having second thoughts

[Jason The Great]

So, two months ago I had a tough breakup with a girl ive been dating for a year. Now I just met a new girl, she's sweet and funny and hot as hell.

I'm just not sure that i should ask her out. Since my ex left me, im scared of getting hurt again. Should I go through with it?

Im also scared that if I dont go out with her somebody else would ask her out.

its a dilemma...

[EvaNL]

I'll post the age old cliché:
"It's better to have loved and lost than to never have loved at all".

Yes, you may get hurt, but you also may have a fantastic future together. You would miss out on that if you don't ask her out.
Go for it and ask her out.

[Lionsden04]

I would say go for it, it can’t be good getting hurt but you may regret it if you miss out

[Caycedilla]

I would concentrate on being friends with her before anything else. If things don’t work out and you end up heartbroken you may lose her altogether (if you rush to ask her out). By being friends with her you can probably better gauge her actual interest in you. I wouldn’t wait too long of course, but a simple friendly basis for a relationship would probably help your chances

[Karalectric]

Add my voice to Team Go For It! But i can see wisdom in SpaceyCayce's approach too. Also it is perfectly acceptable to sit this out and keep working on yourself if that is what you need. :) After all your last relationship wasn't that long ago.

[ska8er]

Go for it-Ask her.

[Oscar-V3.0]

So, two months ago I had a tough breakup with a girl ive been dating for a year. Now I just met a new girl, she's sweet and funny and hot as hell.

I'm just not sure that i should ask her out. Since my ex left me, im scared of getting hurt again. Should I go through with it?

Im also scared that if I dont go out with her somebody else would ask her out.

its a dilemma...

If you're always afraid that a relationship ends in a break up, then you'll never date any one else...

It's ok to be sad after a breakup, but then you have to recover and get back on track ;)

I'd say it's better to try out with her and see how it goes, rather than not doing anything and spend your time wondering if she would have agreed or not ;)

[Caycedilla]

Add my voice to Team Go For It! But i can see wisdom in SpaceyCayce's approach too. Also it is perfectly acceptable to sit this out and keep working on yourself if that is what you need. :) After all your last relationship wasn't that long ago.

:lol: I think my way of thinking is a bit different I guess.

I know people want to take a chance on the “big thing” which is the romantic relationship. I’d rather establish “something” which is the friendship, and still have a chance at the “big thing”. I’d much rather have “something” than “nothing”.

I realize that people will argue this with “friend zone” garbage, which is why I said I wouldn’t wait too long to judge someone else’s romantic interest. Sure it may hurt some but I would just rather still have a friend if the romantic spark wasn’t both ways.

[Karalectric]

:lol: I think my way of thinking is a bit different I guess.

I know people want to take a chance on the “big thing” which is the romantic relationship. I’d rather establish “something” which is the friendship, and still have a chance at the “big thing”. I’d much rather have “something” than “nothing”.

I realize that people will argue this with “friend zone” garbage, which is why I said I wouldn’t wait too long to judge someone else’s romantic interest. Sure it may hurt some but I would just rather still have a friend if the romantic spark wasn’t both ways.

True. Especially since OP said he just met her. It might be a whole different thing if a friendship was already in place?

[Caycedilla]

True. Especially since OP said he just met her. It might be a whole different thing if a friendship was already in place?

That’s just the way I would go about it

It’s easy for people online to type “go for it” and “just tell” the other person, but they aren’t in that specific situation themselves. It’s hard to tell what both people have going on in their lives, or if either of them have social anxiety (which can be really awful in some cases). I don’t know, so I would never tell anyone to take a massive chance that might shatter their confidence completely and hurt them pretty bad (even worse than they already might be) for a long, long time

[Karalectric]

That’s just the way I would go about it

It’s easy for people online to type “go for it” and “just tell” the other person, but they aren’t in that specific situation themselves. It’s hard to tell what both people have going on in their lives, or if either of them have social anxiety (which can be really awful in some cases). I don’t know, so I would never tell anyone to take a massive chance that might shatter their confidence completely and hurt them pretty bad (even worse than they already might be) for a long, long time

Good point. You changed my mind. :)

[Jason The Great]

That’s just the way I would go about it

It’s easy for people online to type “go for it” and “just tell” the other person, but they aren’t in that specific situation themselves. It’s hard to tell what both people have going on in their lives, or if either of them have social anxiety (which can be really awful in some cases). I don’t know, so I would never tell anyone to take a massive chance that might shatter their confidence completely and hurt them pretty bad (even worse than they already might be) for a long, long time

After lots of thinking and considering different perspectives, I've decided not to ask her out and instead be her friend. I'm gonna give myself a few month to let myself get over my last relationship and if things seemed right then I would go after it.

Thank you all for your replies:)

[Uniquemind]

:lol: I think my way of thinking is a bit different I guess.

I know people want to take a chance on the “big thing” which is the romantic relationship. I’d rather establish “something” which is the friendship, and still have a chance at the “big thing”. I’d much rather have “something” than “nothing”.

I realize that people will argue this with “friend zone” garbage, which is why I said I wouldn’t wait too long to judge someone else’s romantic interest. Sure it may hurt some but I would just rather still have a friend if the romantic spark wasn’t both ways.

My question to you, is how often do you think people employ your approach, but do so with multiple people, in a list-FWB kinda situation, which is where most complex drama originated once a person begins to focus on one guy or girl, they want to get serious with.

[Caycedilla]

My question to you, is how often do you think people employ your approach, but do so with multiple people, in a list-FWB kinda situation, which is where most complex drama originated once a person begins to focus on one guy or girl, they want to get serious with.

I wasn’t even thinking about a FWB type relationship when I said it. I was thinking of just friendships with none of that attached. That would get pretty messy because people are bound to have feelings/get jealous (even more so imo)

[Uniquemind]

I wasn’t even thinking about a FWB type relationship when I said it. I was thinking of just friendships with none of that attached. That would get pretty messy because people are bound to have feelings/get jealous (even more so imo)

I know, perhaps It’s a new topic...we’ll discuss there.

[Emilyfox]

No you’re right to question this
Definitely avoid her and consider moving to a cave

Lol

Ask her to hang out
Take it slow if she wants to, get to know her and if you think it’s going that way ask