Girl Crush/What do I do?

[Jordan99]

OK, so many of you know me and that I am 100% straight. I've been with the same guy since I was 15 and a half years old and we are in a loving, monogamous relationship. I hope to be his wife and the mother of his children some day and we're even getting engaged next year.

I have many girl friends and my BFF and I have been close since middle school but, there's a girl I met recently and I think about her a lot. Sometimes I'm even thinking about her when I go to bed at night, I don't understand it. I'm attracted to her but not just physically. I love her spunky attitude, her free spirit, her intelligence, etc. I think I have a girl crush on her and it makes me feel so conflicted. What makes it worse is that she is a few years younger than I am so that makes me feel bad that I'm attracted to her. She is MUCH more experienced with sex than I am and has a wonderful and healthy attitude about sex that I envy.

I don't want to labor on about this so I guess I'm just asking for advice and if any of you have ever been in the same situation. She has no idea I feel this way about her and she is straight too and with a boyfriend.

[ska8er]

Ur with ur guy for 4 years now. Don't
jeopardize ur relationship. U still can
b good friends with the girl but let it
stay at that. Curb ur feelings. We all
get crushes one time or another. Its
just don't take it further if it may hurt
a lot of feelings.

[Uniquemind]

Sometimes I see the phenomena of attraction as a very spiritual phenomenon that isn’t tied to the physical realm at all.

You just resonate with certain people, regardless of the gender of the vessel they inhabit if that makes sense.

Don’t guilt yourself over it, indulge in whatever fantasies you want, but know and hold fast to commitments.

Hope that helps.

[West Coast Sheriff]

I dig. I dig.
I sugguest you become good friends. You said she's younger but more sexually experienced. You are older and probably more life experienced. Mentor her as a young woman/girl and be friends.

if this continues for months, one tactic ould be, you could mention to your boyfriend- dont say you like her- but say you think shes reaaly chill.

One tactic, I might reccomend is distance yourself and get over her and move on wit it.
In your situation I would NOT reccomend this. She seems really cool and you girls could make for a sweet and awesome friendship. I thin the friendship is worth it.

Another tactic may be to masturbate to her image. That's weird but 55% chance it helps, 15% it makes things worse, 25-30% chance it does nothing

Main advice is to just contnue to be a good friend to her, and grow closer as good friends, help each other as girls and eventual young wome.
Good luck

[Katie2003]

Jordan, I'm gonna say go with your feelings. There's nothing wrong with liking another girl, you might become good friends, who knows you could even become lovers. Just make sure that your boyfriend knows you've made a new friend.

My mom who's a PhD in behavioral psychology says that a huge number of girls, likely the vast majority of us, are bisexual even though many girls might never proceed along those lines, they have the ability to get extremely strong feelings for other girls which could include being romantic or sexual together.

It's socially acceptable to be yourself. So just be yourself and go with your feelings! :)

[Caitigrrl]

What does your heart tell you?

[Jordan99]

What does your heart tell you?

My heart tells me and my mind knows I would NEVER cheat on my BF or risk our relationship and future. Still, I can't help that I'm attracted to this girl and I think about her a great deal. I want to spend time with her but don't trust that I could do so without letting her know I'm attracted to her.

I definitely plan on telling my BF about her and admitting to him I find her attractive. He's very supportive and loving and knows he means the world to me. This is a first for me. It's a bit confusing. I've NEVER been attracted to a girl before. She is cute (BEAUTIFUL) but I think it's her attitude, spirit and other things I like about her. I hope it's just a passing phase I'm going through and that maybe later on she and I can be friends without my being attracted to her. What would you do?

[Caitigrrl]

I don’t think I could do anything polyamorous myself, but I dunno, haven’t met another girl I’d want to with like that

[Jordan99]

I don’t think I could do anything polyamorous myself, but I dunno, haven’t met another girl I’d want to with like that

Yeah, I'm truly only sexually attracted to guys (my BF) and don't think I could have sex with a girl either but, for some strange reason I find myself attracted to her. Like I said, I'm just going to chalk it up to a passing phase. I'm POSITIVE it's going to turn on my BF when I tell him I find this girl attractive though. LoL!

[Caitigrrl]

Yeah, I'm truly only sexually attracted to guys (my BF) and don't think I could have sex with a girl either but, for some strange reason I find myself attracted to her. Like I said, I'm just going to chalk it up to a passing phase. I'm POSITIVE it's going to turn on my BF when I tell him I find this girl attractive though. LoL!

LOL
I didn’t want to say it but I expected he would be excited too

[Jordan99]

He'll be home for two weeks on Christmas break. I know he'll at least get a smile on his face when I tell him. ;) I wouldn't doubt it if he finds her cute too but, since he's 21 and she's underage there won't be anything going on so maybe we'll all just end up as friends with her and her boyfriend.

[Uniquemind]

He'll be home for two weeks on Christmas break. I know he'll at least get a smile on his face when I tell him. ;) I wouldn't doubt it if he finds her cute too but, since he's 21 and she's underage there won't be anything going on so maybe we'll all just end up as friends with her and her boyfriend.

Yeah the boyfriend might not be much help...usually they will hear stuff like this and think:

1. So is a threesome possible?


I think guys just are more sensitive to other male competition, evolutionary speaking, there’s no competition for the egg, from other females.



—

My follow up question to you is as a individual can you sense different kinds of attraction?

Because if it’s a strong attraction as in I want to know this person really really well to the point of close cuddles, but not necessarily I WANT TO EAT HER OUT RAWR!!! attraction.


I sometimes interpret that to mean perhaps your soul and her soul, were former siblings or even a parent-child, or a former lover towards her in a past relationship in a past life (I.e. you could’ve been the male or a lesbian in a past life), and the soul’s memory fragments from previous lives are bleeding over into emotional energy expression in your current life.



The problem is perhaps you are interpreting your feelings through conventional norms and beliefs of your current life as “Jordan” and therefore restricting the interpretation of your feelings based on that; hence your confusion.


Does this make sense to you?

[Anneki]

Yeah, I'm truly only sexually attracted to guys (my BF) and don't think I could have sex with a girl either but, for some strange reason I find myself attracted to her. Like I said, I'm just going to chalk it up to a passing phase. I'm POSITIVE it's going to turn on my BF when I tell him I find this girl attractive though. LoL!

You could try to ask him some questions about the topic before letting him know. What he thinks about this and that letting you know if you should break it or not and how. Because it could be a phase and who says that she is interested in you, she is with a guy too... and you shouldn't jeopardise your relationship because of a phase or temporary fantasy.

[tessa-]

I’m feeling so anti boy right now i’d say to jump in and try with her
You probably shouldn’t listen to me lol

[NudistFun]

OK, so many of you know me and that I am 100% straight. I've been with the same guy since I was 15 and a half years old and we are in a loving, monogamous relationship. I hope to be his wife and the mother of his children some day and we're even getting engaged next year.

I have many girl friends and my BFF and I have been close since middle school but, there's a girl I met recently and I think about her a lot. Sometimes I'm even thinking about her when I go to bed at night, I don't understand it. I'm attracted to her but not just physically. I love her spunky attitude, her free spirit, her intelligence, etc. I think I have a girl crush on her and it makes me feel so conflicted. What makes it worse is that she is a few years younger than I am so that makes me feel bad that I'm attracted to her. She is MUCH more experienced with sex than I am and has a wonderful and healthy attitude about sex that I envy.

I don't want to labor on about this so I guess I'm just asking for advice and if any of you have ever been in the same situation. She has no idea I feel this way about her and she is straight too and with a boyfriend.

You said you don't think of her sexually so it sounds like you just admire her quite a bit.. unless you aren't being honest with yourself and ARE attracted to her sexually.

[Jordan99]

You said you don't think of her sexually so it sounds like you just admire her quite a bit.. unless you aren't being honest with yourself and ARE attracted to her sexually.

Hi Laura,

I never should have made that post. I think I just had a momentary lapse of reason because I am completely over it now. I think I just got a little carried away because she was/is so carefree and I got caught up in it all. She's very attractive and maybe I was just a little infatuated for a few days. Like I said though, I am totally over it now and just consider her a friend. Doug is in town and I realize what a fantastic thing I have with him and I'd never risk losing that.

[Uniquemind]

Hi Laura,

I never should have made that post. I think I just had a momentary lapse of reason because I am completely over it now. I think I just got a little carried away because she was/is so carefree and I got caught up in it all. She's very attractive and maybe I was just a little infatuated for a few days. Like I said though, I am totally over it now and just consider her a friend. Doug is in town and I realize what a fantastic thing I have with him and I'd never risk losing that.

You think you made the fundamental attribution error and because you recognize that now your at peace? Did my post help?