I don't know what I am doing with my life anymore..

[Menzis]

I currently am a 17-year-old boy living in the Netherlands and I live with my dad, my mom has her own place, my parents are divorced, but my mom is still at our house a lot, I live with 1 brother who is in the army during the week (I only see him in the weekend). I also live with a younger brother and sister.
10 Years ago my dad and mom splitted up, We got hit by our dad, because he was stressed out alot. Over the years it became less, and he asked us for forgiveness and he never hits us anymore. I have forgiven him a long time ago. In my life I have moved 3 times.

I currently go to school by train (35-65 minutes travelling). Lately my life has become a mess, my dad has told us that he is having a financial crisis and that there might be some changes. I noticed that I don't ever have breakfast anymore. I started eating a lot less and if I wanted something to snack I'd have to buy it myself. I only have dinner in the evening or when I buy something myself. It even has come up to a point that I started shoplifting food. I had never shoplifted before untill this year. My motivation for school has gone real bad too. I skip classes at least 1 or 2 times a week or tell the school that I'm sick while i'm not. I dont have any good friends and I'm really desperate for friends. In between my family the relationships have gone backwards, we don't really talk a lot to each other, and my dad is gone working a lot. I feel that I have responsibility in the house when my dad is gone which is a lot, because my brother is in the army and I am the oldest.

I have changed my mind about the current education I am doing, and it's not what I see my future in. I do an education for game art, but I don't feel like I want to do this anymore. I am scared to tell my dad, because he pays a lot for my school, and we are already in a financial crisis, so I am really depressed.

Sorry for the long post I hope someone has tips for me.

Update:
It's going a little bit better now, I applied for a job, but I am still waiting for a response. I still shoplift food now and then, but less than first.
I like my education a bit more again, because of the classes i'm currently in. I have to draw a lot which I love to do.
I still skip classes sometimes 1 day this week and 2 days last week.
I have 2 weeks of vacation now, and don't know how to spend my time.

[Miserabilia]

Wow... that's really terrible for you ):
I guess the only advice I can give you is too try to keep eating regular meals;
it sounds like crappy advice but if you give up normal meal times and food intakes it will only make you feel worse and that will make you eat less and it goes like that in a cycle....

[JamesSuperBoy]

That sounds bad for everybody I really hope it get better but maybe you should tell your Dad about the school -

[Derek951]

you're having a rough time for sure, man. even though i know you find yourself skipping class and wanting to be alone more, that's probably the last thing you should do. Like u said, you don't have any close friends, and avoiding school won't make that part any better. talking on here is a good start, hopefully, as far as talking and opening up to people. i know it sounds like dumb advice, but do your best to be positive. trust me, others can detect that...if they feel you're sad or depressed, they may think you don't want them to talk to you.

[imthomas]

That's rough man. I hope things get better

[Menzis]

Update:
It's going a little bit better now, I applied for a job, but I am still waiting for a response. I still shoplift food now and then, but less than first.
I like my education a bit more again, because of the classes i'm currently in. I have to draw a lot which I love to do.
I still skip classes sometimes 1 day this week and 2 days last week.
I have 2 weeks of vacation now, and don't know how to spend my time.