Okay for girls to do but not boys?

[Connordude]

Now first up I wouldn’t do this, I respect girls but I have a question

Why is it acceptable for a girl to wake a boy up with a handjob/blowjob/sex without previously discussing it but if a guy is fingering/licking/putting it in before she wakes up rapey?

[samuel15]

That's not really something you can compare thought, if a girl does it she most likely knows he will be okey with it. But if a guy did it to a girl that isn't okey with it, it would just be rape. It's about knowing what your partner consents to.

[abcdeqwe]

I don’t think there’s a rule that automatically says it’s okay for a girl to do that :confused:

[ska8er]

I would say that it isn't right either way
if no one consents to it.

[BlackParadePixie]

well for starters...if you're trying to put anything inside of a girl and she's not ready for it (i.e. turned on) it's most likely going to be painful.

[Connordude]

well for starters...if you're trying to put anything inside of a girl and she's not ready for it (i.e. turned on) it's most likely going to be painful.

Totally understand that and I never would do that
Just seems to be this double standard
I’d rather not be touched unawares but you hear of it

[EvaNL]

It doesn't matter which gender the one doing it or the one receiving it is, if the one receiving it does not consent, it's rape or at least sexual assault. I don't know the proper English legal terms, so you'll have to excuse me if I get that wrong. In Dutch it's verkrachting (rape, when you enter someone's body without their consent) or aanranding ("sexual assault", when you touch someone's body in a sexual way but do not enter it).
This is also an issue: a guy getting a hj/bj without consent is at most getting sexually assaulted (which is bad enough btw), but a girl getting anything put into her vagina is rape.

It completely depends on the person and their mood. I recommend talking to your sexual partner and ask if they like being woken up like that. If they say No, don't. Ever.
If they say Yes, you can do it, but you might get a "wtf are you doing?!?!" if they don't feel like it at that moment.
And it doesn't matter which gender both people are.
Communication is key. Knowing your partner's likes and dislikes will greatly improve your (sex) life. Trial and error may result in splitting up or even a criminal conviction.

[Oscar-V3.0]

Now first up I wouldn’t do this, I respect girls but I have a question

Why is it acceptable for a girl to wake a boy up with a handjob/blowjob/sex without previously discussing it but if a guy is fingering/licking/putting it in before she wakes up rapey?

I dont think neither one is acceptable

I hate being waken up when I could still be sleeping :D

[SethfromMI]

Well I don't know any guys who would actually be bothered by it. I mean technically speaking if you did not consent to it I guess it could be sexual abuse, but honestly, most guys would love to wake up that way. I know I don't mind one bit haha

[Caitigrrl]

Maybe because it’s going to seriously hurt a girl who isn’t ready for it and a boy is only going to feel good?

[kro814]

It is not acceptable either way.

[mick01]

I've had a boyfriend and this activity took place. But no one got surprised. It was agreed to ahead of time that it would be fine to do. Like, no kidding lol.

[AshleighB]

I don’t think it’s acceptable either way if it hasn’t been discussed, if it has and both are happy then I don’t see it been a problem

[Lionsden04]

There are a lot of double standers when it comes to boys and girls, I wouldn’t mind if a girl did that to me though, but I wouldn’t do it to a girl, I think it’s more to do with respect, if a girl doesn’t want a guy to do that the he shouldn’t same as if a guy doesn’t want a girl to do it either

[Maxbreak]

I think if you are a couple in a relationship and the boy wants it and it's consensual (very important!), it's almost as if a boy's morning wood is designed for it. To do the same to a girl would almost be like the girl deciding to poke a boy's behind. U may like anal, but have to be ready for it, not asleep

[melissa16]

Because no girl wants anything stuck in her without notice..

[Uniquemind]

This double-standard doesn’t really exist not when you look at the merits behind the statement.

However, if you’re responding to why certain USA, state laws, have double-standards in their legal definition of rape VS sexual assault, using this exact case law scenario....then that puts the OP’s statement in a totally different light and context; to which I’d say yes, there’s a double standard here, and the flaw is not in the society’s understanding of consent but rather the way the law is written, and a bias about masculinity that “boys/men” never or should never say no, and that they always say or should say yes to sex.

[Natacha]

I think same goes. Equal rights. If she doesn't want attention in her sleep, she shouldn't do anything to him in his sleep. Unless they have an agreement. I wouldn't be mad if I was woken up like that

[Uniquemind]

I think same goes. Equal rights. If she doesn't want attention in her sleep, she shouldn't do anything to him in his sleep. Unless they have an agreement. I wouldn't be mad if I was woken up like that

And I’d have that agreement written out, and fingerprinted and videotaped signing that agreement with both of you present so nobody can frame the other later on for sexual-abuse-rapes shenanigans.

[Natacha]

And I’d have that agreement written out, and fingerprinted and videotaped signing that agreement with both of you present so nobody can frame the other later on for sexual-abuse-rapes shenanigans.

Yeah I guess some people (both guys and girls) wouldn't respect that boundary. But as a boyfriend/girlfriend, it's a real asshole thing not to respect something like that

[Uniquemind]

Yeah I guess some people (both guys and girls) wouldn't respect that boundary. But as a boyfriend/girlfriend, it's a real asshole thing not to respect something like that

Either way we agree the OP’s premise is flawed unless their referring to state law criminal penal codes...cuz that’s almost politics at that point.

[sofie04]

I think it doesn't matter, you always need consent regardless of being boy or girl

[HardCandyGirl]

A couple should talk about it, before it happens, of course. A bf asked me and I said it was ok.

[Pultost]

It's not okay either way if it hasn't been discussed and agreed on in advance. Touching a person who's asleep or whatever is considered rape, regardless of gender.

[ShineintheDark]

The legal opinion is that both are sexual assault unless the person has previously made it clear that they have consented to it on THAT occasion (ie. if they said it was ok a week ago, it may not be ok for this morning). However, in practice couples don't really mind too much and do indeed enjoy it. That said, as mentioned previously, it can be more painful for non-aroused women to be penetrated since they have no lubrication and their muscles tend to be tenser. However, on a legal standpoint there is no difference.

[Emilyfox]

A couple should talk about it, before it happens, of course. A bf asked me and I said it was ok.

How did it feel? Can’t imagine you can sleep through it

[hayley2003]

Now first up I wouldn’t do this, I respect girls but I have a question

Why is it acceptable for a girl to wake a boy up with a handjob/blowjob/sex without previously discussing it but if a guy is fingering/licking/putting it in before she wakes up rapey?

Do girls really do that?

Ok, maybe some where, sometime, in the history of the world, it has happened before, but I kinda doubt its something that regular.

[Uniquemind]

Do girls really do that?

Ok, maybe some where, sometime, in the history of the world, it has happened before, but I kinda doubt its something that regular.

I think it’s possible; sounds like something older couples do rather than the teenage year demographic. If it happens it probably something college couples do (age 17-35) crowd.

I also suspect inspiration to do these kinda more aggressive flirtatious acts is actually inspired by the sexualization of western media and culture especially since the rise of the online porn and even just highly glamourized Instagram show-off culture.