Sex / sexual activity on first date / meeting

[tessa-]

Does this doom a relationship or can it be an amazing start to something wonderful?

[Natacha]

It can be an amazing start

[Caycedilla]

I wouldn’t have sex with anyone without getting to know them first, and not just as an acquaintance I might share a class or two with. I can’t ever see myself going out with someone for the first time and doing anything sexual

For me personally I guess I’m saying it would ruin it right from the start. I wouldn’t know someone else on a personal level and I wouldn’t ever feel right about it. I can actually see myself feeling more guilty, embarrassed and full of regret than anything

[Oscar-V3.0]

Does this doom a relationship or can it be an amazing start to something wonderful?
Getting a kiss on first date is a good start
Going directly to bed... I don't think you know your partner enough to go so far

[mick01]

Sexual activity on a first date doesn't necessarily doom the relationship, but I don't think it's a good idea. I think you should get to know the person some.

[Falcons_11]

In this day and age, trying to have sex or even getting a kiss on a first date is pretty risky for males, at least. In the era of #Metoo movement and others, it could really end wrong and possibly destroy your reputation. It's best to just be respectful toward the lady you had the first date with and don't expect anything more than a nice "Thank You for a nice evening". Otherwise, you may need an expensive lawyer.

[ska8er]

I think it is too fast to just jump
into it. It depends on the people
but it could seem like something
cheap. If u want a true relationship
out of a first date then u have to get
to know each other better.

[WHATWOULDYOUDOFORLUV]

Sex without love deminishes the experience (at least for me it does.)
Which leaves the option of love at first site. Does it exist.?
I told my girlfriend, months after the fact, that it wasn't only love at first sight but I loved her before I even met her. I was in love with the idea that she even existed.
After dating several girls, not always hooking up, I got a sense of the girl I wanted..what traits I like and the ones I don't. In my imagination I had the the perfect girl. .
One day I walked into a room and there she was. So it can exist...

95% of the time I'm against it. Sex has consequences
Besides the obvious slut shaming, the guy usually gets insecurity issues down the line..if you're "that easy" he won't let you out of his sight.. afraid of who you talk to, afraid of who you text etc... no going out with friends while he's at work.

If you both put off, as a rule, then he'll know any other guy will have to work very hard to have sexual relations with you, and that s not going to happen without some notice. Insecururity issues solved. Well at least some of them.

[Katie2003]

I started out dating girls exclusively and still prefer girls like 90%, and always had sex with those girls on the first date because I felt it was a great ice breaker and would help determine our suitability to have any sort of ongoing relationship. I've had sex with every girl I've dated on the first date except for one, I haven't had sex with the girl I'm currently in a relationship with yet and we don't plan to for some time as she knows she's not ready for it and I respect that value she feels so strongly about. Since I am always the submissive partner in all of my relationships, I leave it to the other girl to decide what's appropriate for us, but make it clear that I am open to sex.

With boys it's a bit different, one boy I dated it took several months before either of us felt we were ready and wanted to. He was my first and I've never had vaginal intercourse with a boy that I've dated, only anal. The only other boy I've dated is strictly a FWB arrangement and we had sex within minutes of getting together for the first time.........

[Shiny Moon]

Well, it depends. If the sex is bad it can doom the relationship, but if it's good then it's a nice start.

[Maxbreak]

As long as U both feel special during and afterwards, yes. f a boy truly cared, there's a lot more to just "wham bam, thankyou mam".

[Fuwod9giw9s9c9e9]

I dont think it has to be either extreme, depending on how it was and how you feel about each other, it could be good or bad. :)

[jamie_n5]

I think it's a bit odd to have sex on a first date. It doesn't doom the relationship but it does happen and now it's up to you to continue the relationship and see how it goes. Don't you dare make the relationship all about sex either. You better expand the other aspects of a relationship too.

[Karalectric]

Kissing, yea. But sex, nope!!! I think taking things slow is always best because it seems like next next next level stuff?? But i am an inxperienced 15 year old, what do i know? :)

[RileyX]

Well it can go a few ways, you start to have a relationship, he could ghost you, or he could just see you as the girl he can keep coming back to when hes horny

[Zika]

I don't think there's anything wrong with sex on a first date and it doesn't necessarily doom the relationship, but if you have sex on the first date, sex will become the focus of the relationship, which may not be bad if that's what you want.

People aren't going to want to just hang out together instead of having sex.

Depends what you're looking for. If you want a romantic, loving relationship, it would be difficult to get there if sex is out there first, but it does work for some people.

[Uniquemind]

It can work but it tends to make relationships even ones that work out volatile in the beginning.

Definitely raises your chances for casual sex seekers to cross paths with you, and if you aren’t prepared for that it basically would raise chances an emotional abuser will find you.

Love through sex, isn’t the way to go, love or a strong attraction first with real value in wanting to be around someone you admire beyond sexual attraction, should precede any sexual act.

[tessa-]

Well, it depends. If the sex is bad it can doom the relationship, but if it's good then it's a nice start.

It was the best ever lol

[tessa-]

Only asked because it happened
Amazing New Years party at a hotel
Wasn’t planned, quite the opposite
It was just we really hit it off and some things happened fast and later on it just felt right
I’ve already spent time again with him today and we slowed things down a lot and he asked me to take some time and really consider being his gf
I’m like so spun out
I feel like I don’t deserve a guy like this if he’s for real and I think he is <3

[hayley2003]

I kinda think its like buying a lotto ticket. Sure, you might hit the jackpot and live happily ever after with Mr. Perfect. I can even tell you some examples of people who have been married for over 50 years getting married after only knowing each other for a few days.

However, unless you're that one in a 1 bzillion couple, you're more likely to to be a couple that ends up on the TV news becomes something very very bad has happened, and nobody can take it back.

OK, maybe not that bad for most people. But odds that it will turn out bad are high.

[Uniquemind]

Only asked because it happened
Amazing New Years party at a hotel
Wasn’t planned, quite the opposite
It was just we really hit it off and some things happened fast and later on it just felt right
I’ve already spent time again with him today and we slowed things down a lot and he asked me to take some time and really consider being his gf
I’m like so spun out
I feel like I don’t deserve a guy like this if he’s for real and I think he is <3

If that’s the case, then go for it, but proceed wisely and cautiously. If you’re going to continue a sexually active lifestyle then you need a rush course of all things std/sti’s, pregnancy, and puberty. Not to mention emotional support systems in place for all the give-n-take that relationships bring.

For instance my last relationship fell through not because we didn’t have feelings but because life pulled us in two separate directions at no fault of our own.

I strongly urge you to consult a gynecologist.

———

That being said approach cautiously, and make sure respect is there; is he a type of guy you can introduce to your parents? I’d imagine recent events would have your parents watching you like a momma papa bear does her cubs, after recent events you told us.

[RileyX]

Only asked because it happened
Amazing New Years party at a hotel
Wasn’t planned, quite the opposite
It was just we really hit it off and some things happened fast and later on it just felt right
I’ve already spent time again with him today and we slowed things down a lot and he asked me to take some time and really consider being his gf
I’m like so spun out
I feel like I don’t deserve a guy like this if he’s for real and I think he is <3

Lol looks like you got more than just a kiss then, id say go for it and see where it goes

[tessa-]

I kinda think its like buying a lotto ticket. Sure, you might hit the jackpot and live happily ever after with Mr. Perfect. I can even tell you some examples of people who have been married for over 50 years getting married after only knowing each other for a few days.

However, unless you're that one in a 1 bzillion couple, you're more likely to to be a couple that ends up on the TV news becomes something very very bad has happened, and nobody can take it back.

OK, maybe not that bad for most people. But odds that it will turn out bad are high.

I’m feeling really lucky so far :)

[Katie2003]

Kissing, yea. But sex, nope!!! I think taking things slow is always best because it seems like next next next level stuff?? But i am an inxperienced 15 year old, what do i know? :)

Actually, I have had major emotional issues which are at least partly due to my promiscuous behavior at such an early age and wish I had done things more slowly and thought about the possible issues I would be creating for myself emotionally. I can't go back now and take those things back that I did. I did them voluntarily and my mom knew what I was doing and told me to respect my body and the bodies of those I was with, which seemed to be approval to do things experimenting with each other sexually if both people were consenting. But nothing was said about the possible lack of maturity, or being able to understand what consenting could lead to emotionally..........

Your behavior is way better than mine, and I think that you are right to go slowly and cautiously. Each of us must do what she feels is right, and what someone else does shouldn't influence us to do the same thing if we aren't ready to.

[Zachary G]

sex on the first date isnt a bad thing, but its not necessarily the smart thing because you really havent had any time to get to know your partner. maybe by the 3-5th date you should know enough to make that decision.

[Karalectric]

Actually, I have had major emotional issues which are at least partly due to my promiscuous behavior at such an early age and wish I had done things more slowly and thought about the possible issues I would be creating for myself emotionally. I can't go back now and take those things back that I did. I did them voluntarily and my mom knew what I was doing and told me to respect my body and the bodies of those I was with, which seemed to be approval to do things experimenting with each other sexually if both people were consenting. But nothing was said about the possible lack of maturity, or being able to understand what consenting could lead to emotionally..........

Your behavior is way better than mine, and I think that you are right to go slowly and cautiously. Each of us must do what she feels is right, and what someone else does shouldn't influence us to do the same thing if we aren't ready to.

Right!! And in many wayd i feel like i am coming into these things on the late end of things, at least compared to other girls... story of my life... by inexperienced i meant in general with relationships really. I don't know what i am doing. lol We just gotta live and learn.

[Bluegrass]

It might be a good start but it might also mean he's just looking for sex.

[Maxbreak]

Only asked because it happened
Amazing New Years party at a hotel
Wasn’t planned, quite the opposite
It was just we really hit it off and some things happened fast and later on it just felt right
I’ve already spent time again with him today and we slowed things down a lot and he asked me to take some time and really consider being his gf
I’m like so spun out
I feel like I don’t deserve a guy like this if he’s for real and I think he is <3

U deserve to be happy. Youve had a bad time b4 this. It sounds like this boy is treating u good. Enjoy the moment ;-)

[tessa-]

Thanks :)

[Oscar-V3.0]

Kissing, yea. But sex, nope!!! I think taking things slow is always best
I agree 100%

[ChrisA1998]

Kissing, yea. But sex, nope!!! I think taking things slow is always best because it seems like next next next level stuff?? But i am an inxperienced 15 year old, what do i know? :)
At least you know you shouldn't rush into bed, and take your time, wait to be ready. That's smart for an inexperienced 15 yo ! :cool:

I agree 100%
I agree 200% :P

[TRAbitha13]

Does this doom a relationship or can it be an amazing start to something wonderful?

It can be wonderful at first, but it seems to fade away really fast

[KatieCO2003]

Nope. Couldn't do it. I'll be lucky if I can even speak on a first date.

[ArfyMcPeesh]

I would have to have a first date first.

Honestly I wouldn’t say no but with no experience it would be a disaster. I think it depends on the situation.

[Naters2000]

I don't think having sexual relationships on a first date are a very good idea. It's best not to rush into anything so you can build a better foundation of trust and respect.

[tessa-]

Nope. Couldn't do it. I'll be lucky if I can even speak on a first date.

I think in a normal situation I’d have struggled to get that far too
But I’ve come out of a big mess lately and honestly it didn’t feel real, like it was really me or happening
But was very special

[hayley2003]

I think in a normal situation I’d have struggled to get that far too
But I’ve come out of a big mess lately and honestly it didn’t feel real, like it was really me or happening
But was very special

What kind of big mess are you talking about? If you don't want to say what it is in public, you can send me a private message.

anyways, hope you are better now!

[tessa-]

What kind of big mess are you talking about? If you don't want to say what it is in public, you can send me a private message.

anyways, hope you are better now!

Thanks, I’ll PM you soon, about to go out <3

[mattsmith48]

I meet my current gf at a party and we had sex that night, 3 years later were still together, were in love and living together.

[StephWilson]

I think it could be a good start to a relationship as long as both ppl feel comfortable and connected with one another. I’ve never had sex on a first date/hangout but I don’t think it would bother me if it were to happen