Stopping rumours at school

[Oscar-V3.0]

Hi I have an issue with some rumour about me at school
After November break, I started to date a girl, she was cool as a friend, but as a friend she was annoying (i keep the word soft). So after a week I broke up.
Then another girl asked me. I didn't expect it from her, and i have rarely been asked, but I liked her so we went together.
The issue is that people at school assume that I dumped the first gf just after a few days to go with the second. Which is absolutely not the case. First, I broke with the first because she was a pain, and then it was second asking me out, and AFTER we broke up.
I even heard a girl, which I dont even know, tell another girl 'hey that's the guy who dumped her gf to go after another. Who does this idiot think he is? poor girl, she must feel like a kleenex'
I know this is the rumour spreading around, and it starts to piss me off, is there not a way to stop rumours especially that are not true?

[ChloeF]

You'll probably get in trouble for it but violence is the easiest way to stop rumours.

[Pultost]

You'll probably get in trouble for it but violence is the easiest way to stop rumours.

Violence doesn't solve anything. There are better ways, like communicating, for example.

[breaux]

just ignore it until it's over.. can't really stop a rumor

[tessa-]

Violence doesn't solve anything. There are better ways, like communicating, for example.

Most of human history shows it can for various things
Sometimes smacking the person who is telling stories about you shows your denial is serious

[Natacha]

Violence doesn't solve anything. There are better ways, like communicating, for example.

I agree. But everyone would think less of you, if you use the explaination you did to us: "The first one was a pain and annoying". If you can protect her a little bit from that while explaining, that would be cool

[Pultost]

Most of human history shows it can for various things
Sometimes smacking the person who is telling stories about you shows your denial is serious

If he's a total wimp, sure. But normally that would only breed more violence, and it'll be added to the pile of rumors.

I agree. But everyone would think less of you, if you use the explaination you did to us: "The first one was a pain and annoying". If you can protect her a little bit from that while explaining, that would be cool

I agree on this, there are better ways to put things.

[InternetTeen]

Violence doesn't solve anything. There are better ways, like communicating, for example.

Violence can help if you scare them to death. They won't be spreading anything afterwards.

[Pultost]

Violence can help if you scare them to death. They won't be spreading anything afterwards.

Sure, you can find the source and beat the shit out of them, and tell them there's more where that came from if the rumors don't stop, but that'll eventually spawn more problems.

[ChloeF]

Sure, you can find the source and beat the shit out of them, and tell them there's more where that came from if the rumors don't stop, but that'll eventually spawn more problems.
No it wont, one good beating is usually enough for people to understand you mean business and they'll cop the same if it goes any further.

[Maxbreak]

Not keen initially on using the violence. Given it's now the xmas break, U could leave it for a few days to see if it quietens down and that the first girl has moved on.
Then trying to go onto an explanation level, hopefully with the help from the first girl. I'm not sure how hitting anyone will help, as hitting the person that started the rumour will hot help the fact it's out. Would Ur gf now really want U to hit someone?

[jamie_n5]

I would just try and ignore it. Just live your life. Violence or bullying or things like that don't solve anything. Just worry about how you conduct yourself and not how others do. All of this will blow over and be forgotten in a few weeks time.

[Ashley2004]

The more you try to stop a rumor, the rumors that will spread. Ignore it and move on. Who cares what other think or say anyway.

[Uniquemind]

I’m not going to get into the use of violence for an issue of magnitude of this level.

Having a reputation as even a womanizer isn’t going to affect you by the time you get to college so simply letting time pass and showing the world you keep healthy relationships with women on the average will show your true colors.



While it is true violence is shown to be profitable (remember the native Americans we almost wiped out so that North America became USA, Canada, and Mexico?). It has repercussions that are only deserving to be triggered as a tradeoff in times of war in which loved ones are being threatened.

—-

With that said an alternative strategy to the traditional male fists solve problems, is to ask your girlfriend to tell people your upset by the rumors because they aren’t true, and let the gossip wheels turn, that another girl coming along or not, still would’ve caused a breakup for other reasons it just wasn’t working out and those reasons out of respect to your first girlfriend, you will not discuss. Like make your personal-public dating policy known.

For instance, my dating policy is I keep my breakup details usually private, unless the reason for the breakup were to shine a light on abusive behavior. I also on a case by case basis might discuss details of mutual friends who have dated the same person, just because of that shared common thread comparing notes can be a healthy thing if done with light-hearted intentions.


Again, only use violence if you’re in a situation where law and order have failed you as a system.

The whole point about about law and order is that it replaces the need to get violent.

This isn’t one of those times.

[InternetTeen]

Ignore the rumour. Everyone will forget after the Christmas Holidays anyway.

[Pultost]

No it wont, one good beating is usually enough for people to understand you mean business and they'll cop the same if it goes any further.

I can understand that it's tempting to beat them up, but you can easily end up in a bad light that way. Like others have mentioned, it's best to let it pass until people don't care anymore.

[Oscar-V3.0]

Guys guys guys... Many of you talk about violence... Am I supposed to punch that girl in the face??

[kro814]

No violence that never solves anything. Keep it simple. Things just didn't work with the first girl. Period. Nice girl just not for you. Period.

The rumors will go away.

[Zika]

No it wont, one good beating is usually enough for people to understand you mean business and they'll cop the same if it goes any further.

I"m surprised to hear that from an Aussie lol

[ChloeF]

I"m surprised to hear that from an Aussie lolWhy?

[Zika]

Why?

Oh, the image of Aussies is of being peaceful. It's not necessarily true, but it is the image.

Olivia Newton-John would never say anything like that. Then again, wasn't her husband's death suspicious?

So maybe not.

[ShineintheDark]

Rumours suck but they stop after a while. Maybe just be wisest to suffer through it a while till it dies

[Oscar-V3.0]

Rumours suck but they stop after a while. Maybe just be wisest to suffer through it a while till it dies
The issue is it also affects my gf, she hears things like what kind of girl is she dating a guy like that? :mad:

[ShineintheDark]

The issue is it also affects my gf, she hears things like what kind of girl is she dating a guy like that? :mad:

Give her support if she's upset and give the same advise. If she really can't handle the rumours then you'll just have to confront the rumours head on and explain yourself.

[SethfromMI]

Once rumors are out there they are out there. There will be people who will believe them and people who won't. Sadly once they are out there, there is not a lot you can do. If you try to beat them up, you will be expelled or worse depending on the degree of the beating/any possible legal ramifications they and their family chooses to take (saying you beat them for spreading rumors will not hold up in a court of law).

All you can do is live your life. If someone asks you for the truth you can do it. Other than that, try to ignore the rumors. Be the bigger person. Be the person of integrity. Sadly that's all you can do sometimes. It may not change much, but being the bigger and better person sometimes means you are not going to be treated fairly.

[Zika]

I agree. But everyone would think less of you, if you use the explaination you did to us: "The first one was a pain and annoying". If you can protect her a little bit from that while explaining, that would be cool

that's a very nice way of putting it.

[Oscar-V3.0]

I agree. But everyone would think less of you, if you use the explaination you did to us: "The first one was a pain and annoying". If you can protect her a little bit from that while explaining, that would be cool
Protect her? Not a chance. If anything, I would protect the other guys from her. She harrassed me, she was always after me. one evening she phoned 10 times in a row while I had some important homework to do. She just didn't care one bit if I was busy, only she mattered. If I wouldn't answer her text message within a minute, she would sent messages again and again until I answered. Once, I was having dinner with my family, when I came back, i had 43 messages, including one threatening to break up if i didn't answer

So yes, she is a pain, and you know where

[Oscar-V3.0]

(Double post sorry)

[Zika]

Protect her? Not a chance. If anything, I would protect the other guys from her. She harrassed me, she was always after me. one evening she phoned 10 times in a row while I had some important homework to do. She just didn't care one bit if I was busy, only she mattered. If I wouldn't answer her text message within a minute, she would sent messages again and again until I answered. Once, I was having dinner with my family, when I came back, i had 43 messages, including one threatening to break up if i didn't answer

So yes, she is a pain, and you know where

I think what Natasha is suggesting is using a bit of tact and discretion. There's no reason for you to tell the public why you split up with her, just explain that things didn't work out for you, but your current gf wasn't even in the pic at the time you split up. Bad talking your ex makes you look like a cad.

That said, if she really is a wingnut, there's nothing wrong with letting a guy know, if you know he's about to get with her. But I wouldn't go spreading it around. It makes you look bad.

[Bluegrass]

I never heard anyone say they must feel like a Kleenex lol I should keep that in mind.If they really want to know tell them you just did not feel it was right.I mean there are married couples that last like two weeks so they should understand.

[scott2002]

Hi I have an issue with some rumour about me at school
After November break, I started to date a girl, she was cool as a friend, but as a girlfriend she was annoying (i keep the word soft). So after a week I broke up.
Here's the real issue: You're 13. Your classmates are 13. ALL of this bf/gf and dating stuff is very new to ALL of you.
It could be that you're cute and attractive, and other girls are jealous of the attention you've been giving to those girls and wish it was to them.

[Karalectric]

I think i agree that the only thing you can do is wait it out!

[Oscar-V3.0]

Here's the real issue: You're 13. Your classmates are 13. ALL of this bf/gf and dating stuff is very new to ALL of you.
It could be that you're cute and attractive, and other girls are jealous of the attention you've been giving to those girls and wish it was to them.
If a girl wants my attention so bad, then she has to come up tell me lol. I'm not a fortune teller, i dont have a cristal ball and I dont read inside minds lol
But hey I dont pretend to be the super pretty boy that attracts all the girls of the school lol :D

[SethfromMI]

If a girl wants my attention so bad, then she has to come up tell me lol. I'm not a fortune teller, i dont have a cristal ball and I dont read inside minds lol
But hey I dont pretend to be the super pretty boy that attracts all the girls of the school lol :D

lol they can play the same games regardless of who you are haha. I guess we could be more forth coming sometimes ourselves though.

[Jason2005]

Guys guys guys... Many of you talk about violence... Am I supposed to punch that girl in the face??


You would punch a girl in the face?

[EvaNL]

I suggest telling the truth in a factly manner. Short and concise. "Girl A and I broke up and a few days later girl B asked me unexpectedly. And since I like her, I chose to go out with her." Nothing more, nothing less.
If people choose not to believe you: so be it. Their problem.
Sooner or later the rumours will go away. Either because enough time has passed that no-one cares anymore or another, bigger rumour has come along and everyone focuses on that.

Don't start a fight. It will only get you into trouble AND you will be talked about longer.

[Oscar-V3.0]

Violence can help if you scare them to death. They won't be spreading anything afterwards.
Sure, you can find the source and beat the shit out of them, and tell them there's more where that came from if the rumors don't stop, but that'll eventually spawn more problems.
Guys guys guys... Many of you talk about violence... Am I supposed to punch that girl in the face??
You would punch a girl in the face?
I was asking the 2 guys above if I was supposed to, i sure didn't say i did it

Btw this was so 4 months ago

[Jason2005]

Ya I bet we are closer in age than uthink.
Why would you even ask?
It maybe 4 months ago but a boy/teen/man doesnt punch girls.

How did it turn out?