I cheated on my boyfriend !

[User13]

I really don't know how I should even start . I feel gross , and like I never knew the real me . It all started a few weeks ago , when I came back from vacation with my parents all satisfied with all the people , countries that i visited and opportunities. I am in a 4 month relationship , and my bf and I weren't in same country for 2 months out of 4 month relationship. We lost contact , when we called each other it would be just dead silence . We don't have what to talk about . I started to hate him . Seeing our pictures and thinking about him makes me feel awful. Anyway , I was back from vacations ready to hangout with my 2 guy best friends . We bought some alcohol and had an amazing time . Exept , one of them is my ex bf . We were all hanging out and then my ex told me he wanted to take a walk . He had a girlfriend at a time . After a while , he kissed me . I kissed him back . Im not sure why , bc when i broke up with him long time ago it was because i didn't liked him anymore . I still dont . I guess I just like the idea of cheating . But I know it's a wrong thing . I am asking myself am i even normal ? Having these thouts , doing stuff i never would even consider ? Something is wrong with me . The problem is , that wasnt the end . A few days after , my ex and i got into a huge fight. When he apologized me , i just kissed him . Out of nowhere . And then . I got into a fight with my real bf over my best friends . He doesn't like the idea of me spending time with them althouth he doesn't know anything about all this . At a time a few more of my friends and I were camping and had a great time . When all have gone to sleep , my ex and i started making out . It just felt horrible . I know this is not the right thing . The good thing is that my bf is not in the country yet , so i have time to think . The bad thing is that i can't tell him this because one time i trusted him and he did something that made me not to trust him ever again . And my ex me and my bf are from same school . Actually , when finaly writing all this down , I feel i hit the bottom . I don't know what i should do . I lost faith into myself . I feel miserable and awful. I should've never ever done that . Am I even worth living ? Is it ever going to be okay ?
Please , if You have some advice for me , I would be happy to read them , thank you

[samuel15]

My advice is to get some self control and ether break up with your bf because you don't seem to love him anymore, or stop hooking up with your ex and continue with the bf.

You need to ask yourself who is more valuable to you, who you enjoy spending time with the most, the pros and cons of each person.

Also don't keep on cheating on him because that's just selfish and mean.

[User13]

I know , thank you

[InternetTeen]

You have to choose: Your ex or your bf.

I suggest you tell him the truth.

[jamie_n5]

You need to choose who you love and want to be with. Truthfully you aren't worthy of being with either of the guys. You basically cheated on both of them. Grow up and be mature enough to choose a guy and stay with the relationship and if it doesn't work out break up don't go running after an other guy while you are in a relationship.

[Just JT]

I don’t th8nk yiu should go out with anyone in a comitted relationship. You have other shit to work out first. And once guys know you’ll cheat on them, they’ll not wana be with you cause they will feel like they can’t trust you

So just engage in uncommitted sexual encounters, see how that works for you, cause cheating on someone is wrong, and sucks the worst for them, and the least for you....

[Stronk Serb]

Ah, a fellow Serb. Anyway, I will go along the lines of not telling him, trying to contain the thing. If you tell him he will be very hurt and he might spread it around. I suggest you break up with him and move on. It is pretty obvious you have no attraction for him anymore. I am telling this from my personal experience of being cheated on, please don't tell me. Just break up and move on. My first relationship of 16 months ended because she cheated on me and it left me devastated for a long time.

[wallflower101]

I cheated on my boyfriend 1.5 years ago. I've never hurt somebody's feelings that much before. It took time to realize what I did and accept and move on. I think the best way to settle this is to apologize, if he doesn't accept it then you're just going to have to move on. After I cheated I took a long break from dating, to work things out.

[Second Chance]

I really don't know how I should even start . I feel gross , and like I never knew the real me . It all started a few weeks ago , when I came back from vacation with my parents all satisfied with all the people , countries that i visited and opportunities. I am in a 4 month relationship , and my bf and I weren't in same country for 2 months out of 4 month relationship. We lost contact , when we called each other it would be just dead silence . We don't have what to talk about . I started to hate him . Seeing our pictures and thinking about him makes me feel awful. Anyway , I was back from vacations ready to hangout with my 2 guy best friends . We bought some alcohol and had an amazing time . Exept , one of them is my ex bf . We were all hanging out and then my ex told me he wanted to take a walk . He had a girlfriend at a time . After a while , he kissed me . I kissed him back . Im not sure why , bc when i broke up with him long time ago it was because i didn't liked him anymore . I still dont . I guess I just like the idea of cheating . But I know it's a wrong thing . I am asking myself am i even normal ? Having these thouts , doing stuff i never would even consider ? Something is wrong with me . The problem is , that wasnt the end . A few days after , my ex and i got into a huge fight. When he apologized me , i just kissed him . Out of nowhere . And then . I got into a fight with my real bf over my best friends . He doesn't like the idea of me spending time with them althouth he doesn't know anything about all this . At a time a few more of my friends and I were camping and had a great time . When all have gone to sleep , my ex and i started making out . It just felt horrible . I know this is not the right thing . The good thing is that my bf is not in the country yet , so i have time to think . The bad thing is that i can't tell him this because one time i trusted him and he did something that made me not to trust him ever again . And my ex me and my bf are from same school . Actually , when finaly writing all this down , I feel i hit the bottom . I don't know what i should do . I lost faith into myself . I feel miserable and awful. I should've never ever done that . Am I even worth living ? Is it ever going to be okay ?
Please , if You have some advice for me , I would be happy to read them , thank you

I am in total agreement with the others in one form or the other, and in the end of the day I think you need to do two things:

1. End thing with your current boyfriend
2. Stop hooking up with your ex-boyfriend if he has a girlfriend

I do agree with the person above who has said that you need self control and cannot bounce from person to person and expect them to be all right with being used. It is one thing to be in an open relationship which allows that kind of behavior, but I am going to assume your relationship is closed meaning that your partner would not be happy sharing you with someone else. In the end of the day think about how you would feel if your boyfriend had someone on the side because that would pretty much make you a non-person at that point.

I would say just break things off with your boyfriend and tell him the issue is with you and not with him. That is the honest truth, and it is probably best not to go into the cheating part. I would emphasize that the long distance is hurting you, and you both seem to have different interests which clearly is the case. Even if he tries to keep you, then do not let that happen because you do not seem to be into him anyway.

As for your ex-boyfriend and your social circle, you have to make a choice about them. If you and your ex-boyfriend genuinely are attracted to each other and still have feelings and that you both are not just using each other as rebounds, then you might need to restart that relationship. However, if your ex-boyfriend is still in a relationship, then you need to stay away from him because it is not right that you are more or less helping him to cheat on his current girlfriend. If that means hanging out with a different group of friends, then so be it.

In the end of the day you have to ask yourself how you would like to be treated. If the answer is that you would not be all right if someone cheated on you, then you must not do the same with others or enable others to cheat. If you can use this as a learning experience and not cheat again, then I would not beat yourself up too badly and move forward to be a better person. We all make mistakes, and you will be all right as long as you learn from it.