Anyone else inexperienced?

[Karalectric]

Hello!!!!

Okay, soooooo i mentioned elsewhere on here that i am not an experienced girl with sex. As in, i haven't and not sure if that will happen anytime soon. My last bf wanted to, but i said no. At school i sometimes feel pressures because others talk. And then i come on here and it feels like everyone else has done so much and makes me feel ever more inexperienced! Heck, i even feel pressured just to have a bf!!!! I know there are lots of others like me, but i feel like we just don't talk that up for fear of not measuring up maybe or suffering socially or some reason or another? I dunno what i am looking for here. Maybe to hear from others on here my age who haven't had done much and to be told it is okay? I am 15 btw.

[Katie2003]

Hello!!!!

Okay, soooooo i mentioned elsewhere on here that i am not an experienced girl with sex. As in, i haven't and not sure if that will happen anytime soon. My last bf wanted to, but i said no. At school i sometimes feel pressures because others talk. And then i come on here and it feels like everyone else has done so much and makes me feel ever more inexperienced! Heck, i even feel pressured just to have a bf!!!! I know there are lots of others like me, but i feel like we just don't talk that up for fear of not measuring up maybe or suffering socially or some reason or another? I dunno what i am looking for here. Maybe to hear from others on here my age who haven't had done much and to be told it is okay? I am 15 btw.


Kara, I want to say just one thing. I am NOT inexperienced but I seriously regret many of the things I have done between the ages of 11 and 15 1/2.

I can't go take back the sexual stuff I have done, and no amount of wishing can make it go away. The emotional issues that came with it have convinced me that you are in a far better place being inexperienced.

Take things very slowly and carefully and respect each other when you do start to go further than you have!

I don't think the opinions of friends in the same social group are worth considering. Period.

If something isn't right for you, if you don't feel comfortable with it, don't do it and tell them to get lost and stop bothering you to "fit in" with their group. It simply isn't worth it and it will take me many more years of therapy to undo what I foolishly did not knowing any better and not understanding that it has serious emotional consequences. So don't go there yourself........

[Karalectric]

Kara, I want to say just one thing. I am NOT inexperienced but I seriously regret many of the things I have done between the ages of 11 and 15 1/2.

I can't go take back the sexual stuff I have done, and no amount of wishing can make it go away. The emotional issues that came with it have convinced me that you are in a far better place being inexperienced.

Take things very slowly and carefully and respect each other when you do start to go further than you have!

I don't think the opinions of friends in the same social group are worth considering. Period.

If something isn't right for you, if you don't feel comfortable with it, don't do it and tell them to get lost and stop bothering you to "fit in" with their group. It simply isn't worth it and it will take me many more years of therapy to undo what I foolishly did not knowing any better and not understanding that it has serious emotional consequences. So don't go there yourself........

Thanks Katelynn, that is so helpful! Yeah, I try so hard to fit in sometimes. Too hard. and so definitely needed to hear that!! I appreciate you sharing.

[EvaNL]

Peer pressure is a b*tch (excuse the language).
Please do NOT feel obligated to do anything sexual because people around you talk about it or do it.

I agree completely with Katelynn: if you don't want to do something, don't. That's true for anything, btw, not just sexual things.
And when your friends are true friends, they will respect you no matter what your choices are. If someone doesn't want to be friends with you anymore because you didn't have sex yet, then you're better off without them!

It's 100% okay to be inexperienced.
Take your time, it's fine.

[Karalectric]

Peer pressure is a b*tch (excuse the language).
Please do NOT feel obligated to do anything sexual because people around you talk about it or do it.

I agree completely with Katelynn: if you don't want to do something, don't. That's true for anything, btw, not just sexual things.
And when your friends are true friends, they will respect you no matter what your choices are. If someone doesn't want to be friends with you anymore because you didn't have sex yet, then you're better off without them!

It's 100% okay to be inexperienced.
Take your time, it's fine.

Yeah, it isn't easy. Let me add when i said no to my now ex, i felt so guilty about disappointing him and upset with myself for chickening out. I shouldn't have to feel that way! I am feeling better about that now. It was definitely for best because i was clearly not ready and owe him no apologies! Thanks. :)

[theblue]

14 year old here, I'm rather inexperienced - I did sleep with one (1) guy before, but I'm inexperienced, by choice.

I feel like inexperience is better than regret. So, I try and be careful about what I do and how I conduct myself. Most of the time, people tend to reflect what they cannot do onto others so the potential fail doesn't stick to them. So they just make other people feel bad about not doing stuff while they are the real cowards.

Also, "You're 14 and you haven't given a blowjob?" is a stupid question. I am the age I am and I am yet to do many things such as bungee jumping, parkour, walking on broken glass with bare feet etc.

[arnorway]

i know i am younger but i am totally inexperienced. all i did was hold hands with 2 girls that i liked. but i haven't even kissed yet! i also feel the pressure from some of my friends, who make fun of me from time to time for not having kissed. i try not to let it get to me but it's hard since most of my friends have done more than just kissing. i really wished anything sexual was not treated like such a big deal

[Katie2003]

14 year old here, I'm rather inexperienced - I did sleep with one (1) guy before, but I'm inexperienced, by choice.

I feel like inexperience is better than regret. So, I try and be careful about what I do and how I conduct myself. Most of the time, people tend to reflect what they cannot do onto others so the potential fail doesn't stick to them. So they just make other people feel bad about not doing stuff while they are the real cowards.

Also, "You're 14 and you haven't given a blowjob?" is a stupid question. I am the age I am and I am yet to do many things such as bungee jumping, parkour, walking on broken glass with bare feet etc.

What you said is 100% the way girls our age ought to feel.

Let me say it again, everyone please listen: INEXPERIENCE IS FAR FAR BETTER THAN REGRET!!!!!! I've been there and don't want that experience again.

[Natacha]

Go forward at your own speed. Or else it will be bad experiences

[Maxbreak]

I'm so inexperienced too. Done nothing. Sometimes I read what people have done here at a young age and get jealous. Then I think is that just hormones that I have.
Sometimes I think people just say the have to avoid being made fun of for not doing so, when U know what, saying "I am a virgin" is NOT a bad thing. Not only that, some people may have done it and enjoyed it, others may have done it and now completely regret it.
If U want to know when U should loose Ur virginity, or even just kiss someone, the answer is when YOU are good and ready. Do NOT be peer pressured by anyone!

[Karalectric]

i know i am younger but i am totally inexperienced. all i did was hold hands with 2 girls that i liked. but i haven't even kissed yet! i also feel the pressure from some of my friends, who make fun of me from time to time for not having kissed. i try not to let it get to me but it's hard since most of my friends have done more than just kissing. i really wished anything sexual was treated like such a big deal

Yeah i guessed that by your username! :P I could be wrong, but i would say the peer pressures is more intense for you boys?

What you said is 100% the way girls our age ought to feel.

Let me say it again, everyone please listen: INEXPERIENCE IS FAR FAR BETTER THAN REGRET!!!!!! I've been there and don't want that experience again.

IKR??? If i could use a love button for theblue, i so would!!! :heart:

Go forward at your own speed. Or else it will be bad experiences

I think you are right. :)

[arnorway]

Yeah i guessed that by your username! :P

i know it's a bad username, i think i should change it

I could be wrong, but i would say the peer pressures is more intense for you boys?

and i don't know if it's worse for boys. i'm just glad not all of my friends tease me about it

[Karalectric]

i know it's a bad username, i think i should change it



and i don't know if it's worse for boys. i'm just glad not all of my friends tease me about it

Yeah, tbh when i see something remotely sexual in someones username i kinda get suspicious, but don't worry you are cool. :cool: How about a mishmash of sorts like i did. Arnorway? :P

Nor should they. You have good friends then. :)

[arnorway]

Yeah, tbh when i see something remotely sexual in someones username i kinda get suspicious, but don't worry you are cool. :cool: How about a mishmash of sorts like i did. Arnorway? :P

thanks, that's a good idea!
and done :D

[Caycedilla]

Yeah I agree with some others. Don’t ever feel like you need to have sex just to be able to say that you’ve done it or feel like you have to do anything sexual by a certain age. There is no shame or anything wrong with waiting to find the right person to take that step with. For a lot of people it’s an emotional decision, which may come with regret if it’s looked back on in a negative way. You’ll know when it’s right. If you feel pressured then chances are it’s not the right time or with the right person

[theblue]

I think the problem is that some people think it's way too cool to have done stuff. Boy and girl alike, like it's compulsory.
arnorway - Having held 2 girls' hands is better than getting an STD from one or doing something else that you'll regret afterwards. So, I wouldn't feel bad.

Also, these things should be done when one is ready. Otherwise, it's like electing Trump for President, you have no idea what the hell is going on.

[ChrisA1998]

At school i sometimes feel pressures because others talk. And then i come on here and it feels like everyone else has done so much
you know, there is what teens say they do, and there is what they really do... :rolleyes:

And it's not a race. It's not an award of who does it first.
Just take your time. Maybe you're not ready for it yet, nothing wrong with that. It's like puberty, some start earlier and some start a bit later.

or maybe you just haven't found the right boy yet, so dont pressure yourself with getting a bf just for the thrill of having one, while you dont really have feelings for him ;)

[Karalectric]

you know, there is what teens say they do, and there is what they really do... :rolleyes:

And it's not a race. It's not an award of who does it first.
Just take your time. Maybe you're not ready for it yet, nothing wrong with that. It's like puberty, some start earlier and some start a bit later.

or maybe you just haven't found the right boy yet, so dont pressure yourself with getting a bf just for the thrill of having one, while you dont really have feelings for him ;)

Yea i did not seriously consider that some may be lying or stretching the truth. Good point! I mean... i can tell you i am a dark haired rock goddess.... ????? lol

[ChrisA1998]

Yea i did not seriously consider that some may be lying or stretching the truth. Good point! I mean... i can tell you i am a dark haired rock goddess.... ????? lol

even if it is anonymous some guys like to pretend they have done stuff, even if they haven't done it for good...

I dont believe you are a goddess, but I do believe you if you say that you are dark haired, and that you rock :D

[Karalectric]

even if it is anonymous some guys like to pretend they have done stuff, even if they haven't done it for good...

I dont believe you are a goddess, but I do believe you if you say that you are dark haired, and that you rock :D

Ha!! Wrong!!!! I am blonde. ;)

[tessa-]

You’re so sweet n gorgeous you’ll be able to find someone special to do things with who is worthy of being with you when you’re ready

Don’t rush into things like I did, no going back and turning it off is hard
I got tricked/easily gave in to a lot of things I shouldn’t havr - you’re a stronger woman than me

[Zika]

I think you get the point that people are suggesting you not do things you feel you're not ready for. There's a difference between excitement, even a bit of anxiety about trying something new, and having a feeling that it's the wrong thing for you to do at that time.

I don't know of anyone who regretted waiting, but of course I know many who regret not waiting.

If you want to experiment but feel stressed about it, that's when you really need a partner who is patient and concerned about your feelings as well as his/hers.

I think there are a couple elements to you coming on here and reading about others' experiences and feeling behind. First of all, Lots, lots of people lie on here as well as IRL. The other day I skimmed a thread about anal sex. It's amazing, unbelievable in fact how many 13 and 14 year old girls have had anal sex and enjoy it.

If you want to see how much people lie, start a thread asking boys how long their dick is and their age. Then compare it to real statics. Either a lot of them will be lying, or the thread is more likely to capture responses from guys who want to boast. I imagine it's the former.

The other thing is, being a site for young people, sex is a common topic, esp if you peruse the 'puberty' sections. People are going to be talking about their sexual experiences, but that may be a small percentage of people on this site. It's like people getting upset reading about all the fun their friends are posting about on FB, not realizing it may be a dozen of them posting, out of 200 friends.

I don't imagine there are too many threads on here about virginity and if there is one, I would think people would just check in and say 'yeah, count me in,' but there's not much more to say about it. Virginity is the absence of something. People can always find more to say about an activity that's part of your life, than one that's not.

As for pressure to have a bf, yeah, guys have that too for having a gf.

You're doing fine. When you feel like doing something, do it...because you want to. And if you don't feel like it, know that you're doing the right thing for you and you're not at all alone.

It's a sign of your shinning character that you've posted about something so personal, which is on many others' minds, but they didn't want to say it.

[Jermy]

Yeah I have not done anything with a girl either. I have not even held hands. I have danced with a girl before, but thats about it.

[RileyX]

Only do things at your pace, its not worth it to do things you arent ready for, plus when you are ready guys will like that youre not experienced so dont rush

[KatieCO2003]

I'm 15 and I'm also a virgin. And in all honesty, I've never even held a guy's hand, much less been hugged, or touched, or kissed by a guy my own age.

[TessTheGreat]

I've never done anything and I don't want to yet. I think you are totally normal.

[Ashley 2003]

I am still a boy virgin I never seen a live penis so goes without saying never touched one I feel more comfortable with females and am not a female virgin lol

[Claire Asteroid]

Well I'm 20 and I'm still a virgin and I'm OK with it, so don't rush.

[Karalectric]

Only do things at your pace, its not worth it to do things you arent ready for, plus when you are ready guys will like that youre not experienced so dont rush

Why?

[Karalectric]

Yeah I have not done anything with a girl either. I have not even held hands. I have danced with a girl before, but thats about it.

I'm 15 and I'm also a virgin. And in all honesty, I've never even held a guy's hand, much less been hugged, or touched, or kissed by a guy my own age.

I've never done anything and I don't want to yet. I think you are totally normal.

Well I'm 20 and I'm still a virgin and I'm OK with it, so don't rush.

Awwwwww well thanks for posting. Now we know we are far from alone. :)

[arnorway]

Why?

i wondered the same thing! why would it be better for boys if the girl was "pure"? load of crap that is in my book

[ArfyMcPeesh]

Since I’ve never had a girlfriend though I TRY I have exactly zero experience even though I would basically give my left nut to try. But then again I want to try with the right person. I wouldn’t pressure to do it at all but I do admit it’s on my mind 24/7. What else kinda bothers me is my friends doing things and sex and here I am not and I do feel left out. Does that make sense?

[KatieCO2003]

Since I’ve never had a girlfriend though I TRY I have exactly zero experience even though I would basically give my left nut to try. But then again I want to try with the right person. I wouldn’t pressure to do it at all but I do admit it’s on my mind 24/7. What else kinda bothers me is my friends doing things and sex and here I am not and I do feel left out. Does that make sense?

Kinda like everybody at a school party got a Christmas present from Santa except you? .....yeah, I get it.

[Oscar-V3.0]

Awwwwww well thanks for posting. Now we know we are far from alone. :)

You're not alone, and there is nothing wrong not having found the right boy yet ;)

[INACTIVEchaosphere]

Hello!!!!

Okay, soooooo i mentioned elsewhere on here that i am not an experienced girl with sex. As in, i haven't and not sure if that will happen anytime soon. My last bf wanted to, but i said no. At school i sometimes feel pressures because others talk. And then i come on here and it feels like everyone else has done so much and makes me feel ever more inexperienced! Heck, i even feel pressured just to have a bf!!!! I know there are lots of others like me, but i feel like we just don't talk that up for fear of not measuring up maybe or suffering socially or some reason or another? I dunno what i am looking for here. Maybe to hear from others on here my age who haven't had done much and to be told it is okay? I am 15 btw.
I'm moderately experienced I guess, but that doesn't really matter. No one's intrinsic human value becomes any more or less because of how much sexual experience they have, or how much about the subject(s) they know. There's plenty of pressure to have a S/O, but in reality that's just society as a whole trying to feel validated, and fueled by basic human hormones that urge us to copulate. There are more important things in life to get value from, and forcing relationships or acting on impulse decisions won't do any good for you, your partner, or either of your emotional states.

[INACTIVEchaosphere]

Why?

i wondered the same thing! why would it be better for boys if the girl was "pure"? load of crap that is in my book

Yeah that's a bunch of BS, probably because guys like to flaunt their masculinity by, "claiming," a girl's, "purity." It's a toxic mentality to the max IMO. It makes them feel more powerful or successful or something.

[vandilization]

You shouldn't feel pressured to do anything you're not ready for. Then chances are, you'll regret it afterwards. I'd wait until you yourself know you're ready and not what anyone else thinks.

[Karalectric]

i wondered the same thing! why would it be better for boys if the girl was "pure"? load of crap that is in my book

Yeah that's a bunch of BS, probably because guys like to flaunt their masculinity by, "claiming," a girl's, "purity." It's a toxic mentality to the max IMO. It makes them feel more powerful or successful or something.

Awwwww thanks you guys!! Yea that.... didn't seem right. Glad to know there are still some gentlemen out there like you. :)

[Jason The Great]

Hello!!!!

Okay, soooooo i mentioned elsewhere on here that i am not an experienced girl with sex. As in, i haven't and not sure if that will happen anytime soon. My last bf wanted to, but i said no. At school i sometimes feel pressures because others talk. And then i come on here and it feels like everyone else has done so much and makes me feel ever more inexperienced! Heck, i even feel pressured just to have a bf!!!! I know there are lots of others like me, but i feel like we just don't talk that up for fear of not measuring up maybe or suffering socially or some reason or another? I dunno what i am looking for here. Maybe to hear from others on here my age who haven't had done much and to be told it is okay? I am 15 btw.


Hi there.

Do what you think is right. I dated a girl a few years ago who didn't want to have sex because it was in her mindset to have sex after marriage and i totally respected that.

The thing is, people are different and all of these things depends on your character, and just because everyone do something (not everyone) it doesn't necessarily make it a right thing to do. Take your time, you have all the time in the world.
Good luck.

[Adamant]

Lots of imagination for me but nothing more. Inexperienced in the sense that i have no experience. Not even a girl friend.
Of course I want to feel "normal" and hormones kind of shout about needing that sort of "love" but basicallyl i just want someone to like my company first.
I have seen some very messed up relationships so never going to rush unto stuff. I also need someone to like me first!
Does vt make me feel even more inadequate sometimes. Yes.
Should we really worry. I dont think so.
Btw I am also 15.

[Oscar-V3.0]

Does vt make me feel even more inadequate sometimes. Yes.

Why inadequate?

[Barbara.]

Hello!!!!

Okay, soooooo i mentioned elsewhere on here that i am not an experienced girl with sex. As in, i haven't and not sure if that will happen anytime soon. My last bf wanted to, but i said no. At school i sometimes feel pressures because others talk. And then i come on here and it feels like everyone else has done so much and makes me feel ever more inexperienced! Heck, i even feel pressured just to have a bf!!!! I know there are lots of others like me, but i feel like we just don't talk that up for fear of not measuring up maybe or suffering socially or some reason or another? I dunno what i am looking for here. Maybe to hear from others on here my age who haven't had done much and to be told it is okay? I am 15 btw.
Don't let Society pressure you and do anything that you feel that you're not ready for.
I am also very inexperienced as for I have never had a boyfriend or never been kissed. I feel that when the right boy coming along fate will bring us together.

[Adamant]

Why inadequate?

Don"t want to say much as i dont want to turn this thread into something different to what op wanted but mainly inexperienced and maybe left out of stuff that others do.

[Karalectric]

Awwwww you guys. So many great responses. :heart: i feel so much better about things. :) But also kinda embarrassed!! I feel kinda silly now.

[arnorway]

But also kinda embarrassed!! I feel kinda silly now.

no need to feel embarressed or silly, i think :)

[Barbara.]

Awwwww you guys. So many great responses. :heart: i feel so much better about things. :) But also kinda embarrassed!! I feel kinda silly now.
There's definitely no need you feel silly or embarrassed. Questions like this is why VT and its members are here.

[PlasmaHam]

I'm 19, and I haven't even had a steady girlfriend yet, nevermind done anything sexual with one. Looking back, I don't regret that choice. I needed to focus on myself, and there never was a someone who I felt was worth investing in. Dating and love should not be a casual thing. There is no shame in saving your love for someone who you feel could be "the one", even if they take years to appear.

[Oscar-V3.0]

Awwwww you guys. So many great responses. :heart: i feel so much better about things. :) But also kinda embarrassed!! I feel kinda silly now.
No one thinks you're silly, i promise you that :)

[Pultost]

I'm not inexperienced anymore, but when I was, I had my fair share of pressure. I just ignored it. There was this girl who kept nagging. "Anita, when are you gonna date, when are you gonna get laid", etc. Eventually I had enough, and told her I just had sex with her mother. That shut her up. :P

Anyway, what people have already said, all things in good time. Don't give into pressure and all that. One day you'll meet the person who's right for you. :)

[Karalectric]

no need to feel embarressed or silly, i think :)

There's definitely no need you feel silly or embarrassed. Questions like this is why VT and its members are here.

No one thinks you're silly, i promise you that :)

Well.... now i feel silly for feeling silly! lol This is my life. :P

[Karalectric]

IThere was this girl who kept nagging. "Anita, when are you gonna date, when are you gonna get laid", etc. Eventually I had enough, and told her I just had sex with her mother. That shut her up. :P



OH that is GOOD. :lol:

*writing down to use later*

[Pultost]

OH that is GOOD. :lol:

*writing down to use later*

Thanks, put it to good use. ;)

[Emilyfox]

I'm 15 and I'm also a virgin. And in all honesty, I've never even held a guy's hand, much less been hugged, or touched, or kissed by a guy my own age.

Wow that’s really something, you look like guys would be lining up to ask you out !

[EthanMTX]

Most of us are all talk, me too….lol! I haven’t done much and not experienced all and never had sex yet and curious about it, but I am okay that I haven’t and cool with what I have done. The rest happens when it’s supposed too. Do what is right for you, when your ready and don’t worry about everyone else bc they mainly just talk too.

[LDavis05]

Yes I am inexperienced not done anything with a boy or girl ��

[Keenan.]

Sexually? Yes.
Romatically? Idk why, im not attractive but 3 girls asked me out (declined all lol (1 was a slut, 1 was weirdo/not attractive and 1 i regret saying no as she was totally my fit)) and I asked someone else out got on a date with her but we ended up hating each other. Now, she's one of my best friends. Funnily enough, 2 of them I am actually still friends with. 1 of them still digs me still lol

[Lexi_02]

Everyone starts out inexperienced. Don’t worry:)

[Lucy G]

Yes I am inexperienced not done anything with a boy or girl ��

Nothing wrong with that and nothing wrong in admitting it either.

[Coping]

Ha!! Wrong!!!! I am blonde. ;)

LMAO! :lol: :lol: :lol:

[Lindsaylovesyou]

We all start somewhere right ? Don’t worry

[Fiona2]

Okay, soooooo i mentioned elsewhere on here that i am not an experienced girl with sex. As in, i haven't and not sure if that will happen anytime soon. My last bf wanted to, but i said no. At school i sometimes feel pressures because others talk. And then i come on here and it feels like everyone else has done so much and makes me feel ever more inexperienced! Heck, i even feel pressured just to have a bf!!!! I know there are lots of others like me, but i feel like we just don't talk that up for fear of not measuring up maybe or suffering socially or some reason or another? I dunno what i am looking for here. Maybe to hear from others on here my age who haven't had done much and to be told it is okay? I am 15 btw.

I'm very inexperienced also and there are a lot of girls our age that are inexperienced.

[nadja]

Well, I'm not inexperienced. But noone should feel pressured. For some, the right time is a bit earlier and for others its later. It's everything okay as long as you feel comfortable..