Afraid of letting my parents down. Don't know what to do

[wallflower101]

All I wanted to do is make my parents proud and make them happy. I didn't want to wake up everyday thinking I let them down. So I did what I had to do and put my thoughts and feelings aside. A few months ago, I decide on which school I wanted to go to, a private school with the best education or trade school where I could learn a trade in something I wanted to do. I've realized now that I should've stood up to my parents and chosen what I wanted to do. I'm too scared to tell my parents that I want to transfer, because of the money they put into the school and the effort to get me in. I wake up everyday regretting my decision and being mad at myself. I wish I could go back and changed what I should've changed. I feel trapped with my thoughts & emotions and don't know what to do :/

[Katie2003]

We all want to make our parents proud of us, and keep everyone happy. Since it's your life and future in the balance here, I think you should have a serious talk with them and simply say this is not working out like I had thought it would, and after reviewing the options, I now want to attend a trade school since being in that sort of work is what I really want to do.

It would be much less expensive to change now than to continue where you are, and not get the career training that you want most. I think if you approach them properly they might be a little upset at first, but kind and concerned parents who love their child unconditionally should quickly realize that this is a decision you are not taking lightly.

If you think there's any chance that you could ever repay your parents for some of the expense they have already taken care of, you could sincerely offer to do that as part of the deal for allowing you to change schools, saying that once you are established in the trade you have chosen, you'll see to it that they get monthly payments toward that debt.

[Jake445]

It sounds like your regrets and worrying are making you sick and I'm sure your parents would much rather want you to be happy and enthusiastic about school! So I say you should talk to them and explain the situation, your decisions and reason, and how things have changed. I'm sure they will understand!

[ska8er]

I think u should sit down with them
and tell them how u feel otherwise
u r not going to b happy. Why do u
want to change schools? R ur grades
good enough to go to a private school
or do u feel u would do better working
toward a trade? Whatever u decide to
do-do ur best and im sure u wont let ur
parents down.

[Second Chance]

All I wanted to do is make my parents proud and make them happy. I didn't want to wake up everyday thinking I let them down. So I did what I had to do and put my thoughts and feelings aside. A few months ago, I decide on which school I wanted to go to, a private school with the best education or trade school where I could learn a trade in something I wanted to do. I've realized now that I should've stood up to my parents and chosen what I wanted to do. I'm too scared to tell my parents that I want to transfer, because of the money they put into the school and the effort to get me in. I wake up everyday regretting my decision and being mad at myself. I wish I could go back and changed what I should've changed. I feel trapped with my thoughts & emotions and don't know what to do :/

We all make mistakes, and many times we listen to our parents because we think they know best. However, assuming you are 18+ you are old enough what works for you, and many times what works for you might not be agreeable to your parents. That is the fact of life because I am positive your parents have made choices that their own parents did not like.

I agree with the others that now is the best time to make the change from one school to another before you go too far along, get into too much debt, and are stuck in one program. I cannot promise you that your parents will be happy, but it is far better to be honest with them than to have a meltdown and be in a bad position emotionally. In the end of the day the parents have to chose between your happiness or forcing you to do something you do not want to do. My hope is that your parents are rational people and will chose your happiness.

My final word is come up with a concrete plan on how you plan to transfer to the new school. You need to visit the other place and find out what you have done can be transferred to where you want to go. You should also figure out exactly what career you want to enter, how long it will take for you to finish up the required coursework, and the job prospects that you will have. If you have all of your data and present it to your parents, then at least they will know that you are serious and have a plan.