Is it "wrong" that I lack empathy?

[jombo]

If I don't know someone there's a big chance I won't care for them at all. For instance, a family member that I haven't spoken to in four years might be seriously ill and I don't care at all. I can care a lot, and I do care for some people an incredible amount but why is it wrong that I don't care for everyone? I've had bad experiences with people and I have depression so I know why I'm like it but is it something to change or just live with how I am? I don't feel bad about it but people around me do.

What do I do?

[Croconaw]

It doesn't make you a bad person if you don't feel bad. You don't have to change because there isn't anything wrong with it.

[Karkat]

People feel empathy differently- in fact what you're describing is in fact not empathy to begin with- it's sympathy. Close, but no banana.

Empathy would kind of be like putting yourself in the ill family member's place mentally.

Anyways, as you've mentioned (in different words) you do NOT lack compassion- and that's honestly the one that matters. Everyone treats different situations differently, I don't think it's a big deal.

[Tarannosaurus]

If I don't know someone there's a big chance I won't care for them at all. For instance, a family member that I haven't spoken to in four years might be seriously ill and I don't care at all. I can care a lot, and I do care for some people an incredible amount but why is it wrong that I don't care for everyone? I've had bad experiences with people and I have depression so I know why I'm like it but is it something to change or just live with how I am? I don't feel bad about it but people around me do.

What do I do?

Actually this sounds like me, my aunt is going to die in a month from terminal cancer and I don't feel anything. According to a psychiatrist I'm seeing it's a coping mechanism to disconnect yourself from the situation. It is common with depression, but as you learn to cope differently your mind will deem it 'safe' for you to allow yourself to feel emotions and feel connected to things around you. Hope this helps :)

[Karkat]

Actually this sounds like me, my aunt is going to die in a month from terminal cancer and I don't feel anything. According to a psychiatrist I'm seeing it's a coping mechanism to disconnect yourself from the situation. It is common with depression, but as you learn to cope differently your mind will deem it 'safe' for you to allow yourself to feel emotions and feel connected to things around you. Hope this helps :)

Agree with this as well. My great-uncle who I'd known all of my life died when I was like 15? Point being that I didn't cry or anything. I just wasn't fazed. I am sad about it, but I didn't actively feel sad about it when it happened.

He was close to me, but not close enough to cause me to break down entirely, like say, if my mom died.