Socially awkward and get nervous when talking to people

[plebble]

I get very nervous when talking to people. I sometimes get embarrassed and end up mixing my sentences up or mispronouncing words. Sometimes I might say something completely stupid and things I don't mean. I've been socially awkward all my life and I am trying to become normal, but I don't talk to people often. I'm always alone in and out of school, I spend all my free time in my bedroom on the internet. I never talk to anyone face-to-face, only rarely in school. I am awful at meeting new people. The majority of my friends I know only on the internet because I can't seem to talk to real life people. I'm going to university in September and I'm very worried about how I'm going to act, what if people decide they hate me on the first day? What if I have no friends for a further 4 years? I don't know what to do. This has become a real issue for me.

[BreakFall]

Stay calm go with the flow and put yourself out there Good luck

[Katiya]

Well just be your self. You may have this problem because you are trying to be someone your not. If ur not outgoing, don't try to be. It doesn't really fool anyone for very long.

I have tried in school to be a "normal girl" and well I do like lots of girl things I also like other things. And it got boring to hang with people who only wanted to talk and do a select few things. So we went our separate ways and I found new people who had similar interests. Maybe not as many but a few friends with common interest are a whole lot more fun than a bunch who don't

So if your silly, be silly, if your shy, be shy. Loud, be loud and so on. People will like you for who you are not what you pretend to be.

I'm quite a person and I still manage to have a few friends. Good friends, not fakes. :) be your self and sooner or later you will make a friend.

[ksdnfkfr]

I have heard it said by people I know with Aspergers that it is easier to socialize once you get to get to university, because it's a different environment.

[EddietheZombie]

I'm semi-social. I pick who i want to talk to and if they are "worthy". If I have to deal with people, i act in a similar way. You're probably antisocial or semi-social.

[NeuroTiger]

Make your university life a new start to your social life.
For me, it seems that you lack the required self-confidence.
To begin...practice a nice smile;that's key to start a conversation and to be confident.
Also, be confident; it's really really important. Everybody wants to talk to confident people.

[plebble]

I can't just be confident. That's not how it works. I'd love to be confident if I could, it's just difficult. I've put up with minor bullying for years and it has slowly destroyed my ability to be social, but over the last couple of years I have improved. But every time I talk to someone I imagine what it's like talking to me from their point of view and I judge myself on whether or not I sound/look like an idiot.

Presenting in front of the class as well. Can't do that.

[Body odah Man]

Now it's hard but try to stay calm. As for presenting in the class-I suck at that too so can't help you there

[Hollywood]

I have heard it said by people I know with Aspergers that it is easier to socialize once you get to get to university, because it's a different environment.

Certainly, a change in environment can do wonders. When you're put in a situation where you have no choice but to socialize, you pick up on things and learn really quickly. I anticipate the same thing happening to me once I join the military.

[JamesSuperBoy]

I can't just be confident. That's not how it works. I'd love to be confident if I could, it's just difficult. I've put up with minor bullying for years and it has slowly destroyed my ability to be social, but over the last couple of years I have improved. But every time I talk to someone I imagine what it's like talking to me from their point of view and I judge myself on whether or not I sound/look like an idiot.

Presenting in front of the class as well. Can't do that.

It is how you feel/are not a quick fix but uni is a whole new experience and a new start. That is good you recognise that things have improved. Try and not imagine how they feel from thier point of view maybe that is why you get mixed up and feel stupid. Concentrate on the conversation -

[plebble]

It is how you feel/are not a quick fix but uni is a whole new experience and a new start. That is good you recognise that things have improved. Try and not imagine how they feel from thier point of view maybe that is why you get mixed up and feel stupid. Concentrate on the conversation -

Yeah I'm hoping that university will be a turning point for me, but there's still a possibility that people will think I'm a total idiot.

[JamesSuperBoy]

There is a distinct poss that you may think someone is an idiot and yeah that life. Lots of great people out there to meet and be friends with or not as the case maybe - but do give it your best shot -

[Elvalight]

Ain't no shame in dat. Some people are just natural introverts and prefer not being around too many people. Try drinking a nice cup of earl grey tea( seriously, this stuff works wonders) put on your favorite sweater( hoodies are awesome to bury yourself in) and say hi to someone who doesn't seem to have any friends. It is usually easier to talk to someone who doesn't look too popular. Seriously, it's not a bad thing to be a loner( the only friend I have is my sister) and sometimes it just takes time to find someone who's personality is the right match to yours( me and my cousin have the most amount of awkward what-the-heck-do-I-say moments ever) I'd say try starting with the comment section on youtube. It's easy to start a conversation and you don't have to worry about embarrassing yourself. Once you get used to that, try talking to someone. Confidence is great, but it doesn't help much. Only getting to know people is the key to getting yourself to come out of your shell. As I said, sometimes it's all about the right personality( most people practically run at the sight of me, knowing of all the uncomfortable silence I will surely bring lol) Believeeee me, your not alone with this problem.

[Willy_Nilly]

Hey it's cool not everyone can be a social butterfly. I know people who eventually found friends after not really having any for a long time. And who knows? Sometimes you make in friends in the most unlikely people.

[plebble]

I think I do have friends... I don't know.
People are fine with me at school, from what I can tell no one seems to particularly dislike me and sometimes people talk to me if I'm sitting next to them.
But at break times and lunch times I'm always alone because I secretly wonder if they secretly don't want me around or I'm not friends with anyone enough to be able to hang around with them.
My situation is complicated. I am known to be very quiet.

[Caver]

I'm exactly the same! I mean on Friday night I had to go to this meeting with 8 others, god damn it was awful but I tried blending in and it kind of worked. I am pushing my social anxiety to one side and in 9 days will be catching a flight to the other side of the continent and meeting 150 other people from all over the world and staying with a family I've never met or heard of or anything!

[imthomas]

I'm the same way. I feel you.