GF ready for more

[coolmatt]

Me and my gf are 13. We have been together for almost 3 months and we kiss but I think she wants to do more. When we kiss she has been putting her hand close to and sometimes on my penis over my jeans. She makes alot of jokes about it to and has a friend who has done alot more then her and I think my gf is trying to catch up. I want to do more but I'm kind of embarassed because I dont have much hair down there yet and I dont cum yet. I don't want her to think I'm still a kid but I also dont want her to think I don't want her. Not sure what to do.

[ska8er]

I don't think u r ready for "more" yet
let alone her-stay with the kissing.

[centreoftheuniverse]

if your only worry is that you haven't enough hair - trust me, that's not an issue. if anything, it makes everything a whole lot better.
but you also need to be sure you're comfortable with taking things further - you said that you don't want her to think you don't want her. do you? if you do, great - let her know. if she moves her hand where you said again, respond by doing the same to her, unbuttoning your trousers, etc. but if you feel like you're not ready to take things further, let her know. and if she just wants sex because her friends have done it, i would tell her in no uncertain terms that sex is not something to contribute to her social status.

[Jake445]

It doesn't sound like you are totally ready for sex yet but you could take steps to get more comfortable around each other. You could start to shower together, sleep naked and cuddle together, if you ever get the chance to do that, so you won't mind her seeing you naked when you both decide to really have sex.

[Second Chance]

Me and my gf are 13. We have been together for almost 3 months and we kiss but I think she wants to do more. When we kiss she has been putting her hand close to and sometimes on my penis over my jeans. She makes alot of jokes about it to and has a friend who has done alot more then her and I think my gf is trying to catch up.

It is normal for boyfriends/girlfriends to put their hands over each other's privates, and the reality is that you both turn each other on.

The fact of the matter is that you are not a guinea pig or someone who should be used as a way to catch up with others. If her friend is more advanced than her, then good for her. You both need to take things at your own pace. Do not focus on what others are doing because you need to only look at yourself and your girlfriend. Relationships are not a race, and you will never be able to keep up with others.

As for sexual activity, I would say that you're ready if you can do the following:

1. Pay for your own condoms.
2. That your girlfriend can afford birth control or that you can afford to help her out with costs.
3. If after sex things go wrong that she can get Plan B.
4. That both of you can go to your respective doctors if something happens during sex because funny things can happen with the plumbing down there for both boys and girls.
5. That both of your families are all right with you both being sexually active.
6. That both of you understand that sex is more than physical sensations but rather emotional attachment and responsibilities.


I want to do more but I'm kind of embarassed because I dont have much hair down there yet and I dont cum yet. I don't want her to think I'm still a kid but I also dont want her to think I don't want her. Not sure what to do.

Hair and cumming are not a big deal. Most guys your age do not have much hair down there anyway, and a lot of junior high school guys cannot cum.

As for your girlfriend, you both just need to be yourselves and enjoy each others' companies. As long as you both really like each other as people and have personalities that match, then everything else really does not matter. If she were to make a big deal about your lack of hair and cum, then that is clear evidence that she is not for you. Short of your girlfriend being God I am sure she is not perfect physically, and I am sure you can overlook that. Likewise, I would hope your girlfriend would do the same for you.


Just be careful about getting sexual even blowjobs, and take things slowly.

[BlackParadePixie]

I wouldn't rush it. Trying to "catch up" to one of her friends because she's more experienced is not a good reason to jump into more sexual things.

[coolmatt]

I dont know if i am ready for sex or not. I definately wanna do it but i dont know if right now is a good time to try it. I love my gf and I definately want her to be my first time but it makes me really nervous. I dont know how to tell her that though cause she already talks about hating her body and im scared she will think thats why I dont want sex

[Second Chance]

I dont know if i am ready for sex or not. I definately wanna do it but i dont know if right now is a good time to try it. I love my gf and I definately want her to be my first time but it makes me really nervous. I dont know how to tell her that though cause she already talks about hating her body and im scared she will think thats why I dont want sex

Any guy with a pulse is going to want to have sex, and you are hardly alone in that category. However, since your girlfriend has body issues you need to take things really slowly and let her focus on getting well mentally. If you have sex now, then that might really screw her up and add something to the mental health mix that would not be pleasant. At this stage focus on showing the positive sides of her, and you can always do non-sexual stuff with her. If you even bring up sex, then she might feel pressured. If she brings up sex and she has body image issues, then I would not do it until she is comfortable in her own skin. All because a couple does not have sex right away does not mean that they are not into each other, and since you both are in junior high you might want to wait until you both are slightly older. After all, your girlfriend might be new to periods with those things being irregular for her, and you are still developing on your end.

[mick01]

I dont know if i am ready for sex or not. I definately wanna do it but i dont know if right now is a good time to try it. I love my gf and I definately want her to be my first time but it makes me really nervous. I dont know how to tell her that though cause she already talks about hating her body and im scared she will think thats why I dont want sex

Matt, I think if you were ready for sex you wouldn't have posted. I can feel so much of your doubt in what you say. Is it possible and comfortable enough for you to tell her that you are really into her and want to experience a lot with her but that you're just not ready to go further than you already have? If she's really into you and the relationship, she'll be fine with waiting.

[coolmatt]

Any guy with a pulse is going to want to have sex, and you are hardly alone in that category. However, since your girlfriend has body issues you need to take things really slowly and let her focus on getting well mentally. If you have sex now, then that might really screw her up and add something to the mental health mix that would not be pleasant. At this stage focus on showing the positive sides of her, and you can always do non-sexual stuff with her. If you even bring up sex, then she might feel pressured. If she brings up sex and she has body image issues, then I would not do it until she is comfortable in her own skin. All because a couple does not have sex right away does not mean that they are not into each other, and since you both are in junior high you might want to wait until you both are slightly older. After all, your girlfriend might be new to periods with those things being irregular for her, and you are still developing on your end.

Im really worried about messing everything up anyway. I could mess her up, mess us up, mess both our lives up if she got pregnant all for 30 seconds of fun. I heard the first time isnt even fun just awkward and weird

[Maddie2000]

Let things happen naturally. Don’t rush it. If she decides to take take things further and you are also ready then go for it. Communication is key so don’t be afraid to talk to her about it , you both might be thinking the exact same thing and not know it

[Second Chance]

Im really worried about messing everything up anyway. I could mess her up, mess us up, mess both our lives up if she got pregnant all for 30 seconds of fun. I heard the first time isnt even fun just awkward and weird

I would not overthink the situation, and do not worry about messing her up. Just be yourselves, and be supportive towards each other and be open about your fears, doubts, and hopes. If you both are working on the same page, then you will not have problems.

I would hold off on sex and sex acts and just do other things that boyfriends/girlfriends do. All because you are a couple does not mean you have to get sexual by any stretch of the imagination. You can hang out and have fun and do plenty of things.

More than anything, I think your girlfriend has to get mentally healthy especially since she has body image issues. Talking with her family and friends to see how you all can help her is the best way to go.

If you have a Sister, then it would not be a bad idea to get her perspective on your girlfriend and how you can have fun with her without having to get sexual.

It is totally up to you, but I would hold off on sex and sex acts until you are older to handle the financial side of it (paying for condoms, birth control, etc.) and your girlfriend is emotionally healthy. Never have sex with anyone who is emotionally unstable or has emotional issues because nothing good can come of that. Try not to get naked with your girlfriend, and never send nudes to anyone because that can turn around and turn ugly fast.

You can continue what you are doing with your girlfriend, and I would not really go past that until you are older than you are now. When you get sexual urges, then masturbation is your friend!

I totally agree with the person above that communication is the key, and there could be a good chance that your girlfriend might be thinking the same thing as you. Be open with her about your feelings because if she really likes you, then she will respect what you think.

[coolmatt]

Thanks for the help. Guess i have alot to think about and talk to her about

[Second Chance]

Thanks for the help. Guess i have alot to think about and talk to her about

My final word is that the best thing for both you and your girlfriend to do is to focus on school and improve your minds. You have the rest of your life to get laid and to do sexual things, but now is the time in life when you have to get an education. Once you get an education, then you can get a good job and then do what you want to do. Sex is obviously fun, but when you are not ready for it either financially or emotionally, then it is never a good idea.

[mick01]

Thanks for the help. Guess i have alot to think about and talk to her about

Wait, is this the girl where in an earlier post in September you were going to ask her to be your girlfriend? Dude, if that is the case, you've not been bf/gf for even 6 weeks yet. Which if its the case, you shouldn't even be talking about sex yet. Way too soon.

[InternetTeen]

If you don't feel ready don't do it.

[Caro2004]

I'm afraid I agree with those who say if you don't know if you're ready, then you're definitely not ready! I knew, without a shadow of a doubt, when it was the right time for me. It wasn't anyone else's decision nor was I pushed or encouraged. If you're unsure, then my advice is don't do it.