How do I determine what league I’m in?

[NotQuiteANerd97]

If you’ve seen my previous posts on here you’ll know I’m deficient when it comes to dating. I never make it past a few dates with girls and I have an occasional FWB thing with a male friend. I’ve been on Tinder and I rarely get matches so it stands to reason that my looks are the main obstacle. I either try to get with people (usually girls) too attractive who ignore my texts or put off meeting up or I end up meeting with ones who I can’t find physical attraction too. It seems like I can’t find a middle ground who’s realistic for me. Keep in mind I have glasses, mild acne, and I’m a bit of a weirdo compared to most guys. I intentionally avoid trends fashion wise.

Every time I see a girl in public of any potential attraction I stop myself because they either don’t seem available or way out of my league. I just feel like the opportunities aren’t there. Wherever I hang out they’re never alone, always with boyfriends or friends. I just feel like I have no place in the romantic sphere and being alone forever is a definite possibility. I suppose the only way out is to figure out what kind of girls (or guys, but I’m picky with them) would realistically accept me. I just don’t see them. I don’t see any girls who I think would take to me. The ones I’m into can choose from a vast array of guys superior to me and the ones I’m not into are well, not appealing to me. So in short I may as well ask, how do I determine what girls would like me? Other than interests and stuff. I’m talking physically. I’m getting frustrated and the loneliness is getting worse. Yes, I have “found myself”. I have a unique identity and I’m cool with myself. I’m just at a loss here. My hobbies and interests haven’t taken me far so I doubt they’ll lead me to any girls. I just kinda have to do what I have to do.

Sorry if I’m rambling, I’m really not sure how to put it. I just want a teensy but of advice. No one else has offered any to me.

[NotQuiteANerd97]

***I just finished writing this. Its long and you probably won't like much of it or may be any of it. Sorry.***

I don't have a magic solution for you, only a question and observation.

You say "they aren't alone" why does that matter?

What excuse would you come up with if they were alone? Eating a burger and your vegan? Smoking and your not a smoker? You know what I'm talking about you can always think of an excuse.

The observation is a stereotype and of course no one fits them perfectly but they exist for a reason. Your frustrated because this is difficult. Your a nice guy and girls always say they want a nice guy so whats the problem. Ah, the problem. You said it yourself your picky but you can't afford to be. Those girls you can get that your not attracted to? Thats you the other way around. But it doesn't have as much to do with your looks as you think. Yea they matter and everything you can do to improve will help you but these are little helps you really only need one big one.

When you figure out why they need to be alone for you to approach them you'll know what needs fixed.

A guy that will walk up to a group of 3 or more girls and start talking has 100% more chance than you. Think about it. I'm terrible at math and I understand this. If theres 2 guys and three girls you should still be able to roll up and try. Even if its a even number you should try, what if they are siblings or just not coupled up? You'll never know will you?

You know how if your afraid of a bug some helpful dumbass will say its more afraid of you than you are of it? Yea thats girls. We're more afraid of you than you are of us. We don't want to invest in the wrong guy. I'm at the bottom of the social food chain at school and I still reject 80% of guys that approach me. I can afford to, I have lots of guys that would love a chance to get me in bed I can have that easy. I want more than that. And I'm very shy about investing in any guy unless I know he might actually be interested in me. And at that level I'm no catch. Just like those girls you say you can't get attracted to, I'm sure you wouldn't mind taking a spin on the HaileyFunRide, but if you got to know me you'd be bored becos I'm not really very interesting.

Back to the group thing. If I were sitting with a few friends (yea, as if...) and a guy walked up and introduced himself I would be intrigued. Why? Becos its fucking scary and hes doing it anyway. Hes already off to a better start than the 80% I will reject.

And if I was out on a double or triple date (this is becoming quite the work of fiction!) and a guy walked up... I'd probably swoon. Why wouldn't you? Afraid my boyfriend is going to kick your ass? Honestly, the kind of guy I would be with probably would, but knowing your ready to take a beating for a chance to meet me? OMFG... the stuff of dreams. Theres a whole romcom script in there some where and you would have the lead role.

But thats not you, right? To hard, it should be easy. And thats why you get stuck with girls that you aren't attracted to... there easy to get.

Okay, I lied I will give you advice. I heard this once and it made since to me. Think of a character in a movie or whatever that you think is a cool guy. Teach your self to think like him. It can be Ferris Bueller or Tyler Durden or whoever (sorry I saw both of those movies recently) and ask yourself, what would he do? For me Ferris would beca stretch just not my type but I get wet thinking about Tyler Durden and it has nothing to do with Brad Pitt. That is the reaction you want to get. This approach is guaranteed to work 100% better than the way you do it now or double your money back. Becos free advise is worth exactly what you paid for it.

Now go get em tiger!


So you’re telling me the average girl is okay with being approached by a guy who’s 5’9”, has pockmarks, glasses, and an average build? The only mental response I can imagine them having is “oh god, not another one. Well, gotta roll with it I guess”. They’ll smell desperation a mile away.

Now that I think about it I have approached them in groups in the past. Mainly at my dorm’s pool. Again, no luck besides a few texts that ultimately stop.

[NotQuiteANerd97]

Romantic stuff. See here’s the thing, I have an image. I’m really comfortable with myself physically and I’d date myself but clearly finding the right audience isn’t easy. At this point it’s more about finding the right crowd and somehow even at a giant ass university it’s been a pain. I guess it’s a matter of waiting and finding ways to distract myself from the noise in my head.

I don’t think it’s easy for everyone but I feel like I’m handicapped, and I “landed them” online after being tricked by photos and such.

[NotQuiteANerd97]

I actually had a hunch about it being just that, a numbers game. Thanks dude