beaten path, my thinking is that if acting parts are not exactly coming your way where you are, then get into a field related to the theatre. For example, one big part of theatre is stage crew, and if you can build up skills with carpentry, then that can translate into set design. Otherwise, find other elements of theatre which may have links where you are so that when you eventually make it to the big city that you have a bunch of skills that can get your foot in the door.



I am sorry to hear that you do not have a lot of friends, but if where you are is rural, then that is not unusual because there honestly may not be many people you can have as friends. What counts is quality friends and not a quantity of them, and if you have even one or two high quality friends, then consider yourself lucky. There are plenty of people out there who have no friends.

If you need to find a close friend, then that might take some work on your part. You have to get involved in the right areas and also be flexible enough to adjust to realities where you live just in case people are not exactly into your interests. It is not easy to find close friends, but you just have to put yourself out there until you get lucky. You might get hurt a bunch of times or get frustrated not finding anyone, but your time will come if you keep on trying.



I would say you are a success that you do not feel the need to use external substances to do well in life and that you are naturally gifted just the way you are. I actually feel sorry for people who need to use alcohol and drugs to get by in life, and it is pretty sad that such people cannot be themselves but use external things to create a mask. Good for you that you are being yourself and that you have not gone after things that would put you at risk.



As for the sexual part, trust me, you are hardly the only 17 year old virgin out there. Sex is something that needs to happen when you find the right person who cares for you unconditionally and not with someone who is going to treat you or your treating someone else like a sex toy. Even if every single person around you has lost their virginity and you have not does not mean there's something wrong with you. I seriously doubt you are alone with your being a virgin, and you are just a late bloomer and nothing more.

I think the hardest thing is when someone has strong feelings for another and that other person does not feel the same. It is even harder still when that person is not happy about those feelings and leaves. At least you tried to express your feelings towards the others which is to your credit rather than living in denial.

If this means anything, while you did nothing wrong now that you know that a particular person has a different sexuality than you, then it is best to respect it rather than having unrealistic feelings for that person. Just like it would be irrational for anyone to expect you to change your sexuality you cannot expect the same of others.

It can be really tough to lose close friends, but when you think about it, then they really were not friends if they outright left you without trying to make things up. Perhaps this was an opportunity for you to find someone who will respect you as a person as opposed to someone who did not accept you as who you are. Especially if you are in a place where there are not many people it can get really lonely when you loose a friend.

At 17 you have plenty of time to find others, and part of puberty is growing mentally meaning our minds change along with our bodies. Oftentimes the friends we had before and during puberty are not the same ones we have after we are done with it.

I do not want to sound patronizing by saying you will make new friends, but the reality is that if you go away to college or get a job somewhere you will eventually make new friends no matter what. Everything just takes time, but you need to believe in yourself and accept that you are someone of value so that you have the confidence to put yourself out there.
I just seem to be in this sad rut were I’ve deemed my life over. Once I hit 18 that’s life finished I can’t have fun or make mistakes or do anything like that.



Your life is hardly over at 18, and your challenge is to find other options in case university does not work out. You cannot put all your eggs in one basket and watch that basket disappear. Decide on several options so that you have a backup plan if your initial plan does not work out. Do not put too much stress on yourself about this because you have abilities and talents that you need to find. Make sure you're talking out your feelings to someone responsible, and if your family is a good one, then make sure you're being open to them about your concerns. Do not keep things bottled up because you will explode.



Sexuality is just a small part of us, and you should not let your sexuality define you. You are a combination of abilities and talents, and those things should stand out in your life. One day you will find a special person to share your sexuality, but until that day comes just focus on educating yourself and building yourself up. If you have strong sexual urges, then masturbate which is always a great way to deal with frustrations. You need to be good at what you are passionate which will give you happiness, and the sexuality part of you will fall into place later on.

Awesome and intelligent advice to a post
and well heeded. I enjoyed reading it. :)

[Sheaman17]

It can feel like that