I went out with a friend's boyfriend behind her back (but she got me back good)

[RandomUSAGirl]

Several months back, I went out with a friend's boyfriend behind her back. I know I shouldn't have. He told me he was planning on breaking up with her. Can't believe I fell for that.

When she found out, she and two of her friends cornered me in a bathroom at school and she attacked me. I fought back in self-defense and she got the worst of it. I broke her nose, but I SWEAR I didn't mean to! I'd never been in a fight before and was just swinging wildly. I wasn't aiming for anything in particular. The three of them told the administration that I started the fight. The principal called the cops and I was arrested.

I was found guilty in court. They all stuck to their story, saying I started it. Today I received my sentence. I've never been in trouble with the law at all, but the judge still sentenced me to serve time in juvie! For 90 days.

Since I have a job, he gave me until the end of the week to "put my affairs in order." On Friday evening, I have to report the the county juvenile detention center to begin serving my sentence.

Look, I own the fact that I wouldn't be in this situation to begin with if I hadn't been such a sh*tty friend. I should never have gone out with her boyfriend. And I feel bad about breaking her nose. Yeah, she swung first, but only because of what I'd done, so it's understandable.

I'm thinking of writing her a letter from juvie, once I find the right words, to apologize for my role in all this. Part of me feels like this is nuts, part of me feels like I should even though our friendship is probably beyond repair now. I dunno...what do you all think I should do? The only thing I know for certain is that I want to be a better person.

In the meantime, I'm gonna sit here and try not to freak out about the fact that I'm gonna be locked up for 3 months. I can't believe I got myself into this mess!

[BlackParadePixie]

I think the letter is a good idea. True, it's probably not going to repair the damage done to your friendship...but it's a good way to reflect on what has happened and own up to some responsibility.

[ska8er]

Write the letter and say ur sorry. Don't
go into detail and leave it at that.

[Second Chance]

Several months back, I went out with a friend's boyfriend behind her back. I know I shouldn't have. He told me he was planning on breaking up with her. Can't believe I fell for that.

When she found out, she and two of her friends cornered me in a bathroom at school and she attacked me. I fought back in self-defense and she got the worst of it. I broke her nose, but I SWEAR I didn't mean to! I'd never been in a fight before and was just swinging wildly. I wasn't aiming for anything in particular. The three of them told the administration that I started the fight. The principal called the cops and I was arrested.

I was found guilty in court. They all stuck to their story, saying I started it. Today I received my sentence. I've never been in trouble with the law at all, but the judge still sentenced me to serve time in juvie! For 90 days.

Since I have a job, he gave me until the end of the week to "put my affairs in order." On Friday evening, I have to report the the county juvenile detention center to begin serving my sentence.

Look, I own the fact that I wouldn't be in this situation to begin with if I hadn't been such a sh*tty friend. I should never have gone out with her boyfriend. And I feel bad about breaking her nose. Yeah, she swung first, but only because of what I'd done, so it's understandable.

I'm thinking of writing her a letter from juvie, once I find the right words, to apologize for my role in all this. Part of me feels like this is nuts, part of me feels like I should even though our friendship is probably beyond repair now. I dunno...what do you all think I should do? The only thing I know for certain is that I want to be a better person.

In the meantime, I'm gonna sit here and try not to freak out about the fact that I'm gonna be locked up for 3 months. I can't believe I got myself into this mess!

I think writing your friend a letter apologizing for the boyfriend issue would be a nice gesture, and offering regret for the physical altercation would be fine.

With all of that being said, I think your friend is not totally clean in this whole incident assuming all the facts you have mentioned are correct. I can understand why she would get angry, and you were wrong for going out with her boyfriend which you clearly understand. In the future never get involved in love triangles because those things are always messy. However, your friend should never have ganged up on you in the washroom with her friends, and she was not honest after the whole thing was over resulting in you being put in juvenile. If she had been honest, then everyone would have realized this was a typical boy fight and probably could have handled things with detention rather than you ending up in jail, more or less, and you losing a job over this.

I would use this as a learning experience, and I would do the following:

1. Never knowingly go out with someone who is in a relationship even if they are breaking up. If they have broken up, then make sure there is a period of time between the old relationship and new one.

2. I would not hang out with this friend anymore and would find a different social circle. While she had a right to be angry she also should not have lied about being attacked.

3. Focus on building yourself up while you are at juvenile and see if you can pick up a skill or something academic so that when you get out you can find something productive to do.

4. Stay focused on school and build up your mind because many times people can be trouble unless you have the brains to defend yourself.