Is taking long to respond back a normal Phenomenon for girls?

[Cjmccjface]

Sorry guys, Iv'e been posting a lot on here today. As you might know I have been Dm'ing this girl today. I get it, we all have busy lives that we need to put up with every day, but it's just driving me crazy right now. I never seem to get an opportunity like this. Is she Ignoring me? Did she delete my messages? I need some closure. Does anyone else ever experience this when talking to girls for the first time?

[Croconaw]

Ahh, this is the topic that messes with my mind a lot. I have felt annoying before, otherwise known as clingy. I have read your previous posts, and it seems you have connected well with this girl. I can relate to this situation because I always feel like the only one putting effort in.

You have to remember just because she is online, doesn’t necessarily mean she is ignoring you. Sometimes people leave Instagram open in another tab, but they aren’t actually on; it says they are active when they are really not. You mentioned Instagram in your last post, so I assume that is the platform you are using to talk to her.

I don’t know if this will be helpful to you because it seems you have just met this girl, but if I am always the one initiating conversation, I would suggest the three day rule. What that is, is basically do not initiate contact with her for three days. If she messages you in that time frame, that’s great; you can reply to her. Just don’t initiate contact yourself. That means do not message her first. See if she makes an effort to talk with you.

Maybe if you can talk with her for a few more days, you can test this method and see what happens. Do you feel as if she is making any effort? Does she seem interested when you do talk with her? You seem to have common ground with hockey. Try talking with her about hockey, and she if she acts interested. Actions speak louder than words; people can say whatever, but listen to their actions. If they aren’t putting any effort in, they do not want to talk to you. I have learned that the hard way. It’s sad, but it’s a part of relationships.

[Phosphene]

Anxiety over slow responses from people of any type of relationship to you is normal. Just remember we can never know what's going on at all times in someone's life and that usually a slow response isn't because of a faux pas on your end. If I get messages from family/close friends and from people I don't know as well, I'll respond to the people I'm closer to first. The more you talk and learn about each other, the more engaged you'll both be. In the meantime, just try not to over-analyze the minuscule things. :)

[Cjmccjface]

Ahh, this is the topic that messes with my mind a lot. I have felt annoying before, otherwise known as clingy. I have read your previous posts, and it seems you have connected well with this girl. I can relate to this situation because I always feel like the only one putting effort in.

You have to remember just because she is online, doesn’t necessarily mean she is ignoring you. Sometimes people leave Instagram open in another tab, but they aren’t actually on; it says they are active when they are really not. You mentioned Instagram in your last post, so I assume that is the platform you are using to talk to her.

I don’t know if this will be helpful to you because it seems you have just met this girl, but if I am always the one initiating conversation, I would suggest the three day rule. What that is, is basically do not initiate contact with her for three days. If she messages you in that time frame, that’s great; you can reply to her. Just don’t initiate contact yourself. That means do not message her first. See if she makes an effort to talk with you.

Maybe if you can talk with her for a few more days, you can test this method and see what happens. Do you feel as if she is making any effort? Does she seem interested when you do talk with her? You seem to have common ground with hockey. Try talking with her about hockey, and she if she acts interested. Actions speak louder than words; people can say whatever, but listen to their actions. If they aren’t putting any effort in, they do not want to talk to you. I have learned that the hard way. It’s sad, but it’s a part of relationships.


First off, just wanted to say thank you for helping me out today through this complicated process, its tearing on me a lot today. Thank you for everything

just wanted to run you through my simple plan, when she still had her profile up, she said that she wanted to be DM'ed on Insta. she included her insta on her page. So I was going to shoot her a message asking her if she still using her profile, and if she said yes I would get the ball rolling from there. After a couple of hours of talking I would ask for her phone number. After awhile, I would ask her on a date (If I thought she was a good fit). that was my basic plan. But as I mentioned in the previous post she deleted her profile before I messaged her, This and Her taking long to respond back has me worried:confused:

[Croconaw]

First off, just wanted to say thank you for helping me out today through this complicated process, its tearing on me a lot today. Thank you for everything

just wanted to run you through my simple plan, when she still had her profile up, she said that she wanted to be DM'ed on Insta. she included her insta on her page. So I was going to shoot her a message asking her if she still using her profile, and if she said yes I would get the ball rolling from there. After a couple of hours of talking I would ask for her phone number. After awhile, I would ask her on a date (If I thought she was a good fit). that was my basic plan. But as I mentioned in the previous post she deleted her profile before I messaged her, This and Her taking long to respond back has me worried:confused:
I wouldn’t worry too much. I’m sure she will respond sometime tonight or tomorrow. People get busy. I would definitely pay attention to how she communicates. Try to understand if she is actually interested in the conversations. I try to analyze the way people type or just communicate to see if they seem at all interested. I know it’s probsbly weird, but I don’t want to waste my time on someone that isn’t interested.

I currently have the feeling that I’m slightly annoying to my best friend. It sucks, but I know things will get better. Things will get better for you, too. I promise.

[Cjmccjface]

still haven't got a response back yet

[BlackParadePixie]

It's been like a day... chill out.

[Croconaw]

Yeah, it’s only natural to feel like you’re annoying. Anxiety over slow responses is normal. It’s okay.

[samuel15]

If you pm her on VT then expect it to take forever!
There aren’t any notifications so she might only see your messages when actually on the site.

[Croconaw]

If you pm her on VT then expect it to take forever!
There aren’t any notifications so she might only see your messages when actually on the site.
The girl definitely isn’t on this site. I don’t think anyone would feel comfortable referencing another member on this site in regards to having a crush on them. I am pretty sure the girl is on Instagram.

[Cjmccjface]

You think I should shoot her a message about Hockey to Gauge some more Interest?

[Croconaw]

You think I should shoot her a message about Hockey to Gauge some more Interest?

That would be a good idea.

[Cjmccjface]

That would be a good idea.

man it's been almost a day sense I first messaged her i'm beginning to think that she is not interested.

[Jrunner]

Yeah this is a question I’d like to know about too, boys have feelings too!

[Phosphene]

Yeah this is a question I’d like to know about too, boys have feelings too!

To be fair, this is a common anxiety not limited to guys. There are plenty of instances where guys have made me feel this way. It can come from family, friends, potential partners... but in any case, it's most likely not worth taking personally.

[Jrunner]

To be fair, this is a common anxiety not limited to guys. There are plenty of instances where guys have made me feel this way. It can come from family, friends, potential partners... but in any case, it's most likely not worth taking personally.

Oh yeah, I didn’t mean to say that either sex is “more guilty” of dragging texts than the other, I just mean the that boys can get worried (prob bc of their own hangups etc) about thinking they’re being ignored just as much as girls can (wish I knew more about that tho lol), and yeah it does cause anxiety.:confused:

[Ttssman]

Yeah this is a question I’d like to know about too, boys have feelings too!

Right!

[Cjmccjface]

Right!

She posted on her Insta about 2 hours ago, I don't know what to do at this point. We both have a common Interests :confused:

[Croconaw]

She posted on her Insta about 2 hours ago, I don't know what to do at this point. We both have a common Interests :confused:
Girls are freaking confusing. Maybe she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings? I’ve had my heart broken by girls before and it isn’t fun. Did she not seem interested in your conversations together?

[Cjmccjface]

Girls are freaking confusing. Maybe she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings? I’ve had my heart broken by girls before and it isn’t fun. Did she not seem interested in your conversations together?

No, I guess not. I would have been nice if She would have just said the she wasn't interested in a relationship. It would have saved me a lot of time that I could have uses somewhere else. But whatever.

[cinderfella]

I think you should wait. You don't really want to sound desperate if you are attracted to this person.

[Cjmccjface]

I think you should wait. You don't really want to sound desperate if you are attracted to this person.

I wasn't trying to sound desperate when I was trying to DM her. I tried to strike some interest by making the connection with Hockey.

[cinderfella]

I wasn't trying to sound desperate when I was trying to DM her. I tried to strike some interest by making the connection with Hockey.

Well I didn't know what you were talking about. The statement you made was pretty short and general about too long to respond might be a phenomenon with girls.