Friends Gone... Cant make friends... Confused?

[Stranded_at_Sea]

Hi folks, well here goes nothing.

I cant seem to figure this out myself, and ive thought and thought about it but i still cant seem to figure it out...

Through primary school (Elementary school its called in the USA?) i always had my small group of friends, and got on OK wih most in my class, but i had 3 close friends, one of whom was my "best mate'' who i got on really well with for years, since i was about 5-6 i think (im now 16, coming 17 in a few weeks) who i stayed with, always was with, went out with, always had a really great time with, made me laugh, etc etc, but then for a few silly arguments when i was 12-13, we never really spoke again, and i was stupid and kept ignoring him when he tried to re contact me, until we havent spoke again since ( since i was 12-13 ish.).:(

I moved on, and was quiet for a while, then i joined Secondary School (High school)i managed to make a few friends, who i was close ish with, but didnt do a great deal with outside of school with, more "in school friends", Ons i had round for pizza and stuff a few times, but we never really got to be good mates, and now ive left my high school, i have no friends. To be honest ive never really had friends , my in school friends i got on OK with but it was nearly awkward being there. I sort of got used to coming home and being by myself and have got used to doing things alone, not going out with people etc. :confused: if i see someone k know, its usually a quick "hi" then a move on,
or a short, awkard conversation...
.
I left school completley and went to college. I do college 2 days a week, and i work 3 days. I havent truley been out and done anything social with anyone in what seems years, i get home and sit on my computer, sleep, work, in a cycle, weekends i do nothing. Its getting embarising, work colleges say to be "have a good weekend? What did you do?" And i make up some crap about stuff i never done... Oh and ive tried to make friends in college, but it seems i go by myself for lunch every day and sit in a quiet corner...

Ive no idea what im doing wrong, but i cant seem to make, or make and keep friends anymore... Id even love one friend who i can just have a talk with , and maybe do something now and again. Im feeling alone now, and sad when i see people with friends and talking to their friends and yeah...

If you are still reading , good on you, you done well. If this even makes any sense at all, thats a miricle, and sorry if there are spelling mistakes, typed this all on my phone in bed. And speaking of phone, i dont have a record of a phonecall or text from any even sort of friends in the last six months...so yeah, anyway rant over,

Cheers guys,

Mike.

[Harry.]

Yeah I see where you're coming from, I had a few friends in secondary school but once I moved away I didn't really speak to any of them. Same with college, some people just seem more interested in being friends in "the moment" rather than for life.

If I was you I'd have a look in your local area and maybe try joining a group or something, maybe a club or sports activity. You'll have the opportunity to meet new people and maybe even people who find themselves in similar situations. But I understand completely where you're coming from, I meet so many different people but I just don't feel like I have the same connecting friendship that I'd like. Although I'm much closer to people at university than in my years of HS or college, I think it just takes time to find the right people. You just need to put yourself out there and get more involved, sadly they won't come to you.

I hope this helped, if you want to talk feel free to drop me a messgae or reply in this thread.

[abc983055235235231a]

I find that I have certain like personal barriers which make it difficult for me to form and maintain friendships with people. I pretty much alienated the few people I thought of as friends, and I've not really thought of anyone as that much of a friend since.

[Stranded_at_Sea]

Yeah I see where you're coming from, I had a few friends in secondary school but once I moved away I didn't really speak to any of them. Same with college, some people just seem more interested in being friends in "the moment" rather than for life.

If I was you I'd have a look in your local area and maybe try joining a group or something, maybe a club or sports activity. You'll have the opportunity to meet new people and maybe even people who find themselves in similar situations. But I understand completely where you're coming from, I meet so many different people but I just don't feel like I have the same connecting friendship that I'd like. Although I'm much closer to people at university than in my years of HS or college, I think it just takes time to find the right people. You just need to put yourself out there and get more involved, sadly they won't come to you.

I hope this helped, if you want to talk feel free to drop me a messgae or reply in this thread.

Suppose if i dont stick my head out there then ill find nobody, ill keep giving it a shot. Maybe college isnt the right place to find friends, i migh find some in time. Thanks :)

[Stranded_at_Sea]

I find that I have certain like personal barriers which make it difficult for me to form and maintain friendships with people. I pretty much alienated the few people I thought of as friends, and I've not really thought of anyone as that much of a friend since.

I know that feeling, have felt like that before. Im sure we will get there eventually.

[BreakFall]

Idol how tonsupport sorry

[Stranded_at_Sea]

Idol how tonsupport sorry

No problem, more of a post to get this all out of my head which helped.

[Body odah Man]

Hi folks, well here goes nothing.

I cant seem to figure this out myself, and ive thought and thought about it but i still cant seem to figure it out...

Through primary school (Elementary school its called in the USA?) i always had my small group of friends, and got on OK wih most in my class, but i had 3 close friends, one of whom was my "best mate'' who i got on really well with for years, since i was about 5-6 i think (im now 16, coming 17 in a few weeks) who i stayed with, always was with, went out with, always had a really great time with, made me laugh, etc etc, but then for a few silly arguments when i was 12-13, we never really spoke again, and i was stupid and kept ignoring him when he tried to re contact me, until we havent spoke again since ( since i was 12-13 ish.).:(

I moved on, and was quiet for a while, then i joined Secondary School (High school)i managed to make a few friends, who i was close ish with, but didnt do a great deal with outside of school with, more "in school friends", Ons i had round for pizza and stuff a few times, but we never really got to be good mates, and now ive left my high school, i have no friends. To be honest ive never really had friends , my in school friends i got on OK with but it was nearly awkward being there. I sort of got used to coming home and being by myself and have got used to doing things alone, not going out with people etc. :confused: if i see someone k know, its usually a quick "hi" then a move on,
or a short, awkard conversation...
.
I left school completley and went to college. I do college 2 days a week, and i work 3 days. I havent truley been out and done anything social with anyone in what seems years, i get home and sit on my computer, sleep, work, in a cycle, weekends i do nothing. Its getting embarising, work colleges say to be "have a good weekend? What did you do?" And i make up some crap about stuff i never done... Oh and ive tried to make friends in college, but it seems i go by myself for lunch every day and sit in a quiet corner...

Ive no idea what im doing wrong, but i cant seem to make, or make and keep friends anymore... Id even love one friend who i can just have a talk with , and maybe do something now and again. Im feeling alone now, and sad when i see people with friends and talking to their friends and yeah...

If you are still reading , good on you, you done well. If this even makes any sense at all, thats a miricle, and sorry if there are spelling mistakes, typed this all on my phone in bed. And speaking of phone, i dont have a record of a phonecall or text from any even sort of friends in the last six months...so yeah, anyway rant over,

Cheers guys,

Mike.

I feel ya man-and seriously this is a pretty sad post. I too am very un-social and have few friends, while secretly desiring more so I get the agony and sadness you feel. Hopefully things will work out with you some day.

[JamesSuperBoy]

No problem, more of a post to get this all out of my head which helped.

School mates can be great mates or not - thing is you are all just thrown together and have little in common apart from age and school. I think it is a cycle thing the more people you know the more likely it is you meet new friends and so on. College can be the same but you have to make some sort of effort - I just thought as well if you just make up stuff why would others invite you to anything - they might just think you are busy so be honest. you could say " not a lot and ask what they did or better suggest a few things and see what happens

[BreakFall]

Glad I could help