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View Full Version : I have trouble displaying physical affection towards my girlfriend. Help?


hihello123
August 10th, 2018, 12:24 AM
Hello!

I have been in a relationship for around 10 months now and it might be helpful to know that this is both of our first real serious relationship. As far as I'm concerned we are both pretty good at communicating any problems or quirks we have in our relationship and both work together to fix them, which is great. I think there are two parts to a relationship, physical intimacy and emotional. In regards to ours, the emotional aspect of this relationship is great, I've never felt this close to anybody emotionally before and I feel like we definitely click. However, the relationship definitely lacks physical affection. The most we have ever really done is make out and nothing really past that. We both have never had sex before or really have any experience period. Whats weird though, is that we have both talked about this to each other openly before, yet I still don't feel comfortable initiating anything physical because I actually have no idea what I am doing.

I feel like such a pussy with low self esteem, which isn't usually how I am as a person but in regards to this area I think I am. We both have talked about how we both wanted more physical affection in our relationship, and I think we have made some progress in making a mutual effort to be more open about it, but I am actually at a loss. Unfortunately, we don't really get to be alone a whole lot because we both live with our families still, but when an opportunity does come by for us to get physical or do anything I feel like we both kind of freeze up and end up not doing anything. I know as the guy in a relationship I'm supposed to make things happen but there is definitely a deeper rooted issue at hand I think. Maybe I'm subconsciously afraid of being rejected? Maybe I'm just overthinking it all? I know this is probably so simple to fix, because we are both in love with each other and I still feel the same for her as I did 10 months ago but I just don't know how to break the ice with her and be overall more comfortable displaying signs of affection and sexual energy.

ShineintheDark
August 10th, 2018, 07:34 PM
I know how you feel to a certain extent, I'm also in a weird place where I crave physical affection yet I can't stand people touching me in any way. Like, someone was massaging me and I had to ask them to stop because I naturally froze up. One thing that I've found though (feel free to ignore this because it's probably the worst thing to advise another person) but if you struggle to get into the right mindset when together, maybe just get drunk together and see what happens. I am known to get really affectionate when I'm drunk because I assume it puts a damper on my sober anxiety and so the best I can suggest is getting drunk.