please help me! i need advice on the boy i like!!

[charjones]

Hello everyone. I'm new here :) THIS WILL PROBABLY BE LONG BUT PLEASE PLEASE READ IT I REALLY NEED HELP!!
So I'll get right to it... I like this guy, let's just call him C. Other people in this 'story' will be my 2nd best friend, V, and my former enemy turned friend, J. J and V are best friends with C, and V used to bring him with him to my art class before it started, and I used to be there and I remember thinking how good looking I thought he was... HOT DAMN! Anyways, that was last year, and this year, on our school retreat, I was in C (and V)'s group, so I got to know him and talk to him for pretty much the first time. At school, our groups hang out in different areas, never cross paths, and aren't supposed to interact. Their group is known as 'Comic-con' because they are all nerds, and my group is semi-popular. To date him would be to commit social suicide, but I don't really care about popularity anyways, so I'm not worried about that. I added him on Snapchat a couple of weeks ago and we've been snapping every day. It's not all the time though, neither of us really use snap so it's maybe 2 snaps a day from each of us. Anyways, I told this other friend of mine, who we will call D, that I liked C, because I felt bad that I'd told everyone else in my group but her. This is where J comes into the 'story', D freaking goes to school the next day and tells her every single thing I said, also, I thought I should mention that they aren't even friends, J is just like the matchmaker for that group. I confronted D the next day, (I never really liked her, just saying), and now I'm super mad at her because I feel super uncomfortable with J knowing, especially considering our history and the constant competition in art between me and her. I've been talking to her a lot the past couple of days about C, and she keeps asking me if I want him to take me to the Fall Ball (a dance at our school), and the thing is, I DON'T KNOW!!! I used to go to an only girls school, this is only my 2nd year in a co-ed environment, and I'm not that great at talking to boys, even though 2 of my best friends are boys... I'm super socially awkward and really quiet, but I have a really big personality once someone gets to know me. The thing is with me though, that when I really like a guy, I get scared off if/when they like me back. I think it's because I'm afraid that once they know I like them/ if we both like each other, then there will be pressure for something to happen, and confrontation in real life (as opposed to snapchat etc.). I am 15, and I have never had a boyfriend or a first kiss. Part of me really wants to get V or J-actually probably V- to tell C that I like him, because otherwise he'd never know, but the rest of me is terrified that he will try to come up to me and talk if that happened. I do really like him, but I have serious problems in social situations. He is so hot, tall, sweet and smart, and I wish I could just skip the awkward part and date him, but that's obviously not possible. If you made it to the end, thank you so much, I really don't know what to do, any advice would make my day! thank you :)

[Katie2003]

Don't overthink it. Just go for it. You are 15 like me, and it's pretty common for friends to fix up friends with other people for a date, but maybe you don't need it to happen like that. Sometimes we spend too much time thinking about the what if's then find out they were never going to happen. Since you already know the boy and know that you like him and have talked to him on multiple occasions over the past year or more, it's not like you are strangers. You could be bold and just ask the boy yourself if he's planning on attending this dance and see what his response is. If he says he's thinking about it, then you reply with you are too and ask if he has anyone in mind to go with. At that point he'll either ask you to go with him, or open up the opportunity for you to ask him if he's kinda shy about asking you.

It's perfectly OK for girls to invite boys on dates.......and going on a date is just getting together for some social activity, it doesn't make him your boyfriend unless you have that discussion later on.

I suggest that if you really feel awkward it would be best if you could have your friend arrange a double date so there are other people there for you to talk to besides this boy that you will be with. That should take much of the stress off you.

My mom the psychologist always tells me that later in life we will regret the things we didn't do far more than we will regret any mistakes we made along the way. I think you owe this one to yourself. :)

[charjones]

Thank you so much Katie. This is the most helpful reply I’ve received on my forum on all of the sites I signed up to. This is a great plan, I think I’ll actually go through with it. I will definitely let you know how it goes. You’re the best!!

[centreoftheuniverse]

girl, i was in the same position as you. although i managed to get over my awkwardness and shyness - my secret is to "fake it till you make it" - no matter how nervous you are, just talk to him. eventually, after you fake it several times, the confidence will start to be real.

in regards to the telling-him situation, i say just go for it. i recently told a boy i liked that he had beautiful eyes, only to find out he has a girlfriend, and so i had to just tell him to ignore what i said. he was fine with that, and we get on great again - that's proof that even if it ends badly, it'll still be alright. and besides, at least he seems to like you, so you won't have my problem!

quick quote for this: we only regret the chances we didn't take, not the ones we took.