My little cousin just turned 12, is that too young for her to..

[Anomaly6]

Start thinking about masturbation and sex?? She seems to be dropping little hints like she wants to talk about this stuff but I keep avoiding it.. Would it be appropriate for me to talk to her about it as a 16 year old guy? Or should I have her go talk to her mom about it? I'm kind of freaked out cuz I dont want my family thinking I'm a creep or something.. What do you think I should do??

[BlackParadePixie]

Yeah I would definitely have her go ask her mom about those things.

[Katie2003]

It would be best for her to talk to her mom or another female relative. While many families are open to such discussions among cousins, the creep factor has to be considered as well if you are opposite gender.

[Anomaly6]

Yeah, the last couple of times she brought something up, I would change the subject or suddenly have to leave.. Dont wanna embarrass myself in front of entire family! It does make thinks awkward for me since I have seen her grow up so I cant help but think about it myself sometimes..

Thanks for your advice, I think I'll stay away from her as much as I can even though I do really enjoy her company.. Tough situation all around since were only human and naturally think about these things!

[ChloeF]

It would be best for her to talk to her mom or another female relative. While many families are open to such discussions among cousins, the creep factor has to be considered as well if you are opposite gender.

This, no matter how good your intentions are there's bound to be someone who'll see it in the worst possible way.

[SarahSweetie]

If you were two sisters then id say go 4 it and teach her everything u know but being of the opposite gender it will mkae it awkward

[Pultost]

It's totally normal to get curious about masturbation and sex at that age, but like everybody else says, it would be best for her to talk to her mom or another female adult she trusts about it.

[sweetiekate]

I don’t think it’s too young to think about it...maybe too young to actually do some of it. Masturbation doesn’t hurt anyone so I thguess no that’s fine, but other stuff might be a bit early -depends on the person and situation. Everyone’s different.

[Ashley2004]

Yes it would be creepy for an older guy to talk to her about it

[Sailor Mars]

Puberty for girls :arrow: Puberty for all

[Falcons_11]

My advice to you would be to stay out of telling her about sex. If you are a guy, you will be just asking for trouble. Most people will misunderstand your intentions. Have her speak to her mom or another female adult relative. The last thing you need is to be called a creep or perv.

[Jordan99]

It would be highly inappropriate for you to discuss these things with her. If she brings it up again, tell her she needs to have these discussions with her mother or a girlfriend.

[jamie_n5]

If you were both girls then I see no problem. The other thing that you might do unless you are uncomfortable with it would be to talk to your aunt and tell her that your cousin is curious and asking and hinting questions about puberty. You could tell her that you would be fine with answering her questions and talking to her about puberty but felt it inappropriate to do without talking to her (your aunt) first.

[xSashax]

I think some adults aren’t very open to those questions so she might feel more comfortable talking to you. She may not be happy if you just tell her mom. I’d say maybe be straightforward with her and tell her that it’s usually something she’d talk to her mom or sister/female relative. If she doesn’t wanna do that just let her know you have good intentions and it’s uncommon for you to help her out. Then see how it goes and what she thinks.

[ImJulia]

You can talk to her

[Hermes]

Obviously you have to be very careful that asking questions doesn't turn into something else but I am not sure there is really a a too young to ask questions and get answers. At 12 she should be given proper answers, not fobbed off.

Of course, it is not your duty to answer her if you feel uncomfortable but if you do refer her to someone else make sure you don't make her feel guilty for asking.

[Merk]

I don't have a younger sister, so i haven't been in that exact situation. But I can say as a boy with an older sister and never taking about it with anyone in my family, it would have been good for me to have someone to talk to. I just wow wrote that poorly...

My point is, I wish I had someone to talk about this stuff with when I was younger. I suggest referring her to your Mom and maybe the school nurse etc. But let her know that you are there too if she wants to talk, I think that would be good..

Tell her she should talk to Mom, but make sure she knows you are there too, that is if you're comfortable with it.

[Anomaly6]

Thanks for everyones help, I'm gonna take all your advice into account and see how things go.. She really is gorgeous tho, I just dont want her taken advantage of because I know how guys can be! I just want to protect her, I'll keep everyone updated. Thank you again!

[ChrisA1998]

Start thinking about masturbation and sex?? She seems to be dropping little hints like she wants to talk about this stuff but I keep avoiding it.. Would it be appropriate for me to talk to her about it as a 16 year old guy? Or should I have her go talk to her mom about it? I'm kind of freaked out cuz I dont want my family thinking I'm a creep or something.. What do you think I should do??

At 12 there are probably things she isn't ready for and she doesn't really know about, so I think you shouldn't start talking to her about those things, but rather tell her that if she has questions or if she needs to talk to someone you are here.
also take in consideration that you're a boy and she is a girl, so girls see things differently, sometimes boys are real straight to the point while girls need to have things be told more delicately lol

but definitely, if she needs to have someone to talk about it, that would rather be her mother or bigger sister or close friend or cousin ;)

[LITTLEANGEL19]

There is lots of other things you could teach her about keeping herself safe when outside and online.
But you should leave all the sexual stuff to her "MUM" or other "FEMALE" Family member.

[Uniquemind]

I agree with what many others have said.

Also when she’s old enough you can show her how to research topics on her own safely with the Internet.

This might be your only option to walk that line between being helpful but also safeguarding yourself from inappropriate situations.

I would stick to medical resources too like mayoclinic, and steer clear of porn.


Hopefully the adults in your family aren’t too prudish? That’s been a barrier of knowledge and growth for some of my friends, and I’ve kinda filled that role as educator-friend.

[cheekygirl11]

Yeah I would tell her to ask her parents

[Connordude]

You can totally talk to her if the two of you are close and comfortable about it
Would you rather she asked some other guy?
You aren’t doing stuff with her just talking - answering what she wants to know
You’re a safe source, if she can’t trust you who can she

Tell her about this site maybe?

[Natacha]

She wants to talk to you about it. As an older cousin you should talk to her about it and help her feel okay with it, if she wants help from you

[Oliviaaa]

Some parents are narrow minded and over protective about sexual stuff, and in some parts of world even school does not have sex ed... Just answer her questions.

[Maxbreak]

Just be as helpful as you can. I hit puberty at 10 and was totally confused. As a boy to girl though, you may have to refer some girl stuff to her mum.

[Zachary G]

yeah, id definitely refer her to a female family member or another trusted female she could pose all of her questions to. Shes at just about the age of curiosity, so its normal. Good luck.

[Caitigrrl]

I think if you two are close enough it’s okay to ask
She’s old enough that she is probably self loving daily
Sexis a maybe, I was 12 for some kinds of it

[Jesi234]

I think it would be just fine to tell her mother and leave them to deal with it between themselves.

[Brigje]

I think if you two are close enough it’s okay to ask
She’s old enough that she is probably self loving daily
Sex is a maybe, I was 12 for some kinds of it

Indeed, ask her where it is about and take it from there.
Maybe she has reasons for not asking her mom and feels close enough to you to ask you and talk about things she doesn't want to talk about with others.

[tessa-]

It’s normal - my brother answered every question he could

[Gabrielle1]

It’s normal - my brother answered every question he could

That’s a good brother. I’m glad to hear that

[tessa-]

That’s a good brother. I’m glad to hear that

He’s the best

[Madison78]

She came to you, probably because she looks up to you and trusts you, I'd say hear her out, see what she has to say and take it from there. if you are comfortable answering her questions, then do so, but if not, tell her that she should direct to her parents. i know with my younger siblings and cousins they come to me with questions they feel more comfortable with someone closer in age.

[ShezzaD05]

My sister told me most of the stuff i know when i was about 11 or 12. Mum has told me very little only giving me a good long talk about periods. Most stuff i found out on the internet and from friends at school or my sis.

[tessa-]

You can ask if she wants to know anything, just don’t push