What counts as abuse?

[Keenan.]

Hi VT community.

Let's get started. At home, I do know I get verbally abused, but I wonder how far is physical? I get punched at home in the shoulder a lot, and verbally attacked. It has come to the point where I don't care. This is also not helping that I do stand up for myself, saying you cannot do that.

Secondly, there's a mate at schools whose a total ass. He thinks since I wear glasses I am shit at everything in sports. He degrades me for doing less sport, calls me fat (I KNOW I am skinny, I am a string bean) and he gangs up on me. I do stand up for myself. Is this bulling, abuse or something else?

Thanks, Keenan. First post here too.

[Phosphene]

Hey, welcome to the community. The things you described are all some form of abuse as bullying is abuse in itself. How long has the physical abuse from your family gone on, and has it gotten worse? Same for the bullying, and has standing up for yourself had any effect at all? Lastly, is there an adult you trust that you can discuss this with? I'm sorry about your situation and I hope you can find someone to help you resolve it.

[Croconaw]

All of those things count as abuse. Emotional abuse can still be abuse. Your friend sounds like a complete asshole. I would no longer associate with that person.

[Keenan.]

Hey, welcome to the community. The things you described are all some form of abuse as bullying is abuse in itself. How long has the physical abuse from your family gone on, and has it gotten worse? Same for the bullying, and has standing up for yourself had any effect at all? Lastly, is there an adult you trust that you can discuss this with? I'm sorry about your situation and I hope you can find someone to help you resolve it.

How long has the physical abuse from your family gone on, and has it gotten worse?: 2 Months
Same for the bullying, and has standing up for yourself had any effect at all? Yeah, he just gets pissed off and torrents abuse.
Lastly, is there an adult you trust that you can discuss this with?I have some other mates I have, but I don't talk about this.

[Phosphene]

How long has the physical abuse from your family gone on, and has it gotten worse?: 2 Months
Same for the bullying, and has standing up for yourself had any effect at all? Yeah, he just gets pissed off and torrents abuse.
Lastly, is there an adult you trust that you can discuss this with?I have some other mates I have, but I don't talk about this.

By mates you mean friends? You should find an adult, like the school counselor or a family member you don't live with, who you feel comfortable opening up to. It's good that you've tried to defend yourself, but this calls for more than you can currently do on your own if they're continuing the abuse.

[Just JT]

Yeah man that’s all abuse, and you deserve better than that. I don’t condone fighting (anymore) but self defense is a necessary evil. In my world if someone starts some shit with me I finish it, so I don’t get fucked with to often.

But your family thing that’s different. Other kids will be assholes that’s part of life. But your own family?
No bro that sounds not ok. It’s been happening for 2 months?
So7mds like something happened that caused someone in your family t9 suddenly start shit with you.

Who is it in your family?
Parent or sibling?

[Keenan.]

Who is it in your family?
Parent or sibling?
Who is it in your family? Father. It's toned down a bit, but that's since my mother is away for work. They really get on me when they are together, my father is always a dick though. Like, today, I turned on the heater since it was hailing today (Melbourne) and freezing and if not now he'd do it later. He always does it. Then he came in and said "ughhh you cost us our holiday how dare you make it hotter ughdfhdfhd". He blamed his financial problems on me, and in my head, I think *maybe if you didnt drink so much beer you could save more*. He drinks so much.

My brother is fine, he gets more verbally then physically then me.

My sister, god she's a saint. She get's everything, gangs up on me with him. Before, when she was in the wrongdoing with starting an argument and him standing there he told me to shoosh. I stopped, since I wasn't bothered to challenge, then she kept on. In fact, she'd be able to kill someone and be innocent.

My mother is great by herself. This is because I slightly have more power than her since when she attempts to attack me ever I grab her hand. I do this, since last time I didn't, when I was facing away she slapped me in the head. Let's say I got punched in the guts from my father after that.

They insist that it's all legal, and it's corporal punishment. I've even called them out on it. They deny it's illegal. In fact, I was rewatching the old news on the DaddyOf5 person and he like slightly punched him and he got child abuse claims. Next time it happens, I'll call him out on the laws again for child neglect (maybe) but child abuse when he punches me again.

Really I'm just trying to stay out, and try to stay in control of myself. Don't go into that dark road of self-harm or depression. I'm pretty sure one of my mates are having problems. I saw he had marks on his knuckles (he's a good kid, and he doesn't fight hard with anyone). Other day, when I went to school for sports (this is at start of day) I saw bloody nose. Oh shit, just now I connected the dots. I plan to ask him again when something happens.

Sorry for rantish at the end hehe

[Gvanni]

I've been in this situation many times but I honestly don't know what to tell you. You just have to get through it whether it be fucking your father up whenever he tries to touch you, sucking it up, or reporting him. If your strong, you can get through sucking it up, although this is very mentally taxing. It fucks with your head for your father to be like this, I'm not only talking about depression either although that will happen a lot. You may need to seek therapy. We are two different people but for me it gave me a mental complex. The only thing that is certain is that this won't stop. However as you get older, your views will change and you will be able to tolerate it better.

[kro814]

Gosh this is so wrong. getting punched is not corporal punishment. It's abuse. I hope that you can speak with a someone at school.

You also should not tolerate being bullied at school. For sure the school can and must do to protect you and make sure it stops happening.

I sure hope it gets better for you soon.

[Keenan.]

Gosh this is so wrong. getting punched is not corporal punishment. It's abuse. I hope that you can speak with a someone at school.

You also should not tolerate being bullied at school. For sure the school can and must do to protect you and make sure it stops happening.

I sure hope it gets better for you soon.

Is it really bullying at school? I somehow think not really, but maybe I'm blind

[Just JT]

If you are minimizing the treatment your getting from “family” and schoolmates, as somehow ok, then yeah I think your blind and it’s heridetary. Corporal punishment may not be illegal where you live, but it doesn’t make it ok.

It’s wrong on so many levels bro, take that from someone who’s been beaten and abused pretty much anyway you can imagine from “family”

It’s wrong, and you may be against the odds to fight it, but doesn’t mean you need to accept it, so I’d stand up for myself if I were you, and tackle that shot head on.

[Ben99]

Getting pinched and verbally assulted are both forms of abuse.