I can't stand my best friend's girlfriend--what to do?

[HeyCameron]

Have you ever been in the situation where you really don't like the person your close friend is dating?

For various reasons, I don't like my best friend's girlfriend. They've been together for several months now. I actually liked her more at first than I do now. I won't get into specific reasons. But it's getting to the point where I almost don't like hanging out with my best friend anymore because I know she will be there.

I also don't want to tell my best friend the truth about how I feel (he hasn't asked for it--if he asked for my honest opinion, I think I would give it, but since he hasn't asked, I haven't said).

What did you do when you were in this situation?

[Katie2003]

The best thing to do in life is always be polite and respectful even toward people that you don't particularly like. Not everyone can get along with everyone else, but we should try to be nice whenever possible.

My mom is a behavioral psychologist and she gave me that advice years ago when I had a teacher I didn't care for. You never know in the future what you might need that person's help with, or what position of authority either of you could be in over the other.

If your friendship is important to you, then try to be tolerant of their other friends including this girl.

My little sis doesn't really care for the girl I'm currently dating, but she's still polite to her and talks to her.

[cinderfella]

Umm the mature thing to do would be to suck it up and pretend like nothing happened. But realistically speaking it could lead to some passive aggressive shit and open up a can of worms of resentment and overall bad vibes.

My suggestion would be talk to your friend one on one tell with the 100 on how you are feeling. If you dont tell him anything your friend will try to be more inclusive by forcing you to bond etc. You do not want this as this may lead back to the first point.

The most immature but quite satisfying to do is obviously break ties or avoid your close friend. Obviously this is immature but sometime the reaction of the SO depending on how they were annoying in first place will usually lead into a messy situation they might lose.

What would I do? A combination of 2 and 3.

Source Being in the same situation myself.

[Jake445]

I agree that if you want to keep your best friend, which you probably want to do very much, you should tolerate his girlfriend for his sake! I don't know if she is purposefully mean to you or not, but if not remember that their relationship may be temporary but your friendship doesn't have to be!

[Spooky_Eli]

play her GN'R's used to love her and tell her its a present from your best friend:D

but seriouslly suck it up, there's nothing you can do about it.

[ska8er]

Don't mix in with their relationship.
If she is always there with him then
r u sure u don't like her cause he is
paying more attention to her than u?
If hes happy with her-b happy for him.
Unless he asks u about her-zip it.

[jamie_n5]

I think that you should stand by your friend and be polite and tolerate of his girlfriend. Let him find out for himself if this girl truly meets what he is looking for in a girl. People need to make mistakes and find the solutions themselves. If you are truly reading this girl right and your friend and you see things a lot alike in other cases then maybe he will discover her true personality too.

[kyle2003]

What reason do you not like her? If she said or did something specific, then talk to your friend about it. If you just don't like a particular personality trait or that she takes all your friends time, then I wouldn't say anything to your friend.

Maybe talk to your friend about how you miss just spending time together and see if he would be willing to make some time just to spend with you. I'm sure he would understand that.

[inactiveguy678]

Tell him everything you don't like about the GF in a neutral manner as possible. Don't let it fester. These fermented bad emotions one they burst out are very toxic and destructive. Of course, do so in a neutral environment that wont heighten both of your emotions.

[Semi_IronMan]

Firstly I think you should just respect their relationship, don’t do anything that could cause them to break up or whatever. Also you don’t have to hang out with her, tell your friend that sometimes you just wanna hang out with him and not feel like a third wheel, I’m sure he will understand.

[MattyGreg]

I know exactly what you mean since I have been in your place(pretty much still am)
...If something happened where she hurt your feelings somehow then talk to your friend...else if you just don't like her in general (that can happen and there's nothing wrong with that)...you can just tell your friend that you would like to spend some only bros time when hanging out with him without his gf around

[HeyCameron]

It's probably not as big of a deal as I'm portraying it. I'm still hanging out with him, but yeah, I've lost some interest in hanging out with the two of them.

The reasons I don't like her are complicated and personal and nothing I can prove here, so not really worth going into detail. But I can say that I find her to be controlling. She has a very different personality from my friend, who is extremely easy-going.

[Shamal]

I guess you want your friend to be happy, so if you do tell him be sure you can back it up. If its something that he likes about her, maybe just get used to it or if he is just caught up in the romance it might be good for him to see what you don't like

[nicktheman2003]

It's probably not as big of a deal as I'm portraying it. I'm still hanging out with him, but yeah, I've lost some interest in hanging out with the two of them.

The reasons I don't like her are complicated and personal and nothing I can prove here, so not really worth going into detail. But I can say that I find her to be controlling. She has a very different personality from my friend, who is extremely easy-going.

It sounds like you really care for your friend and you don't want him to get hurt or taken advantage by his girlfriend. From what little you say about her it sounds that her personality does not compliment your friends, he's easy going and she is controlling. All I can say is just be there for him and keep being the good friend that you are and there will be a day when the two of your are together and an opportunity could come up when you can talk about it.

[nickole9]

You can spend time together without her, do you have any common interests in which his gf is not involved?

[Emilyyy]

These things happen I'm afraid. If you are honest with your friend you might find he distances himself from you which is not good. I guess the best thing to do would be to try and hang out with him without him. Sometimes opposites do attract and it's not always a bad thing.

[JQL---]

The girlfriend won't last. Your friendship will.

[marcxhk]

Find a new hobby in meantime?

[EmilyM]

Just be there for him as a friend. Don’t try to drive them apart because it will probably ruin your friendship. Like others have said it will end eventually and you will still be friends