Uncomfortable Around Girls

[Blashyrkh]

Hi. I'm an 18 yo straight male. And i feel uncomfortable around girls. But i don't mean i'm a shy person. I'm definitely not shy.

I don't want to see any girls in public. Like in school, street or bus. I get very uncomfortable for example when a girl sits next to me in public transport.

But i do feel attracted to girls at the same time. And of course i never had a girlfriend (got rejected 3 times).

Does anyone know what's going on?

[Croconaw]

Are you afraid of being rejected?

[Blashyrkh]

No.

I feel both attracted and disgusted when i see a beautiful girl.

[BlackParadePixie]

disgusted...? Not sure what you mean by that.

[Phosphene]

No.

I feel both attracted and disgusted when i see a beautiful girl.

Could that perhaps stem from a low opinion of yourself? You're attracted to a girl, then disgusted because you don't feel you're worthy of associating with her? If so, you are just as entitled to love and happiness as the next person; don't be so quick to dismiss yourself as unworthy. Besides, appearance isn't representative of character, personality, and all the more important aspects you can’t know by simply looking at someone.

[Blashyrkh]

Well it's actually the opposite. I'm somewhat of a narcissistic person. I feel like most of the girls are not worthy of associating with me. And when i find a girl that i think we can have good time together, she rejects me.

And what i mean by "disgusted" is (this may sound weird) when i see a girl i think about her past relationships (i mean i don't even know her name, but i assume that she had relationships with other guys) and the fact that she had boyfriends in the past makes me feel disgusted. Because i haven't had any girlfriends in the past.

I hope that i have explained myself well. Because those are hard to explain for me. And i am aware that what i think about those girls are really stupid. But i can't stop thinking and feeling that way.

[Phosphene]

Well it's actually the opposite. I'm somewhat of a narcissistic person. I feel like most of the girls are not worthy of associating with me. And when i find a girl that i think we can have good time together, she rejects me.

And what i mean by "disgusted" is (this may sound weird) when i see a girl i think about her past relationships (i mean i don't even know her name, but i assume that she had relationships with other guys) and the fact that she had boyfriends in the past makes me feel disgusted. Because i haven't had any girlfriends in the past.

I hope that i have explained myself well. Because those are hard to explain for me. And i am aware that what i think about those girls are really stupid. But i can't stop thinking and feeling that way.

Ah... in that case, most of what I said still kinda applies here. Just looking at them you can't know any of this stuff. You already have some confidence; you just need to get to know people and you'll eventually figure out all these unknowns, because that's what's keeping you from getting anywhere. You can't expect to know things if you don't give people the chance to know you, too. Rejection is discouraging, I know. But if you let your narcissism be a shield that blocks you from getting to know people in the first place, you can't be rejected or accepted.

[emily_1109]

I’ll give you some very brief advice. Just be you. The right girl is going to like you for you. Don’t worry about when she will show up. I promise you she will.

[centreoftheuniverse]

maybe you're aromantic/asexual?

[TheDef.ofWallflower]

Well it's actually the opposite. I'm somewhat of a narcissistic person. I feel like most of the girls are not worthy of associating with me. And when i find a girl that i think we can have good time together, she rejects me.

And what i mean by "disgusted" is (this may sound weird) when i see a girl i think about her past relationships (i mean i don't even know her name, but i assume that she had relationships with other guys) and the fact that she had boyfriends in the past makes me feel disgusted. Because i haven't had any girlfriends in the past.

I hope that i have explained myself well. Because those are hard to explain for me. And i am aware that what i think about those girls are really stupid. But i can't stop thinking and feeling that way.

sophiaisiam; I don’t really think he’s asexual. He clearly said that he’s attracted to women and that the only reason he feels uncomfortable is not because he’s not, but because he is. But mostly, it seems that he personally has to work out that even if the girl he is interested in has had more relationships than him, I personally don’t think it’s fair to be disgusted by them.

There are many reasons for someone to perhaps feel “disgust”, as you put it, with women. But, for you to feel disgusted because they maybe have had more relationships than you, that’s honestly an extremely selfish mindset to have.

Look man, I like you, I can tell that you have good intentions and are generally a nice guy, and I can clearly tell where you are coming from. I’ve faced many of the same issues that you are having now. But, you do realize this resentment you have was the same resentment Elliot Rodgers had that motivated him to commit the Isla Vista massacre. What I personally see is a guy that needs to do drastically rethink his views on women in general.

Best of luck to ya,
Wallflower

[Blashyrkh]

I actually have a very romantic personality, Sophia. So much that it seems like it will be the cause of my end.

And thank you, Wallflower. You are right i have to change.

And i also have to do something about my obsession with that girl who rejected me a year ago. It doesn't seem to go on it's own.