Masculinity

[mangasandyoutube]

My parents say that I'm more feminine around different people. I agree, and I don't know why I do it, but I do. I want to be more masculine around everyone, but sometimes I am very feminine by accident. Can I change this, or is it a problem in the first place?

[Spooky_Eli]

if you don't know how your acting that way, how can you change it? (p.s, yes, you can change this)

[ska8er]

U r what u r Kenny-u cant change
how u talk or act-Just b urself Bro.

[justa16yearoldaussie]

Why want to change who you are, if your feminine embrace your femininity and if your masculine embrace your masculinity, there's no point trying to change who you are for someone else, the only person who should have a say in whether or not you change yourself is you. Change to be a better version of yourself, not the version that other people want to see.

[NoLimitGuy]

Why want to change who you are, if your feminine embrace your femininity and if your masculine embrace your masculinity, there's no point trying to change who you are, especially not for someone else

Your advice is to live a miserable life? If he wants to change his behaviour around other people (which is possible) why shouldn't he? Got some problems with masculinity?

To get you best advice, it would be nice to specify how exactly your behaviour changes feminine around others?

Posts merged. Use the edit button next one ~Mars

[Lionsden04]

I don’t see it as a problem, plus if you don’t realise your doing it how can you change the way you are, you might even change the way you are without realising your not acting like that anymore

[justa16yearoldaussie]

Your advice is to live a miserable life? If he wants to change his behaviour around other people (which is possible) why shouldn't he? Got some problems with masculinity?

No, I don't have a problem with masculinity, or femininity, all I was saying was that he should embrace who he really is and be who he wants to be, not who people tell him to be.

I was in no way, shape or form implying him to live a "miserable life" its just the wording of the OP's post sounded like he wanted to not be as feminine because he's parents brought it up or because people want him to be less feminine.

He can be however he wants, masculine, feminine, both or neither, as long as if he wants to change he changes because he wants to and that's what he wants and what is best for HIM not because OTHERS or society tell him to.

I feel like what your saying is such an over exaggeration of what I originally said, of course I don't have a problem with masculinity or femininity, as I said in my post "if your feminine embrace your femininity and if your masculine embrace your masculinity" nothing in that says I have a problem with masculinity

Sorry for the little rant or if that came across as rude I just didn't know I had to critically analyse my posts before I submit them.

[Jericho14]

Would you mind explaining in what way do they see you as having feminine traits?

[Connordude]

What do they want you to do? Rub dirt on yourself and go fishing more?

[mangasandyoutube]

To get you best advice, it would be nice to specify how exactly your behaviour changes feminine around others?

First of all, I would like to express to all of you that I am gay to make my concern make more sense, maybe.

OK so, I act very... RuPaul's Drag Race gay around some of my friends. Around others, it's more subdued... like Neil Patrick Harris gay.

Would you mind explaining in what way do they see you as having feminine traits?

I guess the way I walk? Or my hand movements? I really don't know. :/

Posts merged. Use the multi quote button next time ~Mars

[Spooky_Eli]

Huh. Don't cross your legs, walk in a straght line, don't move your hips as much maybe.
don't move your hands when you talk, like, at all. Don't say like like i just did. idk what else to tell you.

[Hermes]

You remind me of a conversation I had with my dad. He said "camp" behaviour, i.e. what I think you're describing, was a natural result of being gay. I disagree with him - I think it is behaviour learned by imitation. So, if you associate with a group where that behaviour is normal it is possible some of rubs it off on you. Furthermore, you are more likely to behave that way when with that group than when you are with "straight-acting" people. I also suspect this works unconsciously just as with speech people adopt the accent of those around and often, when they move to another part of the county, their accent slowly changes to fit in with the new area they have moved to.

So, in the same way as an actor can learn how to deliberately speak with a specific accent in order to play a particular part, I am sure you can deliberately change mannerisms in specific situations but it is a bit too much effort to do this all the time. In normal living you have to be yourself.

[ska8er]

I guess the way I walk? Or my hand movements? I really don't know. :/

Kenny like I said before-BE URSELF.
If u r Gay and have Gay traits-that is
the way u r. Other posters here say u
can change but if u r going to rethink
the way u talk or walk or move ur
hands every time u meet someone
or do something ur going to go crazy.
U might b able to subdue things but
u r still the way u r. :what:

[HeyCameron]

I guess the way I walk? Or my hand movements? I really don't know. :/

But if you're not even really sure, then why is this a problem? Maybe ask them what they mean next time. Sounds like this is subconscious if other people are noticing it more than you are.

[NoLimitGuy]

First of all, I would like to express to all of you that I am gay to make my concern make more sense, maybe.

OK so, I act very... RuPaul's Drag Race gay around some of my friends. Around others, it's more subdued... like Neil Patrick Harris gay.
Then there are much lesser things to do. If you just had high-pinched voice for a dude and some femine traits, it would be easiely fix if you were str8, but since you are gay, it's in your genes. There is a wide spectrum of gay people. There are masculine gay man who has deep voice, they attend gym, in short, they have loads of testosterone and carry masculine DNA. Then there are those gays who has irritably high-pinched voice, they have some women behavioural traits - they carry feminine DNA fragments in them and there is nothing you can really do about that. You could try to be more manlier around others but yeah, it's hard to tell...

[mangasandyoutube]

This has been very helpful! I think I will try to work on it in specific situations, like when I need it for a character,(I'm also an actor) but otherwise I won't worry about it too much.
Thank you!

[abcdeqwe]

Why do u wanna be less feminine? It’s funny, I want to be more feminine cuz I’d feel more myself

[Laxguy15]

I had that problem sometimes. I always just talked to myself in a masculine or act it out to myself and then I would incorporate that into real world scenarios. Now I have no problem with it, being more masculine is just apart of who I am now. Don't worry about it though, u are who u are like a lot of the other guys said. If u want to make that change and develop yourself then go for it! But don't stress about it. Hope that helped :)

[Zachary G]

You are who you are and thats all there is to it. Can it be changed? Sure, but its going to be much harder to change than it will be to just be yourself regardless of what anyone thinks or says.

[Oscar-V3.0]

My parents say that I'm more feminine around different people. I agree, and I don't know why I do it, but I do. I want to be more masculine around everyone, but sometimes I am very feminine by accident. Can I change this, or is it a problem in the first place?

What do u do exactly which is feminine?

[House anatomy]

Who cares how feminine or masculine you are. I mean you could act more or less masculine by if that is who you are then embrace it. Femininity isn't a bad thing just like masculinity isn't bad. Both are social constructs made to try and segregate people. Be yourself if that's more masculine then do that. If is feminine then just roll with it if that makes you happy. You can act more masculine I guess but don't do it because other say so or because that how people think the world should be. Its definitely not wrong or a problem. JUST BE YOU