Theory of soulmate!

[Jason The Great]

So, i came to realize that maybe the whole soulmate idea is rubbish. I was in a relationship for a year with a beautiful girl and got along pretty well. But she said she's tired and she wants meet new people. and just like that she thrown a relationship we both worked for it into bin.

only 1 out of my 10 friends is in a happy relationship, and its only been two months they're dating.

the thing is... what if we were born alone? no soulmates at all. I mean look at divorce statistics.

I really like to know your opinions. do you believe in true love? the kind of love that lasts forever?

[Natacha]

If you want to believe in soulmates, you shouldn't lose faith just because one suddenly got away. Then the probably wasn't the one. I'm sure there are several people who could fit into your personality good enough to seem like a soulmate. Have you thought about a soulmate maybe is a best friend and not necessarily something involving sex?

Personally I don't believe is soulmates, but in friends, family og lovers you will do anything for. Not one but several people.

[Jrunner]

I don't know about soulmates but yeah the divorce rate is pretty scary and the idea of being alone for ur entire life is like worse than hell

[Oscar-V3.0]

I really like to know your opinions. do you believe in true love? the kind of love that lasts forever?
I feel real good with my gf, but I can't swear on god we will stay together forever.

Many weddings end in a divorce allright, but many dont. My parents have been together for nearly 20 years, some times there are arguments but they're still in love :wub:

[Sevro au Barca]

You make an interesting point, but I would strongly encourage you not to give up after one unhappily-ended relationship. Plus, I don't know about you, but I wouldn't say your relationship was a failure; it sounds like you shared plenty of happy memories together, and while I'm sure the breakup is agonizing, would you really say that you'd get rid of all the happy times just to take the sad along with them?

Dunno if you're much of a Tolkien fan or not, but he has a quote that I usually like to reference in this kind of situation:

"Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might have found more suitable mates. But the 'real soul-mate' is the one you are actually married to."

In other words, yeah, shit happens. There's no such thing as a true "soul-mate." But if you both put in enough effort, and you're relatively compatible people, things will probably work themselves out.

Of course, on the other hand, there's the fact that, by nature, humans aren't really meant to be monogamous. If you just look at how evolution works, a single, life-long relationship just isn't how most people are wired. You can choose whether that's a problem for you or not.

[yeehaw]

I feel real good with my gf, but I can't swear on god we will stay together forever.

This!!!

—

personally, i only think the divorce rate is high because the global culture has developed and decided that getting a divorce is okay. Not even that long ago people weren’t allowed to divorce or would be punished if they got divorced due to the strong hold of religion at that timepoint. Because the option wasn’t there there were many more happy marriages than there are now as people know they have the option to do so and won’t face as many repercussions - anyway, aren’t the most of us developing a need for instant gratification and shorter attention span anyway due to technology? That could influence it.

tldr; if soulmates didn’t exist the divorce rate would’ve been high all the time but it’s only recently

—

i don’t think there’s just one soulmate out there for us, as the idea of “one true match” is a bit outdated due to our ballooning population. i think it can apply to friends and such as well - i’ve met friends and felt like such a good platonic pairing with them, like the idea of a soulmate but purely as a friend, that’s how i like to think of it.

[Shiny Moon]

I like the idea, though I haven't found mine yet. Or maybe I have already meet him/her but haven't realised yet :rolleyes: who knows...

[Jason The Great]

If you want to believe in soulmates, you shouldn't lose faith just because one suddenly got away. Then the probably wasn't the one. I'm sure there are several people who could fit into your personality good enough to seem like a soulmate. Have you thought about a soulmate maybe is a best friend and not necessarily something involving sex?

Personally I don't believe is soulmates, but in friends, family og lovers you will do anything for. Not one but several people.

I actually was in love with my bestfriend two years ago and she said she doesn't want to ruin our friendship with romance and I kinda dealt with it. Most people rather date people they dont know, at least its true about people i know.

I feel real good with my gf, but I can't swear on god we will stay together forever.

Many weddings end in a divorce allright, but many dont. My parents have been together for nearly 20 years, some times there are arguments but they're still in love :wub:

Well, i hope you stay together happily, good relationships are blessing. I agree, same goes for my parents, but our generation is different. I was watching news the other day and divorce is now a normal thing these days. Sad but true. I see young couple who has little tolerance and with a slightest problem in their life, they initiate divorce.

You make an interesting point, but I would strongly encourage you not to give up after one unhappily-ended relationship. Plus, I don't know about you, but I wouldn't say your relationship was a failure; it sounds like you shared plenty of happy memories together, and while I'm sure the breakup is agonizing, would you really say that you'd get rid of all the happy times just to take the sad along with them?

Dunno if you're much of a Tolkien fan or not, but he has a quote that I usually like to reference in this kind of situation:

"Nearly all marriages, even happy ones, are mistakes: in the sense that almost certainly (in a more perfect world, or even with a little more care in this very imperfect one) both partners might have found more suitable mates. But the 'real soul-mate' is the one you are actually married to."

In other words, yeah, shit happens. There's no such thing as a true "soul-mate." But if you both put in enough effort, and you're relatively compatible people, things will probably work themselves out.

Of course, on the other hand, there's the fact that, by nature, humans aren't really meant to be monogamous. If you just look at how evolution works, a single, life-long relationship just isn't how most people are wired. You can choose whether that's a problem for you or not.

Yes we had pretty good moments together. We've been together for a year, and it kinda made her friends jealous. Her friends never had a long-term relationship and always told her focusing on one person is a mistake and she needs to meet other people and not waste her youth on a single guy. Im also a Tolkien fan :D, thanks for the quote.



This!!!

—

personally, i only think the divorce rate is high because the global culture has developed and decided that getting a divorce is okay. Not even that long ago people weren’t allowed to divorce or would be punished if they got divorced due to the strong hold of religion at that timepoint. Because the option wasn’t there there were many more happy marriages than there are now as people know they have the option to do so and won’t face as many repercussions - anyway, aren’t the most of us developing a need for instant gratification and shorter attention span anyway due to technology? That could influence it.

tldr; if soulmates didn’t exist the divorce rate would’ve been high all the time but it’s only recently

—

i don’t think there’s just one soulmate out there for us, as the idea of “one true match” is a bit outdated due to our ballooning population. i think it can apply to friends and such as well - i’ve met friends and felt like such a good platonic pairing with them, like the idea of a soulmate but purely as a friend, that’s how i like to think of it.

Technology is a vital factor in people's relationships these days, i agree . We dont have a tinder in our country but Instagram direct made it pretty easy for people to go nuts. I don't like it. Idea of sending a stranger a PM and getting laid that way doesn't suit my taste. I'm old-fashioned and i dont like getting laid . But I guess we have to deal with it.

You're right. There are many people who also succeed in marriage, and i hope when i get married i'll be in that category. I'm an optimist.

I like the idea, though I haven't found mine yet. Or maybe I have already meet him/her but haven't realised yet :rolleyes: who knows...

I wish you the best of luck :yummy:

[Jordan99]

I'm in love. Have been for the past four years with the same guy. "Soulmates"? I don't know. I think proximity has a lot to do with how and when we meet those we're attracted to and eventually fall in love with. As much as I love Doug, we did meet in HS together and he was/is a friend of my brother. I'm pretty sure if we'd lived in another State, town or even country I would have found someone who I clicked with and could have possibly fallen in love with him. Don't get me wrong. I am VERY, VERY happy with my BF and love life and don't even want to imagine my life without him...I just think proximity has a LOT to do with it. I'm sure if we hadn't met I would have eventually met someone else either in college or in the working/professional world. Even though I am in a committed and loving relationship I still notice other great guys who are handsome, funny, polite, kind, etc.

[Uniquemind]

Soulmates don’t exist.

Proof:

1. Remarriage exists

2. Global imbalance of the genders existing at any point in time making a monogamous 1:1 ratio impossible. Which either proofs soulmates wrong or monogamy wrong. Which throws Christian monogamy doctrine for a loop.

[Oscar-V3.0]

Soulmates don’t exist.

Proof:

1. Remarriage exists.
So...??

How is that a proof?

Some marriages end breaking up, allright, but the majority doesn't

[Uniquemind]

So...??

How is that a proof?

Some marriages end breaking up, allright, but the majority doesn't

Because the concept of the soulmate is that you are the one true perfect half of the partner.


Right because I’d say remarriage happens, what is the quality of the remarriage partner? Second best? That’s insulting, that’s implying that the concept of a soulmate isn’t the black-n-white concept that it was marketed to be. What if you get married and it starts out great and then they change?

It’s great marketing for companies to push this simplistic concept on us in animated romance tales, but it just isn’t realistic and I think it’s unhealthy to approach dating and romance with this kind of mindset.

The concept of soulmates actually trace back to Egyptian mythology about the twin-soul, myth/belief.


Either way I don’t believe it, it sounds all great and romantic, but at least upon deeper further thought I saw it had a darkside.


The other negative is that soulmate beliefs can promote a passive mindset about romance, that behavior modification is a powerless act and that all responsibility to make yourself as desirable and independent as an individual is up to fate.

I don’t think people in the modern day reject that their choices in life strongly influenced how likely they are to make friends in general, why should romance but too much different.

The more people you meet, the more social you are, the higher your statistics you’ll meet someone you want to be with and you work on the quality of the relationship as a team.


Soulmates is soooo 1900’s

[Zachary G]

i dont think anyone really finds their true soulmate until they are adults and it usually happens later in life for most people. Sometimes it happens for people much younger, like my parents met when they were teens and have been together for a long time until recently.

[ChrisA1998]

So, i came to realize that maybe the whole soulmate idea is rubbish. I was in a relationship for a year with a beautiful girl and got along pretty well. But she said she's tired and she wants meet new people. and just like that she thrown a relationship we both worked for it into bin.

only 1 out of my 10 friends is in a happy relationship, and its only been two months they're dating.

the thing is... what if we were born alone? no soulmates at all. I mean look at divorce statistics.

I really like to know your opinions. do you believe in true love? the kind of love that lasts forever?

I think at 20 yo, you have plenty of experience to make. Maybe it is too young to be with one girl forever. You have time to find the right one :)

[Jason The Great]

I think at 20 yo, you have plenty of experience to make. Maybe it is too young to be with one girl forever. You have time to find the right one :)

Thanks mate. But I decided to get married as soon as I can, since I'm done with pointless relationships. I just need to find a suitable girl. My father got married when he was 17 :D

[ChrisA1998]

Thanks mate. But I decided to get married as soon as I can, since I'm done with pointless relationships. I just need to find a suitable girl. My father got married when he was 17 :D
Just because you go out with a girl for a while but not for life, that doesn't mean the relation is pointless ;)

I had highs and lows with girls (and a few boys too) but I wouldn't change a thing coz that's part of my experience

Mum told me to get married as late as possible. As long as you're single or at least not engaged for life, you can profit to have fun, go nights out with friends, go to discotheques, bars, go out on weekends have fun.
When you are married, all this is over. especially when kids arrive lol

I am 20, honestly, I dont see me getting engaged for life now, and have my little routine life at home, going back every night with just a girl as my sole company

[ska8er]

When ur young u fall in and out of love
very easily more so than when u probably
get older and u have more experience with
feelings and getting to know each other better.
I think then it is a good chance where u can
sometimes find a soul mate. But Id admit that
today it is hard to find someone who is always
compatible.

[Oscar-V3.0]

Because the concept of the soulmate is that you are the one true perfect half of the partner.

Right because I’d say remarriage happens, what is the quality of the remarriage partner? Second best?
If you divorce and remarry, it just means you thought your partner was your soul mate, but in fact it wasn't, so you just misjudged

That doesn't your soul mate does not exist at all

[Bluegrass]

You are absolutely right the divorce statistics speak for themselves and many married couples together are not in love with each other.My parents are together 23 years are they in love?Hell no not the least bit.I do think there are soul mates but very very unlikely it happens.There are just to many things that make people different and people get tired of one other.

[Oscar-V3.0]

You are absolutely right the divorce statistics speak for themselves and many married couples together are not in love with each other
I dont agree with that. Just because you divorce doesn't mean you weren't in love. It just went away for whatever reason. I'm pretty sure most couples are in love when they get married, even if it doesn't last forever

[Uniquemind]

I dont agree with that. Just because you divorce doesn't you weren't in love. It just went away for whatever reason. I'm pretty sure most couples are in love when they get married, even if it doesn't last forever

I believe in the resonating spirits theory instead of soul mates theory or belief as it has a wider and more broader explanation of all kinds of relationships both really good and really really bad dysfunctional ones.

And you’re forgetting about remarriage due to tragic loss of a partner, not just by willful decision of divorce in the former theory.

[Bluegrass]

I dont agree with that. Just because you divorce doesn't you weren't in love. It just went away for whatever reason. I'm pretty sure most couples are in love when they get married, even if it doesn't last forever

Yeah like I said people get tired of each other.

[Oscar-V3.0]

I believe in the resonating spirits theory instead of soul mates theory or belief as it has a wider and more broader explanation of all kinds of relationships both really good and really really bad dysfunctional ones.
I didn't get a thing. What is this theory?

And you’re forgetting about remarriage due to tragic loss of a partner, not just by willful decision of divorce in the former theory.
This can happen too unfortunately, but this doesn't fit in our debate of 'soulmates exist or not' ;)

[WHATWOULDYOUDOFORLUV]

LOVE...the overestimation of a sexual partner..love is blind, all those qwere traits that are sooo cute today......are the biggest pet peeves of tomorrow. Under it all your soulmate/ lover needs to be your best friend..
Friends and soulmates experience life together and share similar ideas and feelings about those experiences.
If she wants to walk around the mall and I hate it. I want to play Xbox and she hates it. What do we end end up doing. She's at the mall with friends and god knows who and I'm at my buddies. Not good.

I met a girl, a friend of a friend and we talked. Within an hour we were finishing each other sentences,from politics to people we knew to the conspiracies of mass media. I swear I thought I was talking to myself. eerie
But, being a shallow guy, I picked the girl that turned heads when she walks into the room. Hey, a swing and a miss, but the games isn't over yet...for anybody. Keep your eyes open ,or shut for me in this case.

[Jason The Great]

I swear to God, sometimes I think about keep these nonsense relationships away from myself, travel to a Temple in mountains, shave my hair and become a priest or something. At least I have peace of mind away from drama...everyday just medtation

[Uniquemind]

Oscar2005

It’s the belief that at any given moment there’s a sliding scale spectrum of personality, goals, and interests everybody has or experiences people share, for the sake of this discussion the genetic material both phenotypical and genetypical, are defined as an experience, especially the genes that predispose you how you express or process emotions.


From there other experiences are things like life events that shape you.

This results in each individual being more or less predisposed to be more alike or dislike other people, and unlike the old saying “opposites attract” when it comes to real relationships people tend to gravitate towards “things that are similar or the same”.


This is how friendships and romances form, and also how certain people just don’t get along either.


So someone who resonates with someone else in a mutual way, it feels like soul mates because the pairing makes sense.

But Goes farther to explain polyamorous or group romances that are closed, or even a really close bond between parent and child or even cousins or siblings. Identical Twin relationships too resonate, sometimes in a more special way they sense when the other one is off somehow.


It also has enough wiggle room to explain how people who don’t resonate at the beginning begin to learn from each other’s vibe and make a relationship work and both synchronize to the others rhythm, and become close over time if both are willing to humble themselves toward the goal of making a relationship work.


Make sense? That’s the best tl;dr I can do right now.

[TRAbitha13]

So, i came to realize that maybe the whole soulmate idea is rubbish. I was in a relationship for a year with a beautiful girl and got along pretty well. But she said she's tired and she wants meet new people. and just like that she thrown a relationship we both worked for it into bin.

only 1 out of my 10 friends is in a happy relationship, and its only been two months they're dating.

the thing is... what if we were born alone? no soulmates at all. I mean look at divorce statistics.

I really like to know your opinions. do you believe in true love? the kind of love that lasts forever?

Bleh.. soulmates,
the "one perfect person" that is right for you forever is a bunch of bull poop

[ChrisA1998]

Bleh.. soulmates,
the "one perfect person" that is right for you forever is a bunch of bull poop

nope, coz it does exist. Some couples do stay together for life :P

[Naters2000]

Yeah, I believe in true love. I feel like if you go looking, eventually you'll find it.