Is she worth it?

[ArfyMcPeesh]

Okay without sounding pathetic, I’ve liked this girl since about 7th grade, but she basically ignored me until I lost weight and grew. Now we’re friends since cross country and I asked her to our winter dance but she said no because she was waiting for someone else who hadn’t asked her yet. He did that night but from what I heard they’re only friends and going because then she’s going to his dance at his school.

So yeah she probably knows I like her, her friends know and no one said she wasn’t interested but we’re never at the same parties or things and we’re really never alone to talk.

Basically she’s beautiful but maybe not interested. At the same time there’s no other girls interested in me being a freshman and all and not on football or basketball. Shallow yeah tell me about it, but that’s what it is. But the girl I like is beyond amazing and when she smiles or talks to me I smile and feel amazing and basically yeah I’m a loser.

So she blew me off, nicely though, to go with a guy from a different school as friends. But she still has no boyfriend and still talks to me in the hall and things, and at lunch she DM’ed me to ask where I was so does that mean anything? Should I just come out and tell her or what?

[ska8er]

IDK if she is a player playing games. Only u
can watch her and c how she acts or what she
says. Since she has no boyfriend and talks to u
in the hall-keep being nice and see where the
friendship goes but don't rush things. Don't
straight out ask her if she would like u to b her
boyfriend but ask her if she would like to go out
sometime. Let her get to know u more. If she
acts indifferent then u can tell she is looking for
something else.

[Caycedilla]

I think I would wait if I was in that situation. I know your feeling are strong and you want a relationship but maybe she really does want to be just friends. You seem very worried about being upfront with her and taking a chance of rejection. If she doesn’t want a relationship, do you think it would be possibly very awkward going forward as friends? Is it worth risking your friendship and being able to talk to her all the time? I know it would be easy for people to tell you to “go for it” but I’m not so sure I would do it myself. I know you’ve been waiting a long time and it is frustrating (I can actually see myself in this situation tbh). I would try to judge the potential pros and cons before you make a fast decision

[PlasmaHam]

I would just sit on the sidelines and judge the situation. It sounds like right now you are friends with her, which is good. Get to know her, develop your friendship, and through talking with her judge her interest. If you think she may be interested then I would step up a bit, perhaps inviting her out somewhere or doing something to make her feel special. Not inherently romantic, don't go out to a candlelight supper or buy her expensive jewelry lest you want to scare her off, but definitely showing that you value her. If she rolls with that, then I would consider asking her to be more than friends.

I wouldn't say that her declining to go with you to go with the other guy was a sign she doesn't like you. The fact that she did it kindly and explained the situation says to me that she cares about you. She probably just made a prior commitment to the other guy and didn't want to go back on it.

I'm in a similar situation right now, so I understand where you are coming from. Patience is the best thing right now, don't jump the gun.

[ArfyMcPeesh]

What is bothering me the most is how she is. Like today. I stayed home with a cough and cold and she DMed me but then I hit her back after school and no reply. It’s like I’m the afterthought and if she thinks about me she’ll talk but if she doesn’t then I’m not important. We ran XC all season and I feel like I was always the oh yeah we should ask him too last person thought about. When I got asked by girls that is. I feel like I should be more aggressive or something but then again it’s not like she’s looking elsewhere. I just don’t know.