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View Full Version : I dont know where to turn


Whovian_Scar
March 16th, 2014, 05:31 PM
I used to be so fat, fat, really fat, believe it or not, i used to hate myself for it, id cry all the time because i kept telling myself that id never lose weight, that id always be the hefty Hopkins. Honest to god thats why i cut now, every time i think about how i used to be i cry so hard and cut so deep. I remember once where id say "hey im gonna go on a diet" id do good for a day or two, then find myself stuffing fries or sneaking fat foods into my room and hiding because i didnt want my family to see me like that. I was so fat. I cry every single time i think about it! The worst part is that its the past and it wont go away, it just keeps haunting me, the little kid who keeps asking for thirds or fifths. The only kid who wore a tee when swimming. The kid who weighed 215 lbs at age 9. Now im 13, 6'0, and 120 lbs. I cut myself for pleasure, nothing else makes me feel the same.:yawn: im also bi-sexual...

Karkat
March 16th, 2014, 07:23 PM
(Ok, getting my sidepoint out of the way first: That's so weird to hear because my name is going to be Hopkins in about two years...)

Have you ever looked into therapy? Your struggles with weight seem (ED-NOS related, almost) triggering, and you might be able to get over the root of your problems with counseling or therapy. I'm personally a binge eater, and while I've never been overweight in my life (I've been normal weight a scant amount of times, but it causes me a serious amount of body dysphoria and problems as well.) it does seriously affect me. However I have quite a few bridges to cross before I can get there...

However, if you could find someone who could help you deal with the pain you experience, even if you didn't want to come out about your self-harm, it could seriously help you.